Think bus rides are boring?
Think again!
Our carefully curated compilation of bus jokes is here to prove that laughter and public transportation go hand in hand.
From quirky drivers to unexpected passengers, our collection of jokes about buses captures the essence of bus adventures. It’s like a mini comedy club on wheels!
So, get ready to bring some joy to your fellow passengers – let’s make these bus rides memorable for all the right reasons!
Best Bus Jokes
Hey, laugh-lovers! Buckle up for the grand giggle tour! We’ve handpicked the cream of the crop in bus jokes. Ready for a ride full of belly laughs? All aboard!
Why did the bus driver go to therapy?
He had too many issues with letting things go!
Why was the math book sad on the bus?
Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff?
A good start!
What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.
Why did the bus driver lose his job?
He didn’t look forward to it!
What did the bus say to the truck?
“You’re overtaking me!”
Why do buses never tell secrets?
They always have too many passengers!
How does a bus greet another bus?
“Long time, no see!”
What do you call a bus that can’t stop smiling?
A happy bus.
How do you organize a space party on a bus?
You planet!
Why did the bus go to the bank?
To get its fare share.
What’s a bus’s favorite game?
Hide and seek – it loves stopping unexpectedly!
Why did the bus driver get in trouble with the chef?
He couldn’t make a complete stop without rolling.
What’s a bus’s favorite subject in school?
Geography – it loves going places!
Why was the bus blushing?
Because it saw the streetcar’s tracks!
What do you call a bus that can’t keep a secret?
A loudmouth transporter.
How do you know when a bus is lying?
When it’s not standing still!
What’s a bus’s favorite movie genre?
Action – it loves stopping and going!
Funny Bus Jokes
Strap in for a ROFL coaster! We’ve got the funniest bus jokes in town. Grab your ticket to a side-splitting journey. Caution: your face might hurt from smiling so much!
Why did the bicycle fall over on the bus?
Because it was two-tired!
What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cookie?
Stop-sign shaped cookies!
Why did the tomato turn red on the bus?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a bus that can rap?
Public Transpor-rhyme-tation!
Why did the bus driver get a promotion?
He was always on the right track!
What do you call a bus with a disco ball?
A funky transporter!
Why don’t buses ever get lonely?
They always have lots of passengers!
How do you make a tissue dance on a bus?
You put a little boogie in it!
What’s a bus’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with lots of stops and starts!
How do you catch a squirrel on a bus?
Act like a nut and let it come to you!
What did the grape say to the bus driver?
“Stop crushing me!”
Why did the bus driver bring a ladder?
Because he heard the fare was going up!
What do you call a bus that can’t stay still?
Unstable transportation!
How do buses communicate?
They use sign language!
Why did the bus driver open a bakery?
He wanted to make a lot of dough!
What did the traffic light say to the bus?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
Why did the bus driver get a ticket?
He couldn’t control his temper!
What do you call a bus with a broken horn?
A tootless transporter!
How does a bus answer the phone?
“Yellow!”
What’s a bus’s favorite kind of sandwich?
A traffic jam sandwich!
Why did the bus driver sit on a newspaper?
He wanted to keep track of the stops!
What’s a bus’s favorite type of coffee?
Espresso – it’s always in a hurry!
Why did the bus driver join a band?
He wanted to get on board with the music!
What do you call a bus with a sense of humor?
A pun-lic transportation!
Why did the bus go to the doctor?
It had a case of exhaust-ion!
What’s a bus’s favorite thing to do at a party?
Start a conga line!
Why did the bus driver become a gardener?
Because he wanted to work on his root schedule!
How does a bus apologize?
It offers a heartfelt “bus-sorry!”
Rude Bus Jokes
Hold onto your seats, rebels! We’re diving into the spicy side of humor with these rude bus jokes. It’s a wild, no-holds-barred ride. Brace for laughter with attitude!
What’s the difference between a bus full of clowns and a bus full of passengers?
On the bus full of clowns, you know who the jokers are.
What’s the best thing about rush hour?
Knowing at least some of the people crammed next to you are miserable too.
How can you tell a tourist on the bus?
They’re the ones wearing backpacks the size of suitcases and blocking the aisle.
What’s the most annoying sound on a bus?
A loud phone conversation on speaker about someone’s personal drama.
What’s worse than stepping in gum on the bus?
Stepping in something sticky that definitely isn’t gum.
Why did the bus driver get fired?
Because he kept using the emergency exit to avoid rush hour traffic.
What’s the hardest part about being a bus driver?
Pretending to care when someone yells, “Doors please!” for the tenth time.
What do bus drivers take for lunch?
Brake pads. (Because they’re constantly hitting them!)
How many bus drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they’ll just complain it’s the mechanic’s job.
What do you call a grumpy bus driver?
A road rage dispenser.
What’s the difference between a bus stop and a therapist’s couch?
At least the therapist charges you to listen to your problems.
My bus bumper sticker says, “Honk if you love public transportation!”
It hasn’t been honked at yet.
“Sorry, we’re not accepting exact change at this time.”
Every bus driver ever.
“If you see something, say nothing.”
Bus safety slogan re-imagined.
School Bus Jokes
Time to rewind to the good old days! Join us for a nostalgic trip with school bus jokes. Brace for laughs that’ll transport you back to the playground.
Why did the bus bring a ladder to the party?
It wanted to make an “entrance”!
The bus was feeling musical, so it started singing.
It had “tire”-rific vocal range!
What’s a bus’s favorite dessert?
“Highway” cones!
Why did the bus get a promotion?
It was great at “carrying” out its duties!
The bus was learning to play the guitar. It said,
“I’m working on my ‘trans-chords’!”
Why did the bus go to the art gallery?
It heard they had some “fine-tuned” masterpieces!
The bus’s favorite book?
“The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round… Just Like My Day!”
Why did the bus start a workout routine?
It wanted to have a “fit” route!
Why did the school bus feel stressed?
It had too many “detour”ists onboard!
Why did the school bus miss the first day of school?
It overslept and couldn’t “catch the bus” on time.
What do you call a school bus that’s been converted into a bakery?
A “roll”ing classroom!
When the school bus got stuck in traffic, it said.
“I guess it’s time to put my patience in ‘park’ mode.”
What did the school bus say to the students?
“Don’t worry, I’ll ‘transport’ you to knowledge!”
The school bus had an excellent memory.
It never forgot a “route”ine detail.
What’s a school bus’s favorite song?
“Wheels on the Bus,” of course!
The school bus had a pet dog.
It was a “bu-ssetter” breed.
Why was the school bus always confident?
It had a lot of “drive” and determination.
The school bus was a great artist.
It knew how to “draw” in a crowd of students.
Bus Jokes One Liners
Need a laughter shot? We’ve got rapid-fire bus jokes in one-liner style. Quick, snappy, and hilarious – your daily dose of giggles and express delivery!
I used to be afraid of the bus, but then I got over my “fare” of it.
Did you hear about the bus that drove off a cliff? The passengers had a really “uplifting” experience.
Why did the math book look sad on the bus? It had too many problems.
I told the bus driver I lost my wallet. He said, “No problem, just ‘change’ your attitude!”
I tried to start a conversation with my bus, but it just kept “driving” me away.
Why don’t buses ever get lost? They always follow a “route” plan.
What’s a bus’s favorite computer key? The “enter” key, of course!
Why did the bus driver get in trouble? He couldn’t find the right “lane” of work.
Why did the bus bring a ladder to the soccer game? It wanted to cheer for its favorite team from the “top” row!
What do you call a bus that sings? A “trans-choir-tation”!
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the race? It wanted to pick up a “passenger”!
I challenged the bus driver to a staring contest. I blinked first, but the bus didn’t even “flinch”!
Why don’t buses ever get lost? They have a strong “direction” to their destination.
Did you hear about the bus that went to space? It had a “far-out” journey!
The bus driver told me a joke about wheels, but it was “tire”-d.
I wanted to become a bus driver, but I didn’t have the “drive” for it.
Why did the bicycle fall over when the bus passed by? It was “tired” of keeping up!
I saw a bus that had a bumper sticker saying, “I break for puns!”
Did you hear about the bus that went to therapy? It had too many “traffic” issues to deal with!
I asked the bus driver for directions, and he said, “I’m just here for the ‘ride’ advice!”
The bus was feeling down, so I told it a joke. It couldn’t help but “wheely” laugh!
Why did the bus blush? It saw the “street” it had a crush on!
The bus told a joke so bad, even the GPS groaned: “That was a ‘road’-ful attempt!”
Why did the bus start a band? It wanted to hit all the “highways” of music!
The bus was having a tough time, so I told it, “Just ‘bus’-t out a smile!”
What do you call a bus that can do magic tricks? “Trans-pour-tation”!
The bus was a great actor – it always knew how to “steer” up some drama!
The school bus driver couldn’t find the math book. He needed help with “subtracting” the missing item.
When the school bus got a flat tire, the students were in for a “tire”-rific delay.
The school bus was feeling tired after a long day. It just wanted to “rest stop” for a while.
The school bus and the bicycle had a race. The bus won, but the bicycle said, “I was just trying to pedal my way to victory!”
The school bus told the students a joke, and they all laughed so hard that it caused a “bus-t” of giggles.
Clean Bus Jokes
Gather ’round, everyone! It’s a family-friendly fiesta with our clean bus jokes. No worries about crossing any lines – just pure, wholesome fun. Let the chuckles commence!
Why did the refrigerator catch the bus?
A: It had a pre-launch malfunction.
Which mode of transport do superheroes prefer?
Lightyear’s bus.
Why did the bus driver feel paranoid?
He believed people were gossiping behind his back.
What’s the fate of The Who’s vintage tour bus?
It won’t get refueled.
How did the man earn his bus driving job?
He was an expert at directing passengers to the exits.
Why did the driver lose his job after giving up his seat?
He was supposed to stay seated while driving!
What did the bus conductor say when asked if the bus stops near the Thames?
If it doesn’t, expect a big splash!
Why couldn’t the skeleton pay his bus fare?
He was broke.
Why did the bus driver insist you sit down during the journey?
He didn’t want standing ovations.
Which game is popular among monster bus riders?
Squash.
Why did the snooker player get a 147?
The bus stopped right outside the hall.
How do eels commute on the ocean floor?
By octobus.
Why was the school bus yellow and unable to swim?
It was a school bus!
Why did the bus come to a halt at the zebra crossing?
It saw a zebra crossing.
What sandwiches do bus drivers love?
Traffic jam ones.
What’s the difference between a school bus and a father’s van?
School buses don’t usually carry screaming kids!
What did the passenger say when asked about traveling to California on a bus?
All of me will.
How is a school bus different from a birthday cake?
The latter is edible!
Why was the Hogwarts Express canceled?
Snow on the tracks, so they took the Magic School Bus instead.
Why did the bus conductor get a shock without any effect?
He was a poor conductor.
Why was the song dedicated to a friend in the hospital?
Because the wheels on the bus go round and round!
What’s the dark side of being kind-hearted on a bus?
Giving your seat to a blind person can get you fired if you’re the driver!
What’s the main concern of a bus driver on Tinder?
When his dates find out he’s a bus driver.
Why are some people scared of dying alone?
Hence, they become bus drivers!
How did the elderly woman end up at the hospital?
Someone gave her a direct route by pushing her in front of a bus.
Why did the bus blush?
It saw the truck’s undercarriage.
Why was the bus always in trouble in school?
It couldn’t stay in its lane!
How does a bus like its tea?
In the traffic jam.
What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music?
Brake-beat!
Why did the bus put on sunscreen?
To avoid burning its fuel.
How do buses greet each other?
“Wanna take a brake?”
Bus Jokes for Adults
Time for the grown-ups to shine! Hop on the adult humor express – it’s a journey filled with jokes tailored for the more experienced chuckler. Keep your laughter license handy!
Why did the bus go to school early?
It wanted to be ahead of traffic.
Why was the bus always calm?
It had a lot of stops.
Why did the scarecrow become a bus driver?
He was outstanding in his field and wanted a change.
Why was the bus good at the game of chess?
It always knew when to make the right move.
What do buses and computers have in common?
Both have drivers!
Why was the bus so cold?
It had too many windows.
Why did the bus stop at the beach?
It wanted to pick up some sand-wiches!
How do you know a bus is cold?
When you see it with its blower on!
Why did the bus file a police report?
It got its signals crossed!
How does a bus keep its pants up?
With a traffic belt!
Why don’t buses have good stories to tell?
Their journeys are always so stop-and-go!
Why did the bus take a vacation?
It was tired of being driven around!
What did the bus conductor say to the egg?
“Scramble inside.”
Why did the bus apply for a job?
It wanted to quit being a vehicle and start carrying its own weight!
Why was the bus feeling stressed?
Because its schedule was too tight!
How does a bus flirt?
“Is this seat taken?”
Why did the bus stay calm during the test?
Because it knew the routes by heart!
What do you call a sleeping bus?
A snooze cruise!
How do you compliment a bus driver?
“Wheel done!”
Why did the bus go to the paint shop?
It wanted a new route of color!
Why was the bus good at soccer?
Because it’s used to kicking things off!
Bus Jokes for Kids
Little jokesters, assemble! It’s a busload of kiddie-approved fun. Join us for a laughter-filled journey suitable for the smaller but equally mighty audience.
How do ghosts get to school?
They ride the ghoul bus.
Why shouldn’t you run in front of a bus?
You’ll get tired.
Why shouldn’t you run behind a bus?
You’ll get exhausted.
Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school?
It wouldn’t fit through the doors.
What kind of bus can sail across an ocean?
A Columbus.
Why was the bus driver sad?
Everyone was talking behind their back.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
How does a mollusk get to school?
It rides the octo-bus.
What do you call a self-driving bus?
Autono-bus.
Why did the bus use fuel made from herbs?
To make sure it’s on thyme.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus.
What do dragons call a bus full of people?
Meals on wheels.
Why did the bat miss the bus?
It hung around for too long.
How do bees get to work?
They take the buzz.
Which job will fire you for going the extra mile?
A bus driver.
Why did the bus stop?
To let the passengers off.
Where do buses wait for students?
On cam-bus.
What’s a bus driver’s favorite instrument?
A bus-soon.
What are a bus driver’s two favorite sports?
Bus-ball and bus-ketball.
What kind of rice do bus drivers eat?
Bus-mati rice.
Where do bus companies save important information?
In a data-bus.
What do you call a person who promotes buses?
An am-bus-sador.
What do you call a bus concept that’ll never happen?
Im-bus-sible.
What’s the most important part of an electric bus?
The conductor.
What do you call a bus without unique features?
Bus-ic.
Where do bus drivers go on vacation?
Bus-ton, Massachusetts.
What do you get when you cross a bus with a Greek god?
Bus-eidon.
Where do bus drivers love to get ice cream?
Bus-kin-Robbins.
How do elves get to school?
They ride the minibus.
What’s a superhero’s favorite bus?
Bus Lightyear.
What do you call bus drivers that enjoy hanging out?
Bus friends.
What did the bus driver eat for breakfast?
A bus-cuit.
What do you say to a bus driver after they retire?
Bus wishes.
What’s a bus driver’s favorite shape?
A rhom-bus.
What do you get the first time you ride a bus?
A sylla-bus.
Why did the bus driver take time off?
To find their pur-bus.
Where do crabs wait for buses?
At the bus-tacean.
How do skeletons get to school?
They take the skull bus.
Bus Jokes and Puns
Steer into pun paradise with our collection of bus jokes and puns. Get ready for a lighthearted journey where every turn brings a new twist of humor.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? He lost his drive.
Did you hear about the bus that went out of control? It couldn’t steer itself in the right direction.
What did the bus driver say to the unruly passengers? “You’re driving me round the bend!”
How do bus drivers communicate? Through bus-ted signals.
What did the bus driver say to the pencil? “Get on board, we need to draw the line.”
Why do buses make great comedians? They always come with a lot of punchlines.
What do you call a bus that tells jokes? A funny-bus.
How do you recognize an extroverted bus? It’s always open for conversation.
Why was the double-decker bus sad? It had too many ups and downs in life.
How do trees get on the bus? They root for a free ride.
Why are buses so good at basketball? They know how to slam dunk-leton.
What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? “Highway to the Danger Zone” by Kenny Travolta.
Why don’t buses get invited to parties? They always arrive early and spoil the surprise.
How do you make a bus float? Add two scoops of ice cream and a root beer truck.
What did the bus driver say to the lost passenger? “You’ve got to take a ride turn!”
Why do buses never want to join the gym? They are already well-rounded.
What’s a bus’s favorite game to play? Passenger Manifest-ination.
Why did the bus driver refuse to slow down? He couldn’t resist the appeal of Fast & Furious.
How do you fix a broken bus? With a cl-ENGINE-er.
What kind of car does a bus like to date? Another bus, because they have a great “bus-schedule”.
Why did the bus driver lose his job? He couldn’t stop hitting the brakes!
The bus driver asked the passenger if they wanted a ticket, and they replied, “No thanks, I’m already on board!”
What do you call a bus that can play music? A concert-haul!
Why did the school bus become an actor? It wanted to be a double-decker star!
The bus driver never gives up on his dreams because he’s always driven!
Why don’t buses ever say “excuse me”? They prefer “ex-bus me!”
The bus driver took a picture of himself as a joke and captioned it: “Just taking a bus selfie!
What did the bus say to the incoming passengers? “Long time no seat!”
Traveling by bus is exhausting because it’s just a lot of stop-and-go-metry!
Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They’re always surrounded by passengers!
What do you call a bus that likes to argue? A disputa-bus!
The bus driver is always up for challenges because he’s wheel-y competitive!
Why did the bus take a detour? It wanted to go on an adventuresome route!
The bus felt guilty after forgetting to stop for a passenger, so it offered a sincere bus-pology!
What’s a bus’s favorite movie genre? Suspense-thrillers!
Why do buses always seem so calm and collected? Because they have lots of bus-tediers!
The bus decided to enroll in cooking classes, but it didn’t know how to use bus-matic tools!
What do you call a bus with a great sense of humor? A funny bus-iness!
The bus driver always tells jokes while driving because he wants to keep the atmosphere light!
Why did the bus driver get in a fight with a neighbor? They were both claiming the last parking spot!
Final Thoughts
And with that final punchline, our collection of bus jokes comes to a temporary halt.
But worry not – the laughter is perpetual! Take these jokes about buses, not just as words on a page but as your arsenal of happiness on every bus adventure.
The next time you find yourself at a bus stop or on board, strike up a conversation with a joke.
Which bus joke had you laughing the hardest? Share your favorite, or drop an emoji to express your reaction!
Enjoy the bus ride!
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