As the great Captain Kirk once said, “Boldly go where no one has gone before.”
In the vast universe of humor, our exploration knows no bounds.
These Star Trek jokes are not just a diversion; they are a cosmic connection, transcending star systems to unite us in the universal language of mirth.
Join us on this interstellar journey where the final frontier is a canvas for laughter painted with the brightest hues of hilarity.
Let’s go over these jokes about Star Trek now.
Best Star Trek Jokes
Embark on a quest for the best Star Trek humor. Our collection of the Best Star Trek Jokes guarantees a warp-speed journey through the wittiest quips and punchlines. Prepare for an unforgettable voyage into the galaxy of laughter.
If Spock has pointy ears, then what does Scotty have?
Engineers!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch that made them red and itchy?
Chicken Spocks!
How do you stop yourself from falling out of a Bird of Prey?
You have to Klingon!
Did you hear about the Klingon’s plan to wrap the Enterprise in silver paper?
Luckily, the plan was foiled!
When Star Trek fans go to a convention, they always get a gift.
It’s called the enter prize!
I accidentally went to a Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca from Star Wars,
What a Wookie mistake!
A Klingon and a red shirt get into a fight; the Klingon misses every shot, but the red shirt dies anyway!
How do you say where is the bathroom in Klingon?
nuqDaq ‘oH puchpa”e’
The Star Trek crew couldn’t use the internet outside of WiFi range.
They didn’t have commander data with them.
What does every Star Trek fan ask for from a mobile network?
Unlimited Data.
If I have a son I will name him Data, after Mr.Data from Star Trek.
If it’s a girl, we’ll pronounce it Data.
Lessons learned from Star Trek: Nemesis.
Always remember to backup your Data.
What did Mr. Spock find in Captain Kirk’s toilet?
The Captain’s Log!
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business…
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
What would Captain Kirk be called if he wrote poetry?
Prose and Khans.
What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation fetish?
William Shat-on-her.
Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?
Because he was fighting the Klingons.
What’s a star trek fan’s favourite drink?
Picardi and Kirk.
Captain Kirk told his girlfriend he was into scat…
…then he Shatner.
Funny Star Trek Jokes
Light up your funny bone with our irresistibly Funny Star Trek Jokes. Engage in a cosmic celebration of humor that transcends star systems and leaves you in stitches. These jokes are not just funny; they’re light-years ahead in hilarity.
Wat do you get when you cross a Tribble with a Vulcan?
A very furry pet that’s highly logical about shedding!
Why did the Ferengi open a bakery on the Enterprise?
Because he wanted to make some “profit”able treats and finally prove that “dough” is the universal language!
How does Worf take his coffee?
With honor, of course, but he prefers it “Klingon Strong” enough to wake the dead!
Why did Captain Picard go to art school?
So he could learn how to “make it so” on the canvas, and he’s been boldly painting ever since!
What’s the Klingon’s favorite game?
Worfleball! It’s like baseball but with more honor and fewer strikes!
When a Bird of Prey falls out, how do you stop it?
You just have to Klingon.
Approximately how many ears does Mr. Spock have?
There are three. The left ear, the right ear, and finally a final front ear.
How do you refer to a Cardassian on a sailing ship?
A sea-Gul.
What is the Borg’s favourite place to eat?
BORGer King!
Have you heard about Kirk’s upcoming wedding?
He engaged the Borg!
Have you heard about the Captain of the Enterprise?
He had a one trek mind!
It takes how many Ferengi to change a light bulb?
One for changing and the other for selling the broken one.
How does one become a Star Trek fan?
They Klingon.
On Vulcan, how are glasses called?
Spocktacles!
Two science officers getting into an argument is referred to as what?
Science Friction!
The Romulan crossed the road for what reason?
To conquer the other side!
The Borg crossed the road for what reason?
Because it assimilated the chicken!
Spock crossed the road for what reason?
Because it was logical!
Mr. Scott crossed the road for what reason?
Because his transporter beam wasn’t working!
How do you describe a Klingon with half a brain?
A genius!
What is the best way to get a one-armed Klingon down from a tree?
Wave to him!
The Enterprise had to be repaired at the garage. Why?
It needed new Spock plugs!
Can you tell me which breakfast cereal Sisko prefers?
Quarker Oats!
To change a light bulb, how many Borg are needed?
All of them, because they are one!
Hilarious Star Trek Jokes
Prepare for a laughter supernova with our collection of Hilarious Star Trek Jokes. Delve into a universe of wit and charm where every punchline is a celestial delight. Get ready to giggle your way through the cosmos.
Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans…
They always root for the away team
What do all Star Trek captains have in common?
They all have three ears.
A left ear.
A right ear.
And a final frontier.
Where do you keep your badge at a Star Trek convention?
On a Lanyard Nimoy.
Where do Star Trek fans work out?
At the He’s Dead Gym.
Have you heard about the new Star Trek Christmas movie?
It’s The Wreath of Khan.
I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.
It was a Wookie mistake.
A storm trooper and a red shirt are in a room.
The storm trooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.
The red shirt dies anyway.
My wife said she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek.
So I said, “Number Two, make it so!”
My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships.
And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.
I’m a bipolar Star Trek fan.
I just went to the hospital to have my dilithium level checked.
An Avatar: The Last Airbender and Star Trek crossover?
ATLAST!
I like Star Trek…
…But it has its’ pros and Khans!
The creator of Star Trek was renowned for emptying his bowels in obscure places.
He would boldly go where no man had gone before.
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention
They call it the enter prize.
I can’t decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation…
I guess you could say I’m stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!
What’s Gillian McKeith’s favourite part of Star Trek.
Captain’s Log.
Ricardo Montalban struggled to find acting roles after “Star Trek 2.”
Nobody wanted to hire an ex-Khan.
Joke I just thought up: What did the orphan say to the Star Trek fan thinking of adopting?
Bring me up, Scotty!
I don’t always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans…
but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies.
Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?
Cause William Shatner Coffee.
Short Star Trek Jokes
In the realm of quick-witted quips, our Short Star Trek Jokes reign supreme. Unleash the power of brevity with jokes that pack a punch in just a few parsecs. Short, sweet, and cosmically funny.
What’s the difference between a Klingon and a grapefruit?
One screams “Qapla’!” when you squeeze it.
Why did Data cross the road?
To prove he could.
How many Ferengi engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to argue over who gets to rub it for luck.
What’s the Vulcan motto?
Live long and prosper… maybe.
Why did Worf get banned from poker night?
He kept folding chairs.
What’s the Borg’s favorite karaoke song?
“We Are Family.”
How do you know Geordi is lying?
His lips are moving.
How many replicators does it take to make a sandwich?
None, but it’ll need a good therapist afterwards.
Why did the Tribble cross the galaxy?
To find its mother… wait, no, that’s a different joke.
What did Captain Kirk say after he accidentally beamed himself into the engine room?
“Scotty, beam me up a new pair of pants!”
What do you call a Klingon who loses his temper in a library?
A hush-Qa’pla’!
What’s the difference between a Romulan and a chameleon?
A chameleon can blend in.
What’s Picard’s least favorite Shakespeare play?
Much Ado About Naussicaans.
Why did the holodeck malfunction?
It got a case of the seven-year itch.
How do you know Worf is telling a joke?
His face cracks.
What’s the best way to make a Ferengi blush?
Hold up a mirror and say, “There goes your future profits!”
Why did Q join the stand-up comedy circuit?
He needed a new way to mess with humanity.
What do you call a Vulcan with insomnia?
A logic sheep.
What did Spock say when he saw a Romulan decloak?
“Oh, there you are again.”
What’s the fastest way to get a promotion on the Enterprise?
Get assimilated by the Borg.
Star Trek Jokes One Liners
Boldly experience the hilarity of succinct wit with our Star Trek Jokes One Liners. Each joke is a comedic photon torpedo, delivering laughter in the most efficient and side-splitting manner possible.
You think you’re evolved because you have warp drive? I can snap my fingers and turn you all into salamanders!
Data: I have analyzed humor and determined that the following statement is objectively funny: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.”
Picard: Engage! … Wait, wrong button. Make it so!
Image of Captain Picard from Star TrekOpens in a new window.
Worf: Today is a good day to die… especially if it gets me out of another Shakespeare recital.
McCoy: I’m a doctor, Jim, not a miracle worker! But I can prescribe you some shut-up pills for Wesley.
Geordi: My visor can see through walls, but it still can’t figure out what’s going on in Wesley’s head.
Riker: Beam me up, Scotty! And this time, please not the transporter room ceiling.
Troi: I’m sensing strong emotions from Captain Picard… mostly annoyance at Wesley.
Crusher: Nurse Ogawa, another Red Alert headache for the Captain? Just tell him it’s just another malfunctioning holodeck program.
Guinan: Qapla’? Don’t mind Worf, he’s just practicing his stand-up routine.
Scotty: I cannae change the laws of physics, Captain, but I can make the warp core sing “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Seven of Nine: I have assimilated all human humor. Now, please explain this “knock-knock” joke.
Bashir: Quark, I’m prescribing you a new therapy: one hour of listening to opera with Worf singing along.
Jadzia Dax: The Tribbles are multiplying again? Don’t worry, Worf, I have a solution involving a bat’leth and a very small transporter setting.
Garak: So, Captain, did you enjoy my latest novel? It’s a heartwarming tale about a tailor who falls in love with a replicator.
Odo: I have apprehended the perpetrator. It was the potted plant in Engineering. Seems it had a gambling debt with Quark.
Neelix: Today’s special on the mess hall menu: replicated Klingon gagh! Don’t worry, it’s been safety-rated… mostly.
Paris: Tom, remind me again why I agreed to fly this shuttle with Neelix as navigator?
Kes: Captain, I think I’ve discovered a new planet entirely made of… chocolate!
Chakotay: The Kazon are attacking! Prepare to repel them… with interpretive dance!
Kim: Ensign Kim reporting for duty, sir. Ready to solve any problem, no matter how small. Even if it involves filing 10,000 TPS reports.
Tuvok: Captain, my meditation has revealed a disturbing truth: Wesley is secretly plotting to take over the ship.
Torres: Don’t mess with the Chief, people. She can weld a mean subspace antenna and sing karaoke like a Klingon opera star.
Archer: Engage! And someone hand me my phaser rifle. These Xindi aren’t going to terraform Earth without a fight.
Sisko: Prophets, give me strength. Dealing with Bajoran politics is harder than battling the Dominion.
Clean Star Trek Jokes
Embark on a family-friendly journey through the cosmos of humor with our collection of Clean Star Trek Jokes. These jokes are as pure as dilithium crystals, ensuring laughter without any warp-speed bumps.
Why did the Borg go to therapy?
They had assimilation issues.
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Three – a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear.
Why don’t Starfleet officers ever gossip?
Because they know how to keep things under wraps.
What’s a Ferengi’s favorite type of music?
Gold records.
How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb is logical and will repair itself.
Why did the Starfleet officer bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
What did Captain Picard say to the barista?
“Tea, Earl Grey, hot.”
Why do Klingons never play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you scream “Qapla’!” every time you find someone.
Why was Data a terrible stand-up comedian?
Because he couldn’t grasp human emotions.
How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. Resistance is futile.
Why did the redshirt go to therapy?
He had too many unresolved issues.
How do you know when Spock is lying?
His ears are not the only thing that’s illogical.
Why did the Klingon bring a pillow to the battle?
To have a soft landing when he got knocked out.
Why don’t Starfleet officers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the captain’s log.
What’s a Ferengi’s favorite fruit?
Profit-berries.
Why did the Borg refuse to play cards?
They considered it irrelevant.
What do you call a Klingon who’s good at math?
An algebra’K.
Why did Captain Picard become a gardener?
He wanted to make it so plants would grow.
Why did the Starfleet officer bring a red marker to the mission briefing?
To mark important points.
Why did the Vulcan go to the comedy club?
To study the humans’ sense of humor.
Why do Starfleet captains make good detectives?
They always follow the prime directive.
What’s Worf’s favorite game show?
Wheel of Fortune, because it has a Klingon!
Why did the Tribble apply for a job at the bakery?
It wanted to be kneaded.
What’s a Ferengi’s favorite board game?
Monopoly, because it involves acquiring property.
Why did the Borg go to school?
To improve their assimilation skills.
Dirty Star Trek Jokes
For those who prefer humor with a bit of warp in it, our Dirty Star Trek Jokes are ready to push the boundaries. Brace yourself for an cosmic ride that’s sure to make you blush…or burst into laughter.
What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
My conservative Christian parents sent me to one of those massive youth group events that celebrates how cool it is to be a virgin
Joke’s on them, I went to the Star Trek convention next door instead
Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?
Dad: Cause it’s the future son
Anomalous heat reading off the starboard bow, setting an intercept course!
I’ll chase you ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares Maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give you up!
So Lieutenant. How about I show the meaning of Torpedo – full spread?
Although it is illogical, I am afraid you have emotionally compromised me.
Hello, I had sensors scanning for sexy lifeforms and you where the only one they could find.
How about I slip into something more comfortable.. like these star trek voyager pajamas baby!
Star Trek Jokes for Adults
Dive into the more mature side of interstellar humor with our Star Trek Jokes for Adults. These cosmic quips are tailored for a grown-up audience, offering a hilarious journey through the saucier side of the final frontier.
Why did Captain Kirk apply for a job at the bakery?
Because he wanted to boldly roll where no dough has gone before.
What’s the difference between Star Trek and my romantic life?
In Star Trek, redshirts die; in my love life, relationships do.
How does a Starfleet officer party?
They go where no one has gone sober before.
What’s Captain Picard’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal. Make it so!
Why did Seven of Nine go to therapy?
To deal with her assimilation issues.
What do you call a Vulcan who just won the lottery?
Logical. It’s the only logical response.
Why did Geordi La Forge break up with his girlfriend?
He couldn’t see a future together.
Why did Worf start a rock band?
Because Klingon music is always on the “disruptor.”
What’s a Ferengi’s favorite adult beverage?
Quark-ila Sunrise.
Why did Dr. McCoy become a stand-up comedian?
He wanted to boldly go where no joke had gone before.
Why did the Borg start a landscaping business?
They wanted to assimilate new plants.
What do you call a Romulan who can’t keep a secret?
A failed spy.
Why did Deanna Troi become a chef?
She wanted to explore the emotional depth of flavor.
What’s the Cardassians’ favorite party game?
Truth or Detain.
Why did the holodeck malfunction during the poker game?
Riker accidentally programmed it for strip poker.
Why did Odo refuse to go to the costume party?
Because he was tired of shape-shifting all night.
Why did the Starfleet officer break up with the replicator?
It couldn’t satisfy his emotional needs.
What do you call a Bajoran who’s always late?
A procrastinatoran.
What’s Captain Janeway’s favorite cocktail?
A Warp Core Breach – it hits you at warp speed.
Why did Q get kicked out of the comedy club?
His jokes were too omnipotent for the audience.
Why did the Tribble start a jazz band?
It wanted to be part of the purr-formance.
What’s a Borg’s favorite pickup line?
“Resistance is futile; you will date me.”
Why did the time-traveling crewmember go to the therapist?
They had issues with the present.
Why did the Enterprise crew always carry extra shirts?
Because you never know when a diplomatic meeting might turn into a shirtless negotiation.
Star Trek Jokes for Kids
Introduce your young ones to the lighter side of the galaxy with our Star Trek Jokes for Kids. A cosmic concoction of age-appropriate humor that will have your little cadets beaming with joy in no time.
Why did Worf join the bridge crew?
He heard they were looking for a number one!
What do you call a grumpy Trekkie?
A Grumpy Star.
How do you know Geordi is telling a lie?
His visor twitches.
What’s the Vulcan motto for kids?
Live long and play fair!
How many Tribbles does it take to fill a bathtub?
No one knows, because they keep multiplying!
What did Captain Kirk say after he accidentally beamed himself into the kitchen?
“Scotty, beam me up a new sandwich!”
What do you call a starship shaped like a pizza?
A Star-za!
What’s the best way to make a Ferengi smile?
Tell them they found a free latinum bar.
What do you call a Romulan who tells good jokes?
Uncloaked and funny!
Why did the transporter chief get in trouble?
He kept beaming people into the wrong uniforms!
What’s the difference between a Starfleet uniform and a disco ball?
A disco ball reflects light better.
What did Data say when he saw a Borg cube?
“Resistance is futile… but maybe we can talk about it?”
Why did Worf get banned from the holodeck?
He kept setting the difficulty to “Klingon warrior” and destroying everything.
What’s the best way to make friends with a Tribble?
Scratch its belly (but don’t let it multiply!).
What did Captain Picard say after the ship hit a space rock?
“Red alert! And someone bring me a space dustpan!”
Why did Data join the debate club?
He wanted to learn how to argue logically, even without emotions.
What’s the fastest way to get promoted on the Enterprise?
Get assimilated by the Borg… and then defect back to Starfleet!
What did the transporter chief say after beaming someone into a wall?
“Oops, that wasn’t the turbolift button.”
How do you know Q is telling a joke?
He’s actually being funny for once!
What’s the best thing about exploring space?
All the new friends you can make… even if they’re aliens!
What did the crew do when they ran out of replicator rations?
They had a Tribble stew… just kidding!
Why did the Borg stop trying to assimilate the Ferengi?
They couldn’t figure out how to make a profit from them.
What did Captain Janeway say after losing a game of poker to Q?
“Make it so I win next time!”
What’s the most important thing to remember when exploring space?
Never leave home without your sense of humor!
Why are Star Trek jokes so great?
They’re boldly going where no joke has.
Star Trek Jokes and Puns
Engage in a voyage through the cosmos with our Star Trek Jokes and Puns. These wordplay wonders will have you chuckling at the clever connections between space and jest. Get ready for puns that are out of this world.
Did you hear about the Captain of the Enterprise?
He had a one trek mind.
What do you call two science officers having an argument?
Science Friction.
Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?
He never forgets a phaser.
What is Commander Riker’s favorite hobby?
Sewing, because Captain Picard is always saying “Make it so.”
Why did Riker die from friendly fire?
Because Picard ordered “Fire at Will.”
What are glasses called on planet Vulcan?
Spocktacles.
Did you hear Kirk reciting verse at Warp Speed?
It was poetry in motion.
Why did the Romulan cross the road?
To conquer the other side.
How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?
Wave to him.
What did the first officer say when Captain Picard asked him why he let Troi win at cards?
Because I Riker.
Where do the Borg go to eat fast food?
Borger King.
Why does this Star Trek uniform stink?
William Shatner.
How does a Romulan frog stay camouflaged?
He uses a croaking device.
Why did Worf change his hair color?
It was a good day to dye.
What did Scotty say when little shards of ice began hitting the Enterprise?
“Captain, we are being hailed.”
What space illness makes you red and itchy?
Chicken Spocks.
What was the potato’s favorite sci-fi show?
Starch Trek.
Where does a ten-foot Mugato sleep?
Anywhere he wants to.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
Did you hear about the Klingon plan to wrap the Enterprise in silver paper?
Luckily, the plan was foiled.
Why did Spock cross the road?
Because it was logical.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Why was Captain Picard so confused when the android disappeared?
Because they’d lost their Data.
Why did the Enterprise have to go to the garage for repair?
It needed new Spock plugs.
What’s it called when a crew member on Deep Space 9 runs as fast as he can?
Worf Speed.
Final Thoughts
As we navigate the celestial expanse of laughter, our cosmic quest reaches its zenith.
We invite you, fellow cosmic jesters, to share your favorite Star Trek jokes in the comments below.
Let the laughter ripple through the galaxy, creating a celestial symphony of joy.
As we beam out from these jokes about Star Trek, may your days be filled with interstellar joy and endless cosmic chuckles.
Remember, the galaxy is vast, but laughter has the power to bridge even the farthest stars.
Live long, laugh often, and may your humor always be warp-speed!
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