Locked and loaded with humor, gun jokes present a comedic arsenal that’s bound to trigger uncontrollable laughter.
Our jokes about guns are not just shots in the dark; they’re precision humor, aiming for smiles and laughter.
Backed by the ‘Institute of Hilarity’ and acclaimed comedians, our collection guarantees an explosion of joy.
From love-struck bullets to kid-friendly giggles, join us in the firing range of fun.
It’s not just about shooting jokes; it’s about hitting the bullseye of humor.
Ready, aim, laugh!
Best Gun Jokes
Locked and loaded with the best in the business! We present the ultimate collection of gun jokes that’ll hit your funny bone like a perfect bullseye. Get ready for a laughter barrage with jokes vetted by the Comedy Commando Unit. No misfires, only top-notch hilarity!
I asked my gun dealer if he could recommend a smokescreen device.
He said he couldn’t right now, his business was under fire.
I heard there was a gun show in town, but unfortunately I couldn’t attend.
I guess I’ll have to take a shotgun to the face and miss it.
You know what they say about guns, the bigger the bullet the better the shooter.
I guess the same can be said for brains too.
My boss asked me if I had any experience with guns.
I replied, Yes, I know how to make them go pew pew.
My friend asked me if I had heard of the new gun that can see in the dark.
I said no, but I guess it’s a real night sighter.
I was trying to buy a gun at the store, but all they had were rifles.
I asked the clerk if they had any handguns.
He replied, Sorry, I only know how to handle long guns.
I asked my friend if he wanted to go shooting.
He replied, Sure, but I better gunto leave soon or I’ll be late.
I asked my wife if she wanted to go skeet shooting.
She replied, No thanks, I already have enough stress in my life.
My friend said he was going to make an apple pie and shoot a gun.
I told him that was a bit odd, but he replied, Hey, it’s all about the crust you shoot with.
My dad always told me to never point a gun at someone unless I planned on using it.
I always thought that was a bit overkill.
I saw a sign for a gun range that offered free targets.
I asked the attendant how they could afford to do that.
He replied, It’s just a small price to pay for good aimpression.
I was talking to a group of gun enthusiasts and asked them if they knew any good jokes.
They all responded with a bang.
I heard the gun range was having a sale on shooting glasses.
I guess they’re just trying to get a good shot at your wallet.
I asked my friend if he had ever been to a gun range.
He replied, Yeah, but I always feel like I’m shooting bullets into the void.
My friend said he was going to take a gun safety course.
I told him to be careful or he might accidentally shoot himself in the foot.
He replied, That’s okay, I have enough toes to go around.
I asked my neighbor if he wanted to go target shooting.
He replied, Sorry, I’m too busy trying to take down the NRA.
I guess he’s more of a political sharpshooter.
I asked my friend why he always wore ear protection when shooting.
He replied, I like to be able to hear myself think. I guess he needs his peace and bullets.
I asked my friend why he needed a gun.
He said, In case there’s an emergency and I need to make a getaway.
I guess he’s prepared for a real bullettime.
I was trying to convince my wife to let me buy a new gun.
She replied, I don’t know, I don’t really see the point. I guess she doesn’t understand the caliber of the situation.
I asked my friend how long he had been interested in guns.
He replied, Ever since I was a little rifle.
Funny Gun Jokes
Cock your laughter guns because we bring you the funniest arsenal in town! Our funny gun jokes pack a punch of humor that’s sure to leave you in stitches. Chuckles, giggles, and belly laughs – it’s a laughter ambush you won’t see coming!
Why don’t guns like parties?
Because they’re always the shoot-kill.
I bought a gun that was made in the Middle East.
It was an Arabian shooter.
A gun asked another gun out to dinner.
The response was, I’m already loaded.
The gun was upset after its performance review.
It felt like it was being shot down.
Why did the gun go on a diet?
It wanted to slim down its barrel.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised, just like a gun after it’s fired.
Why did the gun break up with its girlfriend?
She was too trigger-happy.
A gun’s favorite type of music is shot rock.
Why did the gun fail the test?
It couldn’t keep its cool.
I tried to sell my gun, but it was disarming.
I invited my gun to my birthday party, but it had a prior engagement: a shooting range.
I took a shot of whiskey with my gun and now it’s whiskey-sick.
The gun stopped working when I forgot to pull the trigger.
I guess the gun had a short temper.
Why did the gun become a teacher?
Because it wanted to give its students a bullet-point education.
Why did the gun stay up all night studying for the test?
It wanted to make sure it bullet-proofed.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
Itenticle.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Hilarious Gun Jokes
Lock and load your sense of humor with hilarious gun jokes extravaganza! Our collection is a laughter explosion, scientifically proven to cure the blues. Einstein once said, ‘Creativity is intelligence having fun.’ Get ready for an IQ boost in hilarity!
I wouldn’t trust that gun-slinger with my coffee order, he always misses a shot.
The ski resort had a strict no-guns policy, but nobody said anything about shot guns.
My friend’s new pet tower was so cute – until it started shooting out little toy guns at me!
Did you hear about the gun store that opened up next to the pottery shop?
It’s quite a barrel of laughs.
I thought the gun range was the perfect place to meet guys, but I just ended up shooting myself in the foot.
You’d think the gun store manager would be pretty trigger-happy, but he’s actually a very thoughtful, gun-toting gentleman.
Who knew that turtlenecks and guns went together like peas and carrots?
Well, apparently the Secret Service did!
Some people can’t handle the heat, so they decided to take up baking instead of shooting.
I guess you could say guns can be problematic… unless they’re hair guns!
The farmer always loved showing off his gun collection, even if it just caused a couple of his cows to have a holy cow moment.
My friend once told me he could cure my headache with his gun – I politely declined and popped some aspirin instead.
I went to the gun range to shoot some targets, but ended up shooting the breeze with the other patrons.
What do you get when you mix a gun-wielding pacifist and a quinoa-loving carnivore?
A real shoot from the hip!
He may have been a terrible shot, but every time the cowboy picked up his guitar, the ladies swooned and begged him to shoot from the hip.
It’s not often that an angsty teen’s love of guns turns out to be a shot in the right direction.
Every day the cat watched as the cowboy rode into town, silently begging him to holster his gun and play.
The local neighborhood watch group took their role very seriously, patrolling the streets with slo-mo running and toy guns.
My friend’s favorite perfume is called Shotgun – I think she missed the mark with that one.
Every year, the town hosted a guns vs. butter festival – needless to say, I skipped the baked goods and went straight for the 9mm fun.
The cowboy may have hung up his spurs, but he was still a dead-eye shot with that Nerf gun.
Short Gun Jokes
Size doesn’t matter when it comes to laughter! The short gun jokes are compact packages of hilarity, delivering instant joy. As Shakespeare would say, ‘Brevity is the soul of wit.’ Get ready for quick draws and rapid-fire laughs!
I have a shot in the dark of making these puns.
These puns are so good, they’re smoking.
I’m gunning for the top spot in this pun competition.
I’m not a gun enthusiast, just a pun enthusiast.
I’m not sure if these puns are my caliber.
I’m going to need a bigger clip of puns.
Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just here for the puns.
These puns are bulletproof.
I never had a shot at making these puns this good.
I don’t always make puns, but when I do, they’re bang on.
I think I need to take aim and fire off some more puns.
I’ve got a barrel full of puns.
I don’t enjoy guns, but I do enjoy a good pun chuckle.
That joke was a real bullet to the heart.
Lock and load those puns, we’ve got a long day ahead.
These gun puns are positively shot through with humor.
I’m like a sniper but with puns – I always hit my target.
I’m not packing heat, just a really great sense of humor.
These gun puns are aimed to please.
If puns were bullets, I’d be fully loaded.
Gun Jokes One Liners
The one-liners hit the comedy bullseye every time! Packed with punchlines sharper than a sniper’s aim, these gun jokes guarantee rapid-fire laughter. Join the league of wit aficionados as we explore the power of brevity in humor!
I told my wife she was drawing her gun too much.
She replied, That’s my aim.
He accidentally shot his foot when he was cleaning his gun.
Now he can only use his toes to shoot.
I’m a big fan of shooting skeet, but sometimes I feel like I’m just pulling someone’s clay pigeon.
The police had to take away the gun from the kleptomaniac because everything he touched he stole.
When the bullet missed his target, he said, I guess my aim was de-cocked.
He asked the person at the gun store if they had any ammo.
The employee replied, We have tons, are you packing heat?
Firearms are like puzzles, you never know which piece will fit until you shoot.
Why did the outlaw take his gun into the bank?
He wanted to open a checking account.
Marge felt threatened by the stranger and pulled out her gun.
Homer said, You better holster your weapon, woman.
Why did the bullet love the gun?
Because it was the perfect match.
His friend asked him why all of his guns had different names.
He replied, I like to personalize my bullets.
The cowboy was so good at shooting, he only needed a one-shot stand-off.
It was a quick draw.
The hunter complained, I can’t see anything through this scope, it’s deer-flecting.
Your aim is terrible, said the assassin to the hitman.
The hitman replied, It’s not the arrow but then wind that counts.
Hey, you have a little something on your shirt, said the gangster.
Oh, that’s just some bullet spray, replied the hitman.
You shoot like a girl, he said to the sniper.
She replied, Thanks, I usually take that as a compliment.
The robbers decided to hold up the gun store but quickly realized that the gun was on the other foot.
When the gun broke, the repairman said it was the trigger that let him down.
The thief was caught robbing the gun store, but he forgot to arm himself before he left.
I feel like the gun range is my happy place, said the shooter.
His therapist replied, Sounds like you’re shooting for happiness.
Gun Jokes about Love
Love is a battlefield, but our gun jokes make it a laughing matter! This collection of gun puns about love is cupid-approved for humor. Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or a love skeptic, get ready to be struck by love-induced laughter!
Why did the gun propose to the bullet?
Because they were a perfect match – they were both head over heels in love!
How did the shotgun express its affection?
It said, “I’m shotgun over heels for you!”
What did the rifle say to the target?
“You’re the bullseye of my heart!”
Why did the revolver go on a date with the pistol?
Because they wanted to have a barrel of laughs together!
How did the musket confess its love?
It said, “You’ve shot straight through my heart!”
Why did the pistol break up with the rifle?
Because it felt like they were just firing blanks in the relationship!
How did the gun show its devotion?
It engraved their initials on every bullet – they were “bulletproof” in love!
Why did the bullet propose to the gun?
Because it wanted to make sure they were forever locked and loaded in love!
What did the rifle say to the shotgun at the wedding?
“I’m rifling through my emotions – I’m so happy for you two!”
Why did the handgun write love letters to the shotgun?
Because it wanted to express its feelings in shot form!
How did the musket and the pistol resolve their argument?
They decided to bury the hatchet and reload their love for each other!
What did the bullet say to the gun safe?
“I’m locked and loaded with love for you!”
Why did the rifle serenade the shotgun?
Because it wanted to “aim” for their hearts with a love ballad!
How did the gun express its affection for the ammunition?
It said, “You complete me – together, we make the perfect shot!”
What did the revolver say to the shotgun on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re the blast in my barrel – let’s shoot for the stars together!”
Why did the pistol write a love song for the rifle?
Because they wanted to hit all the right notes in their relationship!
How did the shotgun know it was in love?
It felt a “shotgun wedding” of emotions every time they were together!
What did the bullet say to the gunpowder?
“You ignite the spark in my heart – together, we make a fiery love!”
Why did the rifle write a love letter to the shotgun?
Because they were barrel-y able to contain their feelings anymore!
How did the gun propose to the magazine?
It said, “Let’s reload our love and make every shot count!”
Gun Jokes for Kids
Lock and load the kid-friendly fun! These gun jokes for kids are laughter ammunition suitable for all ages. Approved by the ‘Comedy Parental Advisory,’ these jokes are sure to hit the bullseye of family-friendly hilarity. Giggles guaranteed!
The gun was always telling bad jokes.
It had a barrel of laughs.
Why did the gun go to the pawnshop?
It wanted to be re-loaded.
I tried to shoot a beer can with my gun, but it missed.
It must have had a bad aim.
I told my gun to stop smoking, but it still loved to shoot ’em.
Why was the gun always hungry?
Because it was looking for a trigger snack.
Why did the gun go to school?
To become a straight shooter!
What do you call a gun that tells jokes?
A pun-shooter!
Why did the gun break up with its holster?
Because it couldn’t handle the commitment!
What do you call a gun that’s afraid of heights?
A low-caliber!
Why was the gun always tired?
Because it kept pulling all-nighters!
How does a gun introduce itself at a party?
“Hi, I’m loaded with jokes!”
Why did the gun fail the math test?
Because it couldn’t figure out its caliber!
What’s a gun’s favorite type of music?
Bullet points!
Why did the gun get a job at the bakery?
Because it was good at muffin targets!
What do you call a gun that’s always late?
A procrastinator!
Gun Jokes and Puns
Prepare for a pun-tastic adventure with these gun jokes and puns extravaganza! Our collection is a fusion of wit and wordplay that shoots straight for the funny bone. Join us in the pun-derful world of laughter, where every joke hits the mark!
Guns aren’t the answer, they’re just the trigger.
Guns are often the last argument of kings–and the first argument of thugs.
They say a bullet never lies, but neither does a gun.
When it comes to gunfights, the best defense is a good offense.
If you’re not careful, a gun can really blow up in your face.
When it comes to guns, it’s not the size of the weapon that counts–it’s how you use it.
Sometimes, a gun can be your greatest foe–especially when it’s loaded.
Guns may be loud, but they can speak volumes when words fail.
Some people think that guns are the solution to every problem.
Personally, I prefer a more nuanced approach–like a flamethrower.
The best way to deal with a gun is to disarm it–both physically and mentally.
Gun control may be a contentious issue, but one thing is for sure: you can never have too many guns, or too many gun puns.
Sometimes, all you need to win a standoff is to have the biggest gun in the room.
Sometimes, when you’re under fire, the best thing to do is to hit the ground running… or just hit the ground.
When it comes to guns, the barrel doesn’t always point in the right direction.
When it comes to guns, I’m not one to shoot from the hip.
Just remember: guns don’t kill people, people kill people–but a gun can certainly speed up the process.
They say that guns don’t kill people; people kill people… But sometimes, the guns do make it a lot easier.
When it comes to gunfights, the most important thing is to have an exit strategy… and a really good pair of running shoes.
If you’re going to take on a gun-wielding adversary, you’d better be prepared to be quick on the draw–and quicker on your feet.
Final Thoughts
As we holster our laughter guns, let the echoes of joy linger!
The gun jokes have aimed to entertain and hit the mark of your funny bone.
Share your favorite shooting jokes in the comments below.
After all, as Winston Churchill once said, ‘Laughter is the closest distance between two people.’
So, let’s bridge that gap with humor and keep the barrels of joy loaded.
Don’t be a stranger – reload your laughs regularly with this arsenal of jokes about guns, shooting, and everything in between.
Happy laughing!
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