We’ve all been there – staring at our phones, hoping for a reply that never comes. Swiping left and right, only to end up back where we started.
No matter if it’s a job interview, date, or proposal, rejection is an unfortunate part of life we all must face.
As the great philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
While rejection may sting in the moment, the ability to find humor in even the most uncomfortable situations is a sign of emotional strength and resilience.
This collection of hilarious rejection jokes hopes to bring some much needed laughter to those who have recently faced rejection, by helping you reframe the situation and focus on the future rather than the past.
So, whether getting rejected from your dream job or left on ‘read’ by a potential match, hope is not lost.
Scroll through these jokes about rejection for a chuckle and remember that one person’s no is another’s wonderful yes just around the corner.
Best Rejection Jokes
Rejection is never easy, but sometimes humor can make it all a little more bearable. That’s where rejection jokes come in. These best rejection jokes are sure to bring a chuckle to even the most jaded heart. Check them out!
My resume is just a collection of nicely worded rejection letters.
My life is like a film festival, but with only rejection letters.
I tried to join a rejection support group.
They told me there wasn’t enough room.
If rejection had a face, it would be my mirror reflection.
Even my echo leaves me on read.
Even my trash can is too good for my jokes.
I joined a dating site.
My account was flagged as spam.
I got a fortune cookie. It was empty.
I went to a pet shop.
Even the parrot said, “Nope”.
I auditioned for a reality show.
They said I was too real.
When I apply for jobs, they ask me to bring my own rejection letter.
My dating life is like a game of chess.
I’m always in checkmate.
My social life is like a mystery novel.
Everyone leaves before the end.
Even my reflection in the puddle walked away from me.
If I were a plant, I’d be the one no one waters.
Funny Rejection Jokes
These funny rejection jokes are perfect for lightening the mood after a tough blow. Whether you’re the one doing the rejecting or on the receiving end, these rejection jokes are sure to make life a little more amusing. Give them a try!
I tried to make a puppet show.
Even the puppets cut their strings.
I tried to be a poet.
Even the rhymes wouldn’t rhyme.
I tried to make a wish.
Even the star fell from the sky.
If rejection was a job, I would probably be fired.
I tried to join a book club.
Even the books had no pages.
I tried to solve a riddle.
Even the question mark walked away.
Why did the astronaut feel rejected?
Because even space didn’t want to explore their feelings!
Why did the computer feel rejected?
Because it couldn’t find its “match” on the internet!
Why did the tree feel rejected?
Because nobody wanted to branch out with it!
Why did the math book feel rejected?
Because it was constantly divided and never multiplied!
Why did the loaf of bread feel rejected?
Because it was always getting the “crust” of things!
Why did the light bulb feel rejected?
Because it never got a bright idea!
Why did the soccer ball feel rejected?
Because it was always kicked around!
Why did the calendar feel rejected?
Because it felt like its days were numbered!
Why did the chicken feel rejected?
Because it couldn’t cross the road without being asked why!
Why did the dictionary feel rejected?
Because it felt like it didn’t have the right words to say!
Why did the basketball feel rejected?
Because it always felt deflated!
Why did the refrigerator feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody appreciated its coolness!
Why did the suitcase feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to travel with it!
Hilarious Rejection Jokes
Have you ever heard a joke so funny it made you forget about the thing you were upset about? Look no further than these hilarious rejection jokes. Whether you’ve recently been turned down by a crush or rejected from a job, they are sure to bring a smile to your face. So go ahead and laugh it off – rejection may sting, but humor is the best medicine.
Why did the umbrella feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody needed it when it rained!
Why did the tomato feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody thought it was the “heart” of the salad!
Why did the traffic light feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody paid attention to its signals!
Why did the phone feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to “ring” it up!
Why did the cow feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody appreciated its moooo-ving company!
Why did the toilet feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody gave a crap about its feelings!
Why did the balloon feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to blow it up!
Why did the paintbrush feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody appreciated its strokes of genius!
Why did the kite feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to lift it up!
Why did the train feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to choo-choo-choose it!
Why did the alarm clock feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to wake up with it!
Why did the cookie feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to take a bite out of it!
Why did the GPS feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to follow its directions!
Short Rejection Jokes
Rejected? Don’t worry, you’re not alone and these short rejection jokes are sure to make you laugh through the pain. So grab a snack, sit back, and get ready to have a good laugh as you scroll through this collection of rejection jokes. Who knows, you may even find a new favorite that you can use to lighten the mood when things don’t go your way.
I tried to start a rejection diary.
Even the pages wouldn’t turn.
I auditioned for a comedy.
They said my life was too funny.
If rejection were a color, I’d be a rainbow.
I tried to read a book about rejection.
Even the book closed on me.
I tried to join the Rejects Club.
They told me they were at capacity.
I’m like a cancelled TV show.
No one wants to see another season.
I tried to solve a crossword.
Even the words were like, “Not you again”.
If I were a ship, I’d be the Titanic.
My love life is like a book, but with only rejection letters.
I entered a talent show.
Even the stage lights went out.
I tried to climb the ladder of success.
It fell down.
Even my imaginary friend said, “Let’s just be acquaintances”.
When I sing, even the radio changes station.
Even my own dreams wake up from me.
Even the emojis on my phone reject me with a thumbs down.
Rejection Jokes One Liners
If you’re looking for a good laugh to make light of rejection, you’ve come to the right place. These one liners rejection jokes may not change the outcome of your failed attempt, but they will definitely make you feel better. So, sit back, and get ready to laugh at some of the funniest rejection jokes out there.
If I were a letter, I’d be “R” because I’m always in “Rejection”.
Even my mirror gives me the cold shoulder.
I’ve been rejected so many times, my middle name is “Thank you for your application”.
I applied for the job of being rejected, but I didn’t get it because they thought I was overqualified.
I went on a blind date. She took one look at me and said, “I think I’m going blind again”.
I got rejected today. Even my coffee was like, “I can’t espresso how little I care”.
My mailbox is like a museum of rejection letters.
The only thing that swipes right on me is my credit card, and even that gets declined.
I’m like a bad science experiment.
I get rejected even by the laws of physics.
My dating app bio?
“Swipe right for rejection”.
I tried to write a book about rejection, but the publishers said, “We’ll pass”.
My love life is like a shooting star, it burns bright and then I get rejected by the atmosphere.
I’m like a bad art exhibit.
Even the critics walk away.
My rejection letters now come with a frequent loser discount.
If rejection was a sport, I’d be an Olympian by now.
My career as a comedian didn’t work out.
They said my jokes were too “rejecting”.
My diary is just a list of people who’ve said “It’s not you, it’s me”.
I’ve been rejected so much, my phone autocorrects “hello” to “no, thank you”.
When life gives me lemons, they’re usually accompanied by a rejection letter.
I’m like a faulty light bulb.
Everyone just gives up on trying to fix me.
Clean Rejection Jokes
Rejection can be tough, but humor always helps! If you’re looking for a lighthearted way to cope with a recent rejection, these clean rejection jokes will surely do the trick. Take a look!
I tried to paint a picture.
Even the colors ran away.
I tried to be a chef.
Even the stove wouldn’t heat up.
I’m like a bad sequel.
Everyone already knows it’s going to be bad.
I tried to solve a mystery.
Even the clues were like, “Find someone else”.
I went to a magic show.
Even the rabbit in the hat disappeared.
I went to a comedy club.
Even the laughter was silent.
Even the boomerang I threw decided not to come back.
I went for a swim.
Even the water drained away.
I tried to make a sandcastle.
Even the sand washed away.
I tried to write a play.
Even the curtains closed.
I tried to join a band.
Even the silence was too loud.
I tried to tell a ghost story.
Even the spirits said, “We’ve heard better”.
I tried to be a tour guide.
Even the tourists got lost.
My love life is like a concert.
But the tickets are always sold out.
I tried to be a teacher.
Even the chalkboard erased itself.
Dirty Rejection Jokes
If you’re in need of a good laugh after being rejected, you may want to check out some dirty rejection jokes. These jokes are sure to make you forget about your woes and leave you chuckling for hours. Just make sure to share them with friends who won’t judge you for your sense of humor!
When I was in law school, I was rejected by all fraternities because I was circumcised.
Apparently you need to be a complete dick.
My patent for a gold-plated butt plug got rejected.
Apparently Apple has cornered the market on expensive toys for assholes.
I got rejected from my job interview for coming 30 minutes early
The porn industry can go fu*k themselves for all I care.
What were the three rejected names for condoms.
The jizz mittens,cum kuisi,and the kidnappers.
A woman submitted a speedrun for “Fastest Female Orgasm”
It was rejected though, turned out to be a TAS.
Rejected porn titles.
The grim deeper
Hole-y enlightenment
Sesame street after dark
Johnny johnny needs his sugar and milk.
People are always making jokes about hitler getting rejected from art school.
But if I was in that one guys shoes I would have rejected him too.
The guy massacred 6 million Jews!
A young lady hands in an application form…but she gets rejected the first time.
A young lady hands in her application form.
She wrote “Prostitute” where she had to state her occupation.
The other lady at the counter quickly assesses it, and says that unfortunately, a prostitute is not eligible.
“Ok” says the frustrated young brunette, “how about I put down cock farmer?”
The other lady at the counter looks puzzled.
The young brunette clarifies: “Well, in the past year I’ve raised over 1000 cocks.”
I was having a bad case of diarrhea so I called in sick to work.
However, my plea was rejected
Apparently having a lot of shit to deal with isn’t a valid excuse.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED.
NOT LONG ENOUGH!
If you’ve ever been rejected by someone who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex,
One might say you were chased away.
An escort goes to the hospital
She is a few hours away from getting a heart transplant and quite nervous.
She asks the surgeon, “Doctor, what if my body rejects it?”
The surgeon replies, “Well, you’re in good health apart from your heart. What do you do for a living?”
She shyly admits, “Um, actually I’ve been working as a prostitute since I was eighteen.”
“I see… and how old are you now?” He Enquired.
“Thirty four – but may I ask where this is going?” She replied anxiously.
“Well,” said the surgeon after some thought, “if you haven’t rejected an organ for the last sixteen years, it’s unlikely that you’ll start now.”
What did Hitler say when he got rejected by the Academy of Fine Arts?
Mein Crafts!
A new stipulation which would have allowed medical marijuana to be prescribed for constipation was rejected in Congress today…
The Congressman’s closing remarks were “shit or get off the pot”
Rejection Jokes for Adults
From clever to witty quips, there’s something here for everyone to enjoy. So next time you face a rejection, remember that laughter is the best medicine. Share these jokes with friends, family, or even strangers to keep the good vibes going. With these rejection jokes for adults in your pocket, you’ll always have a reason to smile.
I tried to play a game of rejection.
Even the game said, “Game Over”.
I tried to play a sad song.
Even my guitar strings broke.
Even the stars spell out “rejection” when I look up at night.
I tried to open a can of rejection.
Even the can opener walked away.
If rejection were a meal, I’d be the main course.
I tried to make a salad.
Even the lettuce walked out.
If I were a pizza, I’d be the one that gets delivered to the wrong address.
When I try to make friends, they come with pre-written rejection letters.
I auditioned for a tragedy.
They said I was too sad.
Even my shadow refuses to stick around.
I tried to sell my ideas.
Even my thoughts went bankrupt.
I’m so good at getting rejected, they should start calling it “getting me”.
I tried to join the school of hard knocks.
They said I was too soft.
I gave a speech.
Even the podium walked away.
I tried to create a rejection app.
It crashed on me.
Rejection Jokes for Him
Rejection is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. And what better way to ease the pain than with a little humor? That’s why we’ve compiled these rejection jokes to help you laugh your way through those less-than-perfect moments with him. So the next time he hits you with a pick-up line that falls flat, just pull out one of these quips and watch as the tension melts away.
Why did the football feel rejected?
Because every time it tried to score, it got sacked!
Why did the coffee feel rejected?
Because it was always getting roasted!
Why did the potato feel rejected?
Because it couldn’t get a chip!
Why did the clock feel rejected?
Because it felt like time was always ticking him off!
Why did the TV remote feel rejected?
Because it was always being pushed away!
Why did the shampoo feel rejected?
Because it couldn’t make the cut!
Why did the pencil feel rejected?
Because it never got the lead!
Why did the baseball feel rejected?
Because it struck out every time!
Why did the ice cube feel rejected?
Because it couldn’t handle the cold shoulder!
Why did the hammer feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to nail it!
Why did the mirror feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody saw its reflection of beauty!
Why did the salad feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to toss it!
Why did the guitar feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to strum along!
Why did the sandwich feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to take a bite!
Why did the car feel rejected?
Because it felt like nobody wanted to drive it to success!
Rejection Jokes and Puns
Rejection is a toughest pill to swallow, but sometimes laughter truly can be the best medicine. Luckily, we’ve compiled a list of rejection jokes and puns that will surely bring a smile to your face. So go ahead, have a laugh and remember that sometimes the best things come from the worst rejections.
At this point, even rejection is rejecting me.
I told a joke at a stand-up gig.
Even the microphone walked away.
My horoscope told me I’d face some rejection today.
I said, “So, just like every other day then?”.
I tried to sell my rejection letters.
No one bought them.
I went to a psychic.
She saw a lot of rejection in my future.
I tried to get into the rejection club, but they said I didn’t meet their standards.
If I were a YouTube video, I’d be the one with more dislikes than likes.
When I say “I’m going out”, I mean “I’m going out to face more rejection”.
If rejection was a currency, I’d be a billionaire.
I applied for a job at the rejection factory.
They told me I didn’t have enough experience.
I’m like a bad book.
Everyone puts me down after the first chapter.
I asked my GPS for directions.
It said, “No route found”.
Even my own jokes walk out on me.
I’m like a bad song on the radio.
Everyone changes the station when I come on.
I’ve faced so much rejection that even my dog prefers the mailman.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, rejection is a part of life that we have all experienced at some point or another.
But instead of letting it bring us down, let’s learn to find the humor in these situations and turn them into moments of laughter.
Laughter is truly the best medicine and these hilarious rejection jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Whether you’ve been rejected by that crush at school, turned down for a job opportunity, or simply faced rejection in a different form, remember that there is always room for laughter.
We hope these jokes about rejection have brought some positivity and light into your day.
Take a moment to share your favorite joke with others and spread the joy. And don’t forget to share your own personal experiences with rejection in the comments section below.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I hope it has made you laugh or at least smile.
Let’s keep finding ways to laugh through life’s challenges.
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