In the world of bits and bytes, laughter is the best antidote to tech-related stress.
In this article, we’ve put together a hilarious collection of jokes about computers, making it your go-to source for techie laughs.
As Einstein once joked, “The universe and human stupidity are infinite. And I’m not sure about the universe.” So dive into the fun side of technology – it’s not just laughs; research shows it boosts your mood and brainpower.
Get ready to LOL with our stash of computer jokes that mix tech with humor!
Let’s make tech a lot more entertaining!
Best Computer Jokes
Our best computer jokes are like the superheroes of humor in the digital world. Get set for giggles and high-fives from your inner geek!
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?
A cursor.
Why was the computer so angry?
Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
Why can’t an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.
What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems?
A mirror.
Why don’t computers take their coffee with sugar?
Because they like it a bit “Java.”
What does a computer call its father?
Data.
Why do computers always seem so calm?
They have a lot of control.
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips.
Why did the PC go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Why was the JavaScript book always making fun of people?
Because it had a lot of callbacks.
How does a computer catch a fish?
With its net(work).
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse.
What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open Windows.
Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower?
The instructions on the shampoo bottle said: “Lather, rinse, repeat.”
Why don’t some programmers like nature?
Too many bugs.
Why do programmers prefer iOS development?
Because on iOS, there are no Windows or Gates.
What is a computer’s favorite beat?
The algorith-rhythm.
Why was the computer a good musician?
Because its memory was RAM-packed with tunes.
Why was the JavaScript code always lost?
Because it couldn’t find its roots.
Why don’t programmers like to go outside?
The sunlight causes too many glares on their screens.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A Dell rolling in the deep.
Funny Computer Jokes
Brace yourselves for a laughter rollercoaster with our funny computer jokes. Whether you’re a coding ninja or a tech newbie, these jokes are here to sprinkle some joy in your digital adventures.
How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?
You console it.
Why couldn’t the computer take its hat off?
Because it had a bad case of CAPS LOCK.
Why was the computer late to work?
It had a hard drive to work.
How does a computer apologize?
It re-boots.
What did the computer do when it was tired?
It went into sleep mode.
Why was the computer a great weightlifter?
It had powerful processors.
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website.
Why don’t computers get lost?
Because they follow their path.
Why do computers never fight?
They always accept cookies.
Why the computer was always stressed?
It had too many tabs open.
How do computers communicate with each other?
On their cell phones.
What does a baby computer call its parent?
“Data.”
What do computers like to do at the beach?
Surf the net.
Why was the computer so good at school?
It always had all the data.
How do you know if a computer is an Apple?
When it doesn’t have Windows.
How can you tell a computer is following you?
It leaves a trail of cookies.
Why do computers never play hide and seek?
Because they always hide in plain sight.
What does a computer eat when it gets hungry?
“Bites.”
What’s a computer’s favorite animal?
A RAM.
What did the computer say to the new user?
“Byte me.”
What do you call a computer that can sing?
A-Dell.
How do programmers make coffee?
By brewing a Java.
How do you know when a computer has been drinking?
When its address is in bars.
Short Computer Jokes
In a world where time is of the essence, short computer jokes pack a punch of humor. Quick, witty, and straight to the point – perfect for a chuckle on the go!
Why was the programmer always at the bank?
He wanted to check his balance.
Why do computers make terrible comedians?
They only know binary jokes.
What do you call a computer with a bad attitude?
A sassy drive.
How did the software developer die?
He couldn’t handle the Exceptions.
Why don’t computers pass English?
They can’t spell “check.”
Why do coders make terrible spies?
They always leave a traceback.
What does a software developer say after a meal?
“That was some tasty syntax.”
Why did the computer keep beeping?
It had a bad driver!
Why are programmers bad at relationships?
They keep trying to find their other “halo world.”
Why did the computer get kicked out of the club?
It wouldn’t stop spamming the DJ.
Why don’t computers go on dates?
They don’t like to be turned on and off again.
Why was the computer sad at the bar?
It had too many bad sectors.
What do you call a flirtatious computer?
A dATAbase.
Why was the computer cheap?
It had no value until you turned it on.
Why do programmers always know the time?
Because they always have a code o’clock.
Why do programmers love quiet rooms?
They hate syntax noise.
Why do programmers wear glasses?
Because they need to see sharp (C#).
Why did the software engineer go broke?
He lost his drive.
Why don’t programmers like to go to the beach?
There’s too much sandboxing.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because bugs are attracted to light.
Computer Jokes One Liners
Laugh with these jokes that are just one line long. They’re quick and clever, perfect for a good chuckle without a lot of words.
What is a software developer’s favorite hangout place? The Foo Bar.
What do you call a nervous computer? A bit anxious.
Why was the computer programmer arrested? For code breaking.
Why did the programmer drown? He fell into a deep learning pool.
Why did the programmer bring a ladder to work? To reach the high-level languages.
Why did the programmer go broke? Because he kept running out of cache.
Why did the programmer bring a map to work? He didn’t want to get lost in his code.
How does a computer keep fit? By doing regular byte lifting.
Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
Why did the programmer bring a map to work? To navigate the code base.
Why don’t computers sweat? They have cool fans.
Why did the computer break up with the internet? Too many bad connections.
What do you call a group of musical computers? A band width.
Why do programmers like cooking? It involves a lot of stirring (string).
Why did the programmer become a gardener? He wanted to grow a binary tree.
What do you call a computer with a good voice? Adele.
What do you call a computer that can play music? A disk jockey.
What do you call a computer with a sense of humor? A Sillycon Processor.
Why do programmers hate space? It takes up too much memory.
Why was the computer cold? It had a lot of “chilled” bytes.
Why do computers never get tired? They have endless energy and power supplies.
What’s a computer’s least favorite food? Spam.
Why was the computer a good detective? It could always get to the root of the problem.
I love the smell of my F5. It’s very refreshing
Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. It’s not stroganoff.
My dog ate my computer homework. It took him a couple of bytes.
My boss calls me “The computer”. Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to when left unattended for 15 minutes.
My Internet stopped working for 5 minutes. Met my parents. They’re nice people.
If made a car, would it have Windows?
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer.
A pigeon and a tropical bird were playing on the computer. The pigeon lost. Toucan play that game.
Set your WIFI password to 2444666668888888. When someone asks for it, tell them it’s 12345678.
I changed my password to “incorrect”. So, whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.
Clean Computer Jokes
Keep it clean with jokes suitable for everyone. These computer jokes are funny without being too much – safe for all audiences.
What is the spider such a good computer programmer?
It knows all about the web.
Why does the computer keep coughing?
It has a virus.
What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
How do you stop your laptop’s charge running out?
You hide its trainers.
What are laptops favorite snacks?
Computer chips.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
How does a computer eat computer chips?
With mega-bytes.
Why are elephants just like computers?
They both have lots of memory.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness!
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a computer?
Bits of plastic all over the floor.
Why shouldn’t you be scared of what you get when you cross a computer with a dog?
Its bark is worse than its byte.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
Because it was looking for a byte to eat?
Why did the computer go to the opticians?
It needed to improve its web-sight.
Why was the computer bad at tennis?
It tried to surf the net.
What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?
A screensaver!
How did the surfer break his computer?
He tried to surf the web.
What is an alien’s favourite key on a keyboard?
The space bar.
Who chases computer criminals?
A hacker-tracker.
Why did PowerPoint cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do doors, pianos, and computers all have in common?
They have keys.
Why was the computer late?
It had a hard drive.
Who did the computer call when it was in trouble?
A screen-saver.
How did the burglar steal the computer’s things?
It had left a window open.
How did the prisoner escape computer jail?
He pressed the escape key.
Which football team loves computers?
Leeds United.
Which of Cinderella’s friends is always on her computer?
Buttons.
Why did the keyboards break up?
They weren’t each other’s type.
How do trees get on computers?
They log on.
Why was the computer so chilly?
Someone left the window open.
Why did the duck put his feet in the computer?
He wanted webbed feet.
Why did the chicken cross the keyboard?
To get to the other site.
What do you call a policeman crossed with a computer?
P.C. PC
What does Steve Jobs like to order from McDonald’s?
A big Mac.
What do people who like waterproof clothing and Apple Geniuses have in common?
They like macs.
How did the computer escape when it was locked in the house?
He got a window open.
How did people know Bill Gates farted at Apple HQ?
There was no Windows.
Why was the computer proud of its son?
The son was a micro-chip off the old block.
What’s the woodcutter’s favorite bit of his new computer?
Logging in.
How many computer programmers are needed to put in a light bulb?
None, it’s a hardware issue.
What do you get when you cross a computer with a crocodile?
A mega biter.
What do you get when you cross a computer with a freezer?
Cold, hard data.
Why did WiFi marry the computer?
They had a connection.
Why does the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse.
Why can’t the boa constrictor use the computer anymore?
It ate the mouse.
Where do the coolest mice live?
In their mouse-pads.
What made the computer squeak?
Someone stepping on its mouse.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re scared of its mouse.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse?
I get a click out of you.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a flying carpet?
A mousemat.
Dirty Computer Jokes
Venture into the risqué side of the binary code with our selection of dirty computer jokes. Warning: Not suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution and a sense of humor.
How does a computer science major pick up girls?
Oh shit thought this was google
I told a girl my dick was like a computer
She asked if that was because it had loads of RAM and a big hard drive.
Oh, the surprise she got when she found out it was microsoft and full of viruses.
What’s Adolf Hitler’s favourite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
My girlfriend said, “Your penis is like a computer.”
“Why, because it is so reliable?” I asked
She said, “No, because it is Microsoft.”
A man and woman are in a computer programming lecture. The man touches the woman’s breasts.
“Hey!” she says. “Those are private!”
The man says, “But we’re in the same class!”
What kind of women are computer programmers attracted to?
BASIC bitches, obviously.
A husband and a wife were trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband said, “Put MYPENIS.”
The wife fell on the ground laughing because on screen was an error message…
“Error. Not long enough.”
Is your ass a computer?
Because I want to back it up to a 3 inch floppy.
What do computers and pooping have in common?
They both end when you logout.
Computer Jokes for Work
Inject some humor into your office routine with these pc jokes for work! Boost morale and share a laugh with these tech-inspired quips that’ll have your colleagues in stitches.
Why did the IT guy take a long time to learn how to make pizza?
Because he kept trying to troubleshoot the toppings!
What did the computer say to the printer?
“I’m not talking to you until you change your ink!”
Why did the software developer quit his job?
Because he couldn’t Ctrl-Alt-Delete his boss!
Why did the computer screen break up with its boyfriend?
It needed some space!
Why did the IT department take a break from solving problems?
They needed to reboot!
What do you call a group of computers playing instruments?
The Bandwidth!
Why did the programmer bring his laptop to the doctor?
It had a bug!
Why did the computer technician cross the road?
To get to the other side… of the motherboard!
How did the computer survive the storm?
It had a backup generator!
Why did the computer join a gym?
To get some exercise and improve its performance!
Why did the IT support specialist take a second job as a bartender?
He wanted to help people solve their problems one drink at a time!
What did the computer say when it ran out of memory?
“I need more RAM!”
Why did the programmers break up?
They couldn’t agree on a common language!
Why did the computer get invited to all the parties?
It was a great conversationalist!
Why did the computer scientist quit his job?
He wanted to pursue a career in AI-ctoring!
What did the computer say when it woke up in the morning?
“Ah, another day of bugs and glitches!”
Why did the IT guy wear a watch on both hands?
Because he wanted to be on time for meetings!
What do you call a computer that’s always losing its files?
A disk-aster!
Why did the programmers get lost in the forest?
They couldn’t find their way back to the root directory!
What did the computer say when it finished its project?
“That was a byte of work!”
Computer Jokes for Adults
For the mature audience with a tech-savvy sense of humor, our computer jokes for adults are here to entertain. Dive into a world where laughter and digital sophistication collide.
Why did the computer keep freezing?
It left its Windows open.
Why did the computer go to the bar?
It needed to upgrade its spirits.
Why did the computer go to the beach?
It needed some cache.
Why did the computer bring a ladder?
It wanted to reach the website.
Why did the computer bring a broom?
It wanted to clean its cache.
Why did the computer bring a map?
It wanted to navigate the internet.
Why did the computer bring a flashlight?
It wanted to search its cookies.
Why did the computer bring a notepad?
It wanted to take notes on its RAMblings.
Why did the computer bring a microwave?
It wanted to download some popcorn.
Why did the computer bring a pencil?
It wanted to draw some windows.
Why did the computer bring a calculator?
It wanted to crunch some numbers.
Why did the computer bring a camera?
It wanted to capture some screenshots.
Why did the computer bring a hammer?
It wanted to fix its bugs.
Why did the computer bring a screwdriver?
It wanted to tighten its screws.
Why did the computer bring a wrench?
It wanted to adjust its settings.
Why did the computer bring a level?
It wanted to balance its workload.
Why did the computer bring a magnifying glass?
It wanted to zoom in on its issues.
Why did the computer bring a telescope?
It wanted to see into its future.
Computer Jokes for Kids
Introduce the younger generation to the lighter side of technology with these kid-friendly computer jokes. It is fun, educational, and sure to bring smiles to tech-loving faces.
Why was there cheese in the keyboard?
The mouse liked a snack.
What do you call the woman who married the internet?
The wife-i.
How did the fisherman break his computer?
When he went fishing, he tried to use the internet.
How did the boy break the school computer?
His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net.
How did Granny get her head stuck in the computer?
She wanted to put her hair in a net.
Why don’t people like shopping on the Internet?
Their shopping trolly rolls off the back of the computer.
Why do people not like the Internet?
It has a huge e-go.
Doctor, doctor, I might be a computer?
How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was switched on!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a computer. You’d better get to the hospital right away!
I can’t, my cable won’t reach that far.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a laptop. You’re just run down, let me give you some medicine.
No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.
Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he’s a computer.
Well, bring him in for an appointment. I can’t, I need to use him to finish my homework.
Doctor, doctor, can I browse the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should always do it on a computer.
Dentist, Dentist, am I a computer? Why would you think that?
I have a blue tooth.
Have you seen the maths website?
Yes, it added a lot to my day.
Have you seen the whoopee cushion website?
I’ve only just got wind of it.
Have you seen the wind website?
Yes, it really blew me away.
Have you seen the train website?
Yes – it’s just the ticket.
Have you seen the cow website?
No – haven’t spotted it so far.
Have you seen the pins website?
Yes, I was really bowled over.
Have you seen the counting sheep website?
Yes, but it put me to sleep.
Have you seen the new hot cross bun website?
Yes, it’s my currant favorite!
Have you seen the cloud website?
Yes, but it went right over my head.
Have you seen the history website?
Yes, but not for a really long time.
Have you seen the science website?
Yes, it was pretty explosive.
Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o.
Why couldn’t the dinosaur play games on the computer?
Because he ate the mouse.
What happened when the computer geeks met?
It was love at first site.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won’t hurt a byte.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A Macintosh
Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
So it could surf the web.
Where do computers keep their money?
In a data bank
What’s the best way to learn about computers?
Bit by bit
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
How do computer programmers make extra money in the summer?
They take on part-time jobs helping campers get rid of bugs!
Computer Jokes and Puns
Embark on a puntastic journey through the digital realm with our collection of computer jokes and puns. These clever plays on words will have you Laughing in no time!
When a computer goes to the doctor, what kind of medicine does it get? An injection of byte-amin.
Why did the computer go to the gym? To get a byte!
How do computer scientists flirt? They use pick-up lines like, “Are you a computer virus? Because you have my software malfunctioning.”
What’s a computer’s favorite dance move? The Disko!
How do computer scientists deal with stress? They byte their nails!
Why did the computer keep sneezing? It had a virus!
What did the computer do at the party? It joined the microchip!
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!
What did the computer say to its photographer friend? “You have a lot of RAMory.”
Why did the computer bring a ladder to the party? To network with the cloud.
Why did the computer crash on the couch? It needed some downtime.
Why did the computer lose at poker? It couldn’t handle the RAMifications.
What’s a computer’s favorite food? Microchips!
How do computer programmers drink their coffee? With Java script!
Why did the computer go to art school? To become a graphic processor.
What did the computer name its dog? Tera-Bite!
How do you stop a computer virus from spreading? You vaccinate your WiFi.
What do you call a computer that can sing and dance? Adele!
I told my computer I needed a break. It replied, “Keyboard.”
Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth!
I asked the computer if it believed in love at first byte. It replied, “Well, I’m searching for my data-mate.”
The computer’s favorite type of music is disco because it loves the byte.
I decided to start a band called 1023MB. We haven’t got a gig yet.
What did the computer say to the frustrated programmer? “Reboot yourself!”
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screen shots!
The computer won at chess because it’s known for being a great byte.
I asked a computer if it could keep a beat. It replied, “Yes, I excel in rhythm processing.
The computer couldn’t stop eating chips. It had a bad case of byte and binging.
How did the computer reality show ideas get sorted? Through a byte-me process.
My laptop was getting old, so I decided to trade it in for a newer model. It was a Dell of a deal.
The computer went to a music festival but got thrown out. It couldn’t stop making techno logical errors.
I asked a computer to help me fix my car, but it replied, “Sorry, I’m just a software.”
Why did the programmer break up with his girlfriend? She just didn’t meet his conditional statements.
My computer made a terrible joke. It must have run out of “cache” to impress me.
Why did the computer always go on a diet? It had too many cookies stored in its cache.
Final Thoughts
And that’s a wrap on our computer jokes adventure! We hope these techie giggles brought some joy to your day.
Now, it’s your chance to join the fun! Share your favorite jokes about computers in the comments, or let us know if we missed any good ones.
Remember, in the world of computer jokes, your comments are like adding extra RAM to the hilarity. So, hit us with your best punchlines and keep the laughter rolling!
Happy laughing!
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