In the words of Victor Hugo, “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”
In the realm of air travel, where the skies become our transient abode, infusing humor is indispensable.
As we embark on this journey through the jokes about airport, rest assured that each joke presented has been carefully curated for its comedic prowess.
We aim not only to entertain but also to provide a respite from the challenges of modern travel.
Join us as we explore the airport jokes, ensuring your layovers are not just moments of waiting but opportunities for genuine mirth.
Best Airport Jokes
Welcome aboard the laughter express! Our carefully curated collection of the best airport jokes ensures a smooth takeoff to your amusement destination. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a joyous ride through the skies of humor.
Why don’t airplanes ever tell jokes?
Because they might just wing it!
What’s a TSA agent’s favorite song?
“I Will Survive” – they’ve seen it all.
Why did the pilot sit on a clock?
To kill time during layovers.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
What do you call an airport that only sells chips?
A “terminal” for snack enthusiasts!
Why did the baggage file a police report?
It got carried away.
How do you organize a space party?
You “planet” at the terminal!
Why did the scarecrow get in trouble at the airport?
It had too much baggage.
Why do airplanes always have great parties?
Because they know how to “take off”!
Why did the computer go to the airport?
To keep an eye on its “port”folio.
What did the airport say to the cell phone?
“You have a lot of baggage!”
Why did the flight attendant go to therapy?
She had too many “emotional baggage” claims.
What’s an airplane’s favorite social media platform?
“Plane”stagram, of course!
Why did the taxiway go to school?
To improve its “runway” of life.
Why did the luggage apply for a job?
It wanted to make some extra “travel” money.
Why was the runway so good at math?
It had too many “plane” angles.
Why did the airplane start a band?
It had a strong “takeoff” on music.
What do you call a group of musical airplanes?
A “flight” of harmony.
Why did the airplane sit in the shade?
It didn’t want to get “jet-lagged.”
What do you call a flying cab?
A “heli-copter”!
Why do pilots always carry a pen and paper?
In case they need to “jot” down their thoughts.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy?
Mars-mellows!
Why was the airport dictionary so thick?
It had a lot of “air” words.
Why did the airplane enroll in art school?
It wanted to learn how to “take off” creatively.
Why the runway was always invited to parties?
It knew how to “land” a good time.
Why did the baggage get lost at the airport?
It had “tag” issues.
Why did the computer start a travel blog?
It wanted to share its “byte”-sized adventures.
Funny Airport Jokes
Embark on a laughter-filled adventure with our selection of funny airport jokes. From comical check-ins to humorous security encounters, these jokes guarantee to turn your travel woes into chuckles and grins.
What did the airplane say to the airport lounge?
“I’ll be back for a “landing” session!”
Why was the airplane always calm under pressure?
It knew how to “de-pressurize” the situation.
Why did the baggage attend a cooking class?
To learn how to “pack” flavor!
What’s an airplane’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Rocky “Road” to the skies!
Why did the airplane break up with the cloud?
It was tired of the “misty” relationship.
Why did the Wi-Fi at the airport feel lonely?
It had no “connections.”
What’s an airplane’s favorite game console?
“Plane”-station!
Why was the airplane always in a hurry?
It had a “flight” to catch!
Why did the baggage wear sunglasses?
To look “cool” on the conveyor belt.
Why did the airplane start a cooking show?
It had a knack for “taking off” flavors!
What’s an airplane’s favorite romantic gesture?
A “wing”-maneuvered serenade.
Why did the baggage bring a map to the airport?
It wanted to navigate its “journey.”
Why did the airplane start a workout routine?
It wanted to “stay in shape” during flights.
What do you call a sleep-deprived flight attendant?
“Turbu-lazy”!
Why was the runway feeling confused?
It couldn’t find its “directions.”
What did the airplane say to the airport food court?
“I’ll have a ‘landing’ with extra ‘taxi’ sauce!”
Why did the baggage enroll in a dance class?
It wanted to learn some “baggage moves.”
What’s an airplane’s favorite board game?
“Aeroplane”opoly!
Why did the airplane bring a book to the airport?
It wanted to “land” in a good story.
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite fruit?
Air-anges!
Why did the runway apply for a job?
It needed a “run” for its money.
What do you call an airplane that’s been to space?
A “cosmo-plane”!
Why was the Wi-Fi at the airport so slow?
It was “air”-gumentative with the signal.
What’s a baggage’s favorite candy?
“Layover” bars!
Why did the airplane start a fashion blog?
It had a keen eye for “runway” trends.
What did the baggage say to the conveyor belt?
“You’re really moving me!”
Why did the airplane refuse to watch movies at the airport?
It hated “plane” spoilers!
What do you call an airplane that loves to cook?
A “stew”-ardess!
Why did the pilot bring a deck of cards to the airport?
To “land” some card tricks!
Why did the baggage go to the gym?
It wanted to work on its “carry-on” muscles.
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite app?
“Turbu-lendar”!
Why did the airplane become a yoga instructor?
To find its “center of gravity.”
Why did the runway break up with the terminal?
It needed “runway” to breathe.
Why did the baggage start a YouTube channel?
To share its “packing hacks.”
What’s an airplane’s favorite part of a meal?
The “in-flight” entertainment!
Why did the flight attendant carry a suitcase full of spices?
For a “seasoned” approach!
Hilarious Airport Jokes
Prepare for a bellyache from laughter as we present the most hilarious airport jokes. Our expertly chosen anecdotes promise to transform your airport experience into a memorable comedy show, making every layover a laughing matter.
Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport?
Because they haven’t set off a metal detector since 1989.
I got arrested at the airport last week…
Putin at the airport
Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk.
Customs officer: Occupation?
Putin: No, just visiting.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.
The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.
my friend was arrested for stealing luggage from airport, his trial didn’t last more than an hour
It was a brief case
At the airport today a man fainted and slumped over onto the luggage carousel.
He slowly came around.
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop making airport jokes.
The doctor says it’s terminal.
What kind of ice cream do they sell at airports?
Plain ice cream.
I was threatened today at the airport.
At the check-in the woman said “window or isle.” I said “window or you’ll what?”
There was a massive $20m gold heist at Toronto Pearson Airport this morning.
They’ll be doing a movie about it called oceans Eh-teen.
I’m so fat, that when I went through airport security they didn’t strip search me…
They burlesque searched me.
Coronavirus update: Everyone at John Lennon airport has been quarantined.
Imagine all the people.
I once petted an airport security dog hoping he’ll let me sneak in some weed
Got arrested for possession and bribery.
So earlier today I was at London Heathrow airport and a man in front of me collapsed on the luggage carousel 🙁
Took a while, but he was coming around slowly, though…
I tried suing the airport because they lost my luggage.
My lawyer keeps saying I’ve already lost my case.
What do you call an unruly, unreasonable passenger at Las Vegas International Airport?
A McKaren.
Angela Merkel arrives at the Passport Control at the Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris.
“Nationality ?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Odin is planning to take a flight, so he packs his bags and heads to the airport. One of the staff says “sir, you’ll have to keep your pet in the hold…”
Odin laughs and says, “no, this is a carrion raven.”
TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport…
The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking “Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?”
I replied “No, only guns.”
What’s all this nonsense about nothing flying at Gatwick airport.
My drone’s been flying about there all morning no problem.
A bad day at the dentist is better than a bad day at the airport.
Because a search for cavities sure beats a cavity search.
Short Airport Jokes
Short on time but not on laughter. Enjoy quick bursts of amusement with our collection of short airport jokes. These concise quips pack a punch, ensuring a delightful and time-efficient comedy experience.
Why did the baggage start a podcast?
To share its “journey” stories.
What do you call an airplane that loves sweets?
A “choco-plane”!
Why did the pilot go to the music store?
To find some “landing” tunes.
What’s an airplane’s favorite type of book?
“Whodunit” mysteries – they love a good “takeoff.”
Why did the Wi-Fi at the airport get in trouble?
It had “disconnect” issues.
What did the baggage say to the elevator?
“You always ‘lift’ my spirits!”
Why did the airplane get a ticket?
It was caught “speeding” on the runway.
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite genre of music?
“Takeoff” tunes, naturally!
Why did the airplane bring a camera to the airport?
It wanted to capture “mile-high” selfies.
What did the baggage say to the airport security scanner?
“Don’t judge me by my ‘cover’!”
Why was the runway feeling artistic?
It wanted to create “runway” masterpieces.
What’s an airplane’s favorite insect?
A “fly” – they can relate!
Why did the baggage buy a watch?
To keep track of “travel” time.
Why did the airplane get a job at the bakery?
It kneaded the dough!
Why did the airplane bring a flashlight to the airport?
In case it needed to “shed light” on the situation.
What do you call an airplane that’s a master chef?
A “flying saucer”!
Why was the Wi-Fi at the airport always tired?
It had too many “connections.”
What did the runway say to the airplane tires?
“You really ‘run’ me over!”
Why did the baggage file for divorce?
It couldn’t handle the “weight” of the relationship.
Why did the airplane audition for a movie role?
It wanted to be a “plane” actor!
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite type of tree?
The “boarding” tree – it has great branches!
Why did the airplane start a band with the clouds?
It wanted to create “high” harmonies.
What do you call an airplane’s favorite dance move?
The “wing” fling!
Why was the baggage always cold at the airport?
It was stuck on the “chill” conveyor belt.
What did the airplane say to the control tower?
“I’ve got my ‘altitude’ set on fun!”
Why did the flight attendant bring a pillow to work?
For “plane” comfort!
What’s an airplane’s favorite game on long flights?
“I Spy” with my “flight” eye.
Why did the baggage bring a coat to the airport?
It heard it would be a “baggage claim”ate night.
What did the airplane say to the hot air balloon?
“You’re quite ‘uplifting’!”
Why did the Wi-Fi at the airport get a promotion?
It had a strong “connection” to success.
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite subject in school?
“Air”thmetic!
Why was the airplane so good at solving puzzles?
It had great “air logic.”
What did the baggage say to the suitcase?
“Let’s ‘travel’ the world together!”
Why did the airplane bring a pillow to the airport?
It wanted to catch “fly” sleep!
What’s an airplane’s favorite summer activity?
“Kite” flying!
Why did the runway start a comedy club?
It wanted to “land” some laughs.
Airport Jokes One Liners
Experience the power of brevity with our airport jokes one-liners. Each punchline is a comedic gem, ensuring maximum amusement in minimal words. Get ready to savor the flavor of laughter, one line at a time.
I don’t like people who take drugs… For example: airport security.
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
A penguin walks into an airport… A TSA officer stops him and says “Penguins can’t fly.”
I recently got sick at the airport, my doctor says it’s a terminal illness.
What do you call a dying airport computer? A terminal terminal terminal.
Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte’s ride to the airport?
I felt kinda sick at the airport earlier… It could be a terminal illness.
Drugs I hate those people who take drugs. For example, airport security.
What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please
I got sick at the airport My doctor said it was terminal
I tried to sue an airport because of my missing luggage. I lost my case.
My doctor told me I had the airport flu. He says it’s terminal.
I fell sick in an airport…. ….it was a terminal illness.
All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled. Imagine all the people.
Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list…
Clean Airport Jokes
For a family-friendly flight of fun, indulge in our clean airport jokes. These jokes are as spotless as airport terminals after a thorough cleaning, ensuring a delightful experience suitable for all audiences.
Why was the airplane so good at soccer?
It had great “air” control!
Why did the baggage go to therapy?
It had separation anxiety.
What’s a flight attendant’s favorite dance move?
The “plane” shuffle!
Why did the pilot bring a ladder to the airport?
To catch a “plane” ride!
Why do airplanes hate rainy days?
They can’t find a “landing spot.”
What did the bird say at the airport?
“I’m winging it!”
Why was the passport feeling sad?
It had too many “borderline” issues.
Why did the baggage blush?
It saw the airport scanner’s X-ray vision.
Why was the baggage carousel feeling dizzy?
It was going around in circles.
Why did the airplane start a garden?
It wanted to “land” some fresh produce.
What do you call an airplane that’s been cleaned?
Plane-tastic!
Why did the airplane start a podcast?
It had a lot of “in-flight” entertainment.
What did the airplane say to the pilot?
“Don’t let me down gently, just land me!”
Why was the Wi-Fi at the airport so bad?
It couldn’t handle the “air traffic.”
What do you call a sleeping airport?
A “zzz-terminal”!
Why did the computer sit at the airport?
It wanted to catch some “viral” videos.
What do you call a group of flying musicians?
The “sky” harmonics.
Why did the airplane bring a backpack?
It wanted to carry-on some snacks.
What did the jet say to the rocket?
“You’re out of this world!”
Why was the airplane always happy?
It had a “flight” of fancy.
What do you call a frog that’s an excellent pilot?
A “hop”-icopter!
Why did the flight attendant become a gardener?
She loved “air”-ranging flowers.
What did the baggage say to the airplane?
“You’ve got my full support!”
Why was the airplane’s dinner always cold?
It was at “high” altitudes.
What’s an airplane’s favorite painting style?
“Air”brush art!
Why was the airplane running late?
It had “engine” trouble waking up.
What did the airplane do on its day off?
It took a “plane”-ning vacation.
Why did the luggage make a YouTube channel?
To share its “packing” tips!
What’s an airplane’s favorite game?
Hide and “sky”-k!
Why did the runway break up with the taxiway?
It needed more “space.”
Why did the flight attendant become a meteorologist?
She wanted to forecast “air” travel.
What’s an airplane’s favorite type of weather?
“Plane” and simple.
Why did the airplane start a fashion line?
It had great “takeoff” style!
What did the control tower say to the airplane?
“You’re cleared for a great day!”
Why did the airplane always have a pen?
To jot down “plane”-ful thoughts.
Why was the airplane always smiling?
It knew how to “lift” its spirits.
What’s an airplane’s favorite book?
“The Wind in the Wingers.”
Why did the baggage get a makeover?
It wanted to be “carry-on” chic.
What do you call an airport for rabbits?
A “hare”port!
Why did the airplane start a blog?
To share its “fly” experiences.
What’s an airplane’s favorite workout?
“Wing” lifting!
Why did the baggage get a trophy?
For its “baggage claim” to fame!
Why did the airplane apply for a job?
It wanted a career with a “sky” limit!
What’s an airplane’s favorite magic trick?
The “disappear-ing” act!
Why was the passport feeling confident?
It had all the “credentials” it needed.
Why did the flight attendant become an artist?
She had a flair for “air”tistic expression.
What’s an airplane’s favorite game show?
“Wheel of “Aero”fortune”!
Why was the airplane a great stand-up comedian?
It had perfect “timing” for jokes!
Dirty Airport Jokes
For those seeking a more risqué sense of humor, explore our collection of dirty airport jokes. Buckle up for an adult-oriented comedic journey that adds a touch of spice to your travel tales.
Two men at an airport
First man says, “I can’t find my wife.”
Second man says, “I can’t find mine either, what does yours look like?”
First man ” Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, what’s yours look like?”
Second man says, “F$$k her, we’ll look for yours.”
Two women were chatting in the airport lounge…
The younger one says “I must be jet lagged, I went to get my ticket to Pittsburgh and asked for a picket to dicksburgh”
The older one replies and says “I know what you mean, I called my husband to remind him to take out the trash and instead said ’you ruined my life you drunken bastard’”
A man walks into an airport and says “cluck cluck bacawk”
…and the woman says “no sir, this is the *check*-in desk”
An Israeli soldier lands on Heathrow Airport
During filling up the immigration form after name, sex, age etc. there was a section which asked, “Occupation?”
He answered, “No, just visiting.”
Airport Jokes for Adults
Take your sense of humor to new heights with our airport jokes tailored for adults. These jokes are crafted for a mature audience, offering a comedic experience that resonates with the seasoned travelers among us.
Why don’t airplanes ever get lost at the airport?
Because they follow the “plane” instructions!
Why did the airport always seem magical?
It had a ‘plane’ sense of wonder!
Why was the airport always on time?
It never ‘runwayed’ late!
Why did the airport go to the doctor?
It had terminal illness!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of bag?
A ‘fly’ bag!
Why was the airport always the life of the party?
It knew how to ‘take off’!
What’s an airport’s favorite type of maths?
‘Plane’ geometry!
What do you call an airport with a sense of humor?
A ‘runway’ success!
What’s an airplane’s favorite type of cake?
‘Plane’ vanilla!
Why did the airport join the circus?
It wanted to be a ‘plane’ acrobat!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of pasta?
‘Jet’uccine Alfredo!
Why did the airport always win at poker?
It knew how to keep a ‘poker plane’ face!
Why did the airplane go to the dentist?
It had a ‘cavity’ in the cargo hold!
Why did the airport never get in trouble?
It always had an ‘alibi-plane’!
What do you call a plane that’s about to take off?
An ‘air-portable’!
Why was the airport in a romantic movie?
Because every scene was a “terminal” affair!
What did the airplane say when it was stuck at the airport?
“I’m just winging it!”
Why do airports always win at chess?
They always know when to check-in!
Why are ghosts not allowed at the airport?
They fail to clear the “spirit” security!
What do you call an airplane that loves the runway?
A ‘terminal’ romantic!
What do you call an airport that never has any problems?
Plane sailing!
Why did the airport go to the therapist?
It had ‘baggage’ issues!
What did the airplane say to the airport security?
“I’m ready for my ‘pat’ down!”
Why did the airplane blush?
Because it saw the airport strip!
Airport Jokes for Kids
Make your little ones’ travel experiences memorable with our collection of airport jokes for kids. These light-hearted and age-appropriate jokes guarantee smiles and giggles, ensuring a family-friendly journey through humor.
Why did the airplane bring a pencil to the airport?
Because it wanted to draw a landing!
What do you call a pilot who doesn’t have a plane?
A pedestrian!
Why did the tomato turn red at the airport?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
How do you organize a fantastic space party?
You planet at the airport!
What did the airplane say to the pilot on Valentine’s Day?
“You make my heart soar!”
Why did the luggage go to school?
It wanted to be a suitcase!
How do you catch a squirrel at the airport?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What do you call an airport security guard who acts in movies?
A screen-er actor!
What do you call a bird that can’t take off at the airport?
Grounded!
Why did the airplane bring a backpack to the airport?
Because it wanted to have a smooth landing!
What’s an airport’s favorite vegetable?
The “runway”tato!
How do you make a tissue dance at the airport?
You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the airplane go to therapy?
It had too many emotional baggage issues!
What do you call a dinosaur at the airport?
A “pterodactyl” port!
Why did the pilot get kicked out of school?
He kept flying off the handle!
What did one suitcase say to the other?
“I think you’re the missing piece to my baggage!”
Why did the airplane join a band?
It had the perfect pitch!
What do you call a plane that’s asleep?
A “snoozer”plane!
Why did the airplane bring a map to the airport?
It wanted to find the quickest route to happiness!
What’s an airport’s favorite candy?
A “landing” strip!
Why did the luggage go to therapy?
It had too much baggage!
What do you call a bear at the airport?
A “bear”voy!
Why did the airplane become a chef?
It loved to “take off” the flavors!
What did one airplane say to the other?
“You’re really flying high today!”
How do you organize a space party at the airport?
You planet!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room at the airport?
The “baggage claim”!
Why did the airplane bring a ladder to the airport?
It wanted to board!
What do you call an airport that you can’t trust?
A “terminal”!
Why do airplanes never tell secrets?
Because they always take off!
Airport Jokes and Puns
Dive into a world of wordplay and humor with our airport jokes and puns. From clever quips to pun-tastic punchlines, this collection is a celebration of the linguistic artistry that can be found in the world of air travel.
Why did the airplane become a musician?
It had great “altitude”!
What’s an airport’s favorite type of humor?
Terminal jokes!
How do airplanes greet each other?
“Jet” acquainted!
Why did the luggage apply for a job at the airport?
It wanted to have a “baggage” career!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of sandwich?
A “plain” one!
Why did the airplane break up with the airport runway?
It needed more space!
What’s an airport’s favorite sport?
Baggage claim!
How does an airplane apologize?
It says, “I’m really sorry if I caused any turbulence!”
Why did the suitcase bring a calculator to the airport?
It wanted to do some “carry-on” math!
What did one airplane say to the other during a race?
“You’re winging it!”
Why was the airport so good at telling jokes?
It had a great sense of “terminal” humor!
How do you make an airport roll its eyes?
Tell a runway joke!
Why did the airplane get kicked out of school?
It couldn’t stop making jet noises in class!
What’s an airport’s favorite TV show?
“Lost” baggage!
How do airplanes communicate?
They use the “airwaves”!
Why did the luggage blush at the airport?
It saw the suitcase it was crushing on!
What’s a pilot’s favorite kind of party?
A “plane” party!
How do you comfort a crying airplane?
Tell it, “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this turbulence!”
What did the airplane say to the runway?
“You complete me!”
Why did the airport’s coffee file a complaint?
It felt like it was getting a latte harassment!
What’s an airport’s favorite board game?
“Sorry!” (For the delayed flights)
Why did the airplane get promoted?
It always rose to the occasion!
How do you know if an airplane is on a diet?
It can’t stop losing altitude!
What’s an airport’s favorite movie genre?
Romantic “landing” tales!
Why was the airplane good at making friends?
It always had a “plane” approach!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of music?
Aeroplane jazz!
Why did the luggage bring a map to the airport?
It wanted to explore new “territories”!
What’s an airplane’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Jet-chocolate chip!
Why did the airport break up with the computer?
It was tired of the constant “processing delays”!
What do you call a sneaky airplane?
Covert-flight!
Final Thoughts
As your laughter-filled journey through airport jokes comes to an end, we extend an invitation to share your favorite comedic moments in the comments below.
Laughter is a universal language that unites us all, and your stories can contribute to the joy of fellow travelers.
Whether it’s a humorous encounter at security or a funny in-flight anecdote, your experiences add to the collective tapestry of jokes about airport.
Safe travels, and may your future journeys be accompanied by the delightful soundtrack of laughter and humor.
Thank you.
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