In the words of renowned psychologist Martin Seligman, “Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul.”
Welcome to our collection of autism jokes—a carefully curated assortment that transcends mere humor, aiming to foster awareness and understanding.
As we navigate through jokes about autism, rest assured that each joke is a testament to the power of laughter in breaking down societal barriers.
Join us in this exploration, where wit becomes a force for positive change, proving that laughter can be a bridge to unity and acceptance.
Best Autism Jokes
Embark on a laughter-filled journey with our handpicked selection of the Best Autism Jokes. Each joke is crafted to entertain while fostering understanding and awareness, showcasing the power of humor in breaking barriers.
Do you know why children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism?
You have to be alive to have autism.
How many autistic people does it take to change a lightbulb?
“One, but what do you want me to change it into?”
How is being autistic a bit like being a photon?
Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.
What do you call an autistic kid with an AK-47?
Special forces.
Why shouldn’t autistic people work at nuclear power plants?
They don’t know what to do when they go into meltdown.
What do you call a stick with autism?
Autistic.
One day, a mother sends her son to market to get some groceries.
She tells him, “You need you to go to the store and get a gallon of milk. If they have avocados, get 6.
The autistic one comes back with 6 gallons of milk and tells her, “They had avocados.”
What do you call an albino hog with autism?
Pigmentally Challenged.
Why did the guy with Asperger cross the road?
Because he is a roadway construction engineer.
Little Johnny’s parents got mad at him for sleeping with the autistic girl next door.
He didn’t really want to, but they told him his first time should be with someone special.
A son says to his father “Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?”
The father replies “No son, you’re autistic.”
Roses are red,
I have autism,
That’s why I follow the teachings of Marxism!
Did you hear about the patient whose doctor just diagnosed him with autism?
He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
How do you annoy an autistic kid?
It’s simple, just tell them an autistic joke.
Have you heard about the movement that convinces people that vacuum cleaners cause autism in children?
It will be called the Anti-vacs Movement.
What do you call a person with autism smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Do you know that people always say that shots cause autism?
But shots are actually the cure. It’s called lethal injection.
A young couple has a nonverbal son, and after years of the best doctors, speech therapy, and counseling, they are forced to accept and adapt. They’re able to set into a happy lifestyle despite the communication difficulties, and life proceeds as normal for quite some time.
Then one day, as they’re sitting down to dinner, the now-8-year-old son takes a bite, lowers his fork, and suddenly speaks.
“It’s cold,” the boy says simply.
The parents are stunned. Then ecstatic. They swarm him with awkward hugs, bubbling over with tears of joy.
“You talked! Oh, I’m so happy…but of all things to speak as a first! Why this, why now?”
The boy shrugs, “Up to now, everything’s been okay.”
How do you catch autism?
Go to the special ed class with a fishing net.
Funny Autism Jokes
Experience the joy of laughter with our Funny Autism Jokes collection. Dive into lighthearted humor that not only tickles your funny bone but also contributes to a more inclusive and empathetic perspective on autism.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What took you so long at the autism march?
“We had to walk slowly.”
What did the teacher yell when a class full of students with autism wasn’t attentive?
“Pay Autention!”
What did the kid with autism do when he graduated from school?
He woke up!
Why should you never give alcohol to someone who’s autistic?
Because they’ll have flashbacks from when they were in the womb.
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?
That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick?
He’s a plectrum on the spectrum.
Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book?
Men are from Mars, Autism is from Mercury.
What do Autism Speaks and colorblind people have in common?
They both badly portray a spectrum.
What do you call a friendly ghost with autism?
Casperger.
Did you know autism is curable?
It’s called the electric chair.
Gender exists on a spectrum. Do you know what else is on a spectrum?
Autism.
What do you call a Jewish person with autism?
Auschwistic.
Isn’t it funny how many forms of Autism there are?
When they all make them look the same.
Why can’t an autistic kid play billiards?
He can’t pick up cues.
What do you call a bakery run by autistic people?
Call it “Special Kneads.”
What’s the difference between a thief and an autist?
Autist take things literally while thieves take things, literally.
What’s better than having paraplegia and autism at the same time?
Being Dead.
There is an autistic student who struggles with understanding sarcasm and social cues.
One day, while painting paper mache volcanoes they had made, another staff member advised the students, saying, “Don’t put too much paint on because it will run.”
The autistic student, not missing a beat, sincerely asked, “How can it run if it doesn’t have legs?”
What do you call a cannibal that only eats autistic kids?
Vegetarian.
What do you call an autistic Chinese baby?
Sum Ting-Wong.
What’s for dinner when a cannibal cooks up an autistic person?
Ass-burgers.
Who dated the autistic savant?
The autistic savuncle.
Why are autistic people always himosexual?
Because they can’t think straight.
What do you get when someone bullies a really autistic kid?
20 casualties.
What is the autistic kid doing lying on the floor?
His best.
Why are autistic kids good electricians?
Because they know how to light up a school.
Three autistic kids are sitting on a railway line.
The first one being an pessimist sees only the darkness in the tunnel. The second, an optimist, sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The third one being a realist, sees the train coming towards them.
And the train driver, being a socially responsible welfare activist, sees three super-easy targets.
What do you get when an Autistic child gets in a car crash?
Mashed potatoes.
What do you call an autistic person in the FBI?
A special agent.
What do you call a dance for autistic people?
A mental breakdown.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a public pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call cooking an autistic chicken?
A special recipe.
What do autistic people always order from restaurants?
The specials.
What do you call a story about autistic kids?
Veggie tales.
What do you call an autistic person who is swimming?
Drown Syndrome.
What do you call it when an autistic kid is being born?
Special delivery.
Why are autistic people so cool?
Because they’re fire retardant.
What did Sonic the Hedgehog say to the autistic boy?
“You’re too slow!”
What do you call an autistic kid making racecar noises while running down the hall?
Grand autismo.
How do Autists deal with school?
With a reeeeeeeeee-volver.
What does the autistic kid get on his exam?
His drool.
What type of laundry detergent to autistic people use?
Downy.
Where do autistic people like to hangout?
Downtown.
What cereal do autistic people eat?
Special k.
What do you call an autistic kid in an Iron Man costume?
Robert Downey Syndrome.
What do you call it when you get rejected by the autistic girl?
Chromozoned.
Why is God autistic?
Cause he lives in his own little world.
What do an autistic kid and a poet have in common?
You can stare at their writing for four hours straight and still have no clue what the f#ck they were talking about.
What do you call an autistic Asian?
A lemon.
Hilarious Autism Jokes
Unleash uncontrollable laughter with our Hilarious Autism Jokes. Explore a world where wit meets awareness, providing a refreshing take on humor while promoting understanding and acceptance of individuals with autism.
My Wife wore a “Vaccines cause autism” shirt.
She was insulted, punched and spit on.
Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!
Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism.
After all, you have to be alive to get autism.
“Mom, why didn’t you vaccinate me?”
“I didn’t want you to get autism, honey.”
“Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time.”
Why are vaccinated kids more likely to have autism?
Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead.
People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing…
A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
I installed anti-virus on my PC.
Now the damned thing has autism.
Vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism.
Because they’re still alive.
Vaccinated kids are much more likely to have autism.
Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead.
Unvaccinated children DO have a lower rate of autism.
Because they’re dead.
Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism?
Apparently it’s because of the unusually high Mercury content.
Anti-vaccinated kids show no sign of autism.
Because autism isn’t detected until age 3
Why is autism less frequently diagnosed in non vaccinated kids?
You gotta be alive to have autism.
Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism.
Because they’re more likely to be dead.
If I had a vaccine for every bullshit news article that’s been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook.
I would have autism.
My blonde wife is staunchly opposed to my kids having a vacation.
She’s convinced they cause autism.
Many top scientists are on the autism spectrum.
And that means that autism causes vaccines.
You know kids that get vaccinated are more likely to have autism.
It’s because there still alive.
I’m an anti vaccine activist, and didn’t vaccinate my children.
They’re all dead, but at least they don’t have autism!
You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism.
Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.
A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism.
Turns out autism is hereditary.
I was just told I’ve been diagnosed with autism
I’m not sure how to react to that
All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of.
You can’t get autism twice.
What do you call a puppy with autism?
aww-tistic.
I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn’t work…
Still doesn’t have autism.
You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism?
I predict it’ll die off in around three years or so.
It’s proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to get autism.
Because the ones that are unvaccinated are dead.
It has been proven that anti vaxers have a lower chance of autism
Unfortunately the main side effect is death
Why are vaccinated children most likley to get autism?
Because all the unvaccinated ones are dead!
I didn’t vaccinate any of my kids and none of them got autism.
None of them lived past the age of 2, but that’s beside the point.
Did you know that it’s been proven vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism
Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead
What’s worse than a child with autism?
A parent who’d prefer a dead child over an autistic one.
There was a 6th grader who transferred to my school and had green legs and autism.
He was put into a special knees class.
Not getting vaccinated can help you not get autism
Because you don’t show signs till 12-18 months of age
Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom’s depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.
There’s nothing wrong with me though. I’m perfect.
It’s proven that vaccined kids are more likely to have autism than the non-vaccinated ones.
A dead person can’t have autism.
It’s been proven that kids who are vaccinated are more likely to have autism
Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are already dead.
A new study shows anti vaxed kids never get autism.
They die before signs could show.
They were right the whole time. It turns out that un-vaccinated children actually are less likely to develop autism
Because they’re more likely to be dead.
Short Autism Jokes
In a hurry but craving a good laugh? Our Short Autism Jokes are the perfect quick fix. Enjoy bite-sized humor that packs a punch, leaving you with smiles and a deeper appreciation for the lighter side of life.
Why did the autistic child bring a ladder to the party?
Because they heard the punchline would be up there!
Did you hear about the autistic girl who could predict the weather?
She always had a rain-check!
How did the autistic person break up with their partner?
They said it wasn’t an autism match!
Why did the autistic person become a mathematician?
They could count on their fingers!
How do autistic people communicate with birds?
They tweet in their own language!
What did the autistic person say after winning the race?
“I’m on the spectrum, but I’m also on top!”
How did the autistic fisherman respond when asked if he caught any fish?
He said, “I’m just angling for some social interaction!”
Why did the autistic chef always excel in the kitchen?
He had exceptional sensory skills!
How did the autistic superhero save the day?
With their “autistic powers”!
What do you call an autistic comedian?
A joker on the spectrum!
Why did the autistic person become a beekeeper?
They thrived in a hive mind!
How did the autistic person react to the new gym membership?
They said, “Time to get fit on the spectrum!”
Why did the autistic person bring a magnifying glass to the party?
They wanted to “zoom in” on social interactions!
How did the autistic person feel when they found out they won the lottery?
They were on cloud nine, or maybe cloud 10 on the spectrum!
Why did the autistic person become an architect?
They loved building bridges to connect with others!
What fruit best describes an autistic musician?
A harmon(i)ca!
How did the autistic person react when they found out they were going to a party?
They said, “I’m all set for some asper-arties!”
Why did the autistic person become an astronaut?
They wanted to explore the universe and go beyond the social orbit!
How did the autistic person respond to an invitation to a dance party?
They said, “I’ll be joining the dancing queens (and kings) on the spectrum!”
What did the autistic person say when they found their lost keys?
“I guess my spectrum of vision is quite accurate!”
Autism Jokes One Liners
Indulge in the charm of brevity with our collection of Autism Jokes One Liners. Discover humor that transcends boundaries, leaving a lasting impression while fostering a positive dialogue around autism.
At what age does the average 4chan user find out they’re autistic? thREEEEEEEEE.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, and carbon? Because you’re AuTiSTiC.
Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick? He’s a plectrum on the spectrum.
My autistic 7 year-old battling cancer told me this joke while adopting a shelter puppy
What is slowly making a comeback? The autistic child i just insulted.
My mom told me I was autistic But I’m not good at drawing.
A grown man called me autistic today. Never talking to my psychiatrist again.
If you’re German and autistic? Wouldn’t you be auschwitztic?
What was the autistic kid on the floor doing? His best
I told my friend in Boston that I was autistic. He said so can you drawr me a Pictsha?
What do you call a mentally challenged rapper? Why a rap autist of course.
What do you call a group of autistic soldiers? Special Forces.
Autism Jokes for Adults
For a more mature audience, our Autism Jokes for Adults offer a delightful mix of wit and insight. Embrace humor that’s not only entertaining but also encourages open conversations about autism.
I told my son he couldn’t get a fidget spinner because his dad and I have tried so hard to make sure he didn’t become autistic… Unfortunately he died of measles a couple days ago.
A black man and an autistic man walk into a bar The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead.
Scientists discovered that unvaccinated kids are less likely to be autistic.
Because they are more likely to be dead.
A son says to his father… A son says to his father “Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?”
The father replies “No son, you’re autistic.”
I used to think my drawings made me autistic… it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
I let the autistic kid have my seat on the bus.
And that, is how I lost my job _and_ my license.
Why do autistic individuals excel at math?
Because they’re constantly calculating their social interactions.
Did you hear about the autistic chef?
He always thinks inside the bento box.
How did the autistic gardener organize their flowers?
With Asper-arranging skills.
Why did the autistic athlete become a track star?
They’re always running circles around social cues.
I decided to learn sign language for my autistic sibling.
Now we’re speaking on the same wavelength, literally.
Why did the autistic physicist love black holes?
Because they’re the ultimate specialists in spinning conversations into oblivion.
Have you seen the autistic stylist’s haircuts?
They’re so sharp, they could cut through misconceptions.
Why did the autistic comedian’s jokes reach new heights?
Because they were always raising the stakes, just like sensory overload.
Autism Jokes for Kids
Entertain and educate the young minds with our delightful Autism Jokes for Kids. Foster a positive and inclusive environment through humor, ensuring that laughter becomes a bridge to understanding.
I Let my kids play only with the autistic children.
That way I know for sure they’ve been vaccinated.
It’s true that vaccinated kids have higher chances of becoming autistic Because they actually live to develop it
Why do autistic kids solve math problems for fun?
Because they enjoy being mentaly challenged.
I saw an autistic kid being beat up by three guys. I couldn’t just stand there.
There was no way he stood a chance against all four of us.
Why can’t an autistic kid play billiards?
He can’t pick up cues.
I work with an autistic kid.
The other day I drew something terribly on the computer screen and told him I’m artistic He said me too.
I’m on the spectrum.
What did the autistic kid do when he was accused of stealing?
He retorted.
Yesterday I was bitten by an autistic kid and it gave me a vaccine.
Hmm. . . What should you do with the Jewish, autistic kid?
Send him to a concentration camp. . .
I would never vaccinate my kids.
It would be dangerous and make my child autistic, I would just let my doctor do it.
Autism Jokes and Puns
Dive into a world of wordplay and clever humor with our Autism Jokes and Puns. Explore the lighter side of autism with jokes that showcase the beauty of linguistic creativity while fostering awareness.
Autistic minds think differently, but they also think brilliantly!
Autism lights up our lives with a vibrant spark!
Autistic individuals are the heroes of their own narratives!
I may struggle, but I’m also a puzzle-solving extraordinaire!
Autism is not a flaw, it’s a skillset!
Autistic minds are the perfect mix of creativity and ingenuity!
Autism paves the way for remarkable achievements!
Living with autism means embracing a life full of delightful quirks!
Why did the autistic child bring a ladder to school?
Because they wanted to reach new heights!
Why did the autistic chef always overcook the food?
Because they believed in thorough asd-seasoning!
Why did the autistic artist always draw big circles?
Because they saw no point in drawing little ones!
Why did the autistic mathematician always forget to carry the one?
Because they were too focused on the autistics and crossed Ts!
Why did the autistic gardener struggle to grow flowers?
Because they believed every plant deserves to be a-germ-inated!
Why did the autistic comedian take the stage by storm?
Because their jokes were always on the spectrum!
Why did the autistic engineer always use measuring tape?
Because they wanted to ensure everything was in asd-unit proportion!
Why did the autistic writer prefer using a typewriter?
Because they loved the sound of their thoughts on the autism tick!
Why did the autistic musician insist on playing louder?
Because they believed in turning up the autisms!
Why did the autistic athlete love track and field?
Because it was the perfect opportunity to stim-ulate their mind and body!
Why did the autistic doctor always take thorough patient notes?
Because they wanted to be sure not to miss any autis-ticks!
Why did the autistic pilot always excel in flying?
Because they had a natural talent for staying on the autistic course!
Why did the autistic magician always have a successful show?
Because they knew how to asd-tonish their audience!
Why did the autistic fashion designer prefer bold patterns?
Because they loved making a strong asd-fashion statement!
Why did the autistic librarian enjoy organizing books?
Because they understood the importance of keeping things in order and asd-chronological!
Why did the autistic programmer always create bug-free code?
Because they knew the true power of auti-mation!
Why did the autistic salesperson always close deals?
Because they had a knack for auti-matically reading people’s needs!
Why did the autistic architect always design unique buildings?
Because they believed in leaving their auti-graph on the world!
Why did the autistic teacher excel in the classroom?
Because they had a special knack for auti-educating their students!
Why did the autistic plumber always quickly fix any issues?
Because they knew the importance of asd-dressing problems promptly!
Autism is a spectrum, just like my love for you.
I’ve always been drawn to people on the autistic spectrum, they have such a magnetic personality.
Dating someone with autism is like solving a puzzle, there’s always a hidden piece waiting to be discovered.
Autism may cause communication difficulties, but your smile speaks volumes to me.
Being with you feels like a sensory overload, in the best possible way.
You must be on the spectrum because you light up my world like nobody else.
You have a unique way of seeing the world, and I’m glad to be a part of your colorful journey.
They say autists live in their own little world, well, I’d love to be a part of your world.
People with autism may struggle with social cues, but with you, every glance is crystal clear.
Being with you is like finding the perfect stim, it’s pure bliss.
Autism may make everyday interactions challenging, but with you, my heart is never at a loss for words.
Your genuine authenticity is refreshing, it’s like a breath of fresh air in a neurotypical world.
Autistic minds think outside the box, and being with you makes me see the world in a whole new light.
You have a unique way of finding patterns, and I’m glad I found a pattern in your heart.
I’m not sure if it’s your autism, but you have a way of unraveling the mysteries of my heart.
Final Thoughts
As we bid adieu to this laughter-filled expedition through autism jokes, we encourage you to continue the conversation.
In the spirit of shared joy and understanding, share your thoughts, anecdotes, or even your favorite jokes about autism in the comments below.
Remember, humor has the remarkable ability to create connections and bridge gaps.
Let this collection promote a world where everyone, regardless of neurodiversity, is embraced with open hearts and infectious smiles.
Your participation ensures that the dialogue around autism remains vibrant, respectful, and ultimately, filled with the warmth of shared laughter.
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