“Life is too important to be taken seriously,” said Oscar Wilde, and what better way to embrace this wisdom than through laughter?
Welcome to a world of burger jokes where humor meets burgers, creating a delightful blend of joy and gastronomic wit.
As Mark Twain once remarked, “Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand”.
And we invite you to experience this truth with our compilation of the funniest jokes about burgers that span all ages and tastes.
Best Burger Jokes
Discover a mouthwatering selection of the finest burger jokes that promise to tickle your funny bone and leave you craving more. Get ready for a side of humor with your favorite dish!
How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed?
They’re the ones wearing the left-handed meats!
Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!
Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.
How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers?
Plain – Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
How do we know burgers love young people?
They re pro-teen!
How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball?
He throws four meatballs!
How far do burgers go in school?
Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
Why was the burger thrown out of the Army?
He couldn’t pass mustard! (muster)
What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is well done and Chief Justice Warren Burger has done well!
What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!
What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?
You’ve got no beef, soldier!
What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee appetite!
What do some people have against cheeseburgers?
They say, Burgers can’t be cheesy!
What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?
It’s PAN-demonium!
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
What happens when two burgers fall in love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!
What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball – a sizzler.
What kind of baseball do burgers play?
Ketchup baseball!
What old-time song is the burgers favourite?
Hammy – as sung by Al Jolson!
What song do burgers sing on the job?
Gristle While You Work!
When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day they decide to meat LOAF!
Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
Where do the burgers go on New Year’s Eve?
To a meat ball!
Where does a burger feel at home?
On the range!
Where does a burger go on vacation?
The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
Which burgers are dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)
Which burger is famous for a long nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!
Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium burgers!
Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!
Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball?
A double!
Which is the meat patties least favourite day of the week?
Fry-day!
Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion?
The POTTED ones!
Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that are born under the sign of the Ham!
Which people do the burgers hate?
The ones who are always putting the bite on them!
Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT talks!
Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS sausage!
Who was the burger’s favourite all-time movie director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!
Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?
The meatball heros!
Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?
Too many turnovers!
Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?
Who knows – maybe they’re picklish!
Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test their meattle!
Funny Burger Jokes
Prepare for a hearty serving of laughter as we serve up a platter of funny burger jokes that are sure to bring joy to your table. Who knew burgers could be this amusing?
How do they prevent crime in hamburger countries?
With burger alarms!
It’s undercooked?
Don’t go bacon my heart!
What do you call a vegan burger?
A misteak.
Burger: “Hey, I just got back from running 13 miles!”
His burger friend: “Wow, you’re a fast food!”
What did Mr.Hamburger name his daughter?
Patty
What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
Hot dog!
What do frogs like to eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.
How does the man in the moon eat his home delivery hamburgers?
On satellite dishes.
What was your favorite Steve Jobs’ burger?
Big Mac
Why were the burger and fries running?
Because they’re fast food
You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park
I guess he had a license to grill
A vegan applied but was rejected for a job at Burger King…
She didn’t meat the requirements.
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?
Only if they have a very frank relationship!
How are UFO’s related to hamburgers?
Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
Why did the astronaut throw away his vegetarian burger?
He wanted something *meteor*.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What does Bruce Lee order in Burger King?
WOPPAAAH!
What’s the most important ingredient in a business burger?
The deal pickle!
One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.
Why did a dad take his son to a burger shop before leaving forever?
To get him a bison burger
A cheeseburger walks into a bar
The bartender shouts “Sorry, we don’t serve food here!”
Hilarious Burger Jokes
Delight in the hilarity that ensues when burgers take center stage in our collection of jokes. These side-splitting moments are guaranteed to lift your spirits and keep you smiling.
Why did the burger become a gym enthusiast?
It aimed to sculpt its buns into “beefy” perfection!
What’s the term for a burger flaunting a hula hoop?
A “waist-wiggling” patty!
How do you bring tears to a cheeseburger’s eyes?
Remove its prized patty possession!
What did one burger whisper to the other under the sizzling stars?
“You’re the grill I’ve been flipping for, my flame-broiled crush!”
Why do hamburgers refuse to step into the world of stand-up comedy?
They’re petrified of being “grilled” by the audience!
If a burger were to form a rock band, what would it play?
The sizzling tunes of the “grilltar”!
What is the best way for a burger to introduce his wife?
Hi, Meet Patty.
On the Titanic, what type of burger is prohibited?
An iceburger.
On a deserted island, what would you call a Burger King?
Lord of the fries.
How do you refer to cows’ knees?
Burger joints!
What do bees eat for lunch?
Hum burgers.
What do cooking burgers and wives have in common?
When the blood begins to ooze out, you turn them over so the brown side is facing forward.
When two burger buns emerge from the oven stuck together, what do you call them?
Sesamese twins.
Toshinori Yagi’s favorite type of burger is?
A Smash Burger.
What makes a burger have less energy than a steak?
Because it’s in its ground state.
Why do some people dislike cheeseburgers?
They say, ‘Burgers can’t be cheesy!’
Burgers’ motto – what is it?
If at first, you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!
Do fast-food restaurants have security systems?
Burger Alarms.
The burger was thrown out of the army for what reason?
Because he couldn’t pass the mustard.
What was the purpose of hiring the pig at the restaurant?
He was good at bacon burgers.
Is it possible to make a hamburger do the Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!
Short Burger Jokes
Short, sweet, and packed with punchlines, these burger jokes are the perfect bite-sized treat for those who appreciate quick-witted humor. Ready for a taste?
Why did the burger go to the gym?
It wanted better buns.
How do you make a hamburger laugh?
Pickle it.
Why did the burger break up with the fries?
It needed space.
What did the bun say to the burger?
You’re the one for me.
Why was the burger at the comedy club?
It wanted to be a stand-up patty.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut. Then, wait for the burger to fall.
How did the burger propose to the fries?
With an onion ring.
What’s a burger’s favorite currency?
Ketchup!
What do you call a burger that you make in the sun?
A hot cross bun.
Why did the burger bring a napkin to the barbecue?
It wanted to be a neat patty.
What do you call a burger with an attitude?
A rebel without a sauce.
What did the burger say to the grill?
You’re my flame.
Why did the burger take a nap?
It was seasoned.
How does a burger answer the phone?
“With relish!”
Why did the pickle go to the barbecue?
To get a little “dill.”
Why did the burger apply for a loan?
It wanted to buy a bigger grill.
What do you call a burger that you accidentally drop?
A “mis-steak.”
Burger Jokes One Liners
Experience the art of brevity with our one-liners that deliver maximum laughter in minimal words. These burger jokes are a masterclass in quick quips. So let’s dig right into them.
My burger is so juicy, it needs its own lifeguard.
I’m not a vegetarian, but I’m feeling extra “beef-icient” with this burger.
This burger is so good, it’s making me re-evaluate my entire life. Maybe lettuce be a burger chef for a living?
This burger is so cheesy, it needs a disclaimer: “May cause spontaneous cowbell solos.”
Lettuce have a burgerlicious time!
I don’t need therapy, I just need a good burger.
I’m not saying I’m a carnivore, but I just ate an entire burger in one sitting.
Forget diamonds, burgers are a girl’s best friend.
Don’t be ‘beef-uddled’- burgers are always a good idea.
I used to think I was indecisive, now I’m not so sure… Should I have another burger?
My ketchup game is stronger than my wifi signal.
Is it still breakfast if I have a burger first thing in the morning?
My spirit animal is a cow. Because I love to graze on burgers all day long.
The only thing better than a burger is a free burger.
Life is short, eat the burger.
My bank account may be crying, but my taste buds are singing.
I’m not sure what’s more satisfying, the first bite or the last.
Burgers are like friends: always there for you, no matter what.
Clean Burger Jokes
Enjoy a family-friendly comedy experience with our collection of clean burger jokes. Perfect for sharing the joy with friends and loved ones, these jokes will leave you with a happy heart.
What did the burger say to the cheese?
“You make everything so grate!”
What do you call a burger that you buy for a penny?
A “cheap” date.
Why did the tomato turn to the burger for advice?
It wanted a slice of wisdom.
How do you make a hamburger stay calm?
Ketchup with it.
Why did the hamburger join a band?
It had the perfect “beef” with the drums.
What did the burger say to the other food at the picnic?
“Lettuce all get along!”
Why did the burger bring a coat to the barbecue?
It wanted to grill outside, but it was a bit chili.
What’s a hamburger’s favorite fairy tale?
Beauty and the Feast.
What did the burger say to the onion?
“You make me cry, but I still relish our time together.”
How do you know when a burger is well-dressed?
It’s wearing a good condiment.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
What’s a burger’s favorite type of exercise?
The pick-up method.
Why did the burger go to the party?
It wanted to “ketchup” with friends.
What do you get when you cross a burger with a computer?
A big byte.
Why did the burger apply for a job?
It wanted to turnip its life.
Why did the burger call the police?
It got mugged!
What did the burger say after breaking up with the fries?
“It’s not you, it’s meat.”
Why did the burger become a detective?
It had a keen sense of “grill.”
What’s a hamburger’s favorite dance?
The salsa!
Dirty Burger Jokes
For those with a taste for the risqué, dive into our collection of dirty burger jokes that add a spicy twist to the classic humor. Not for the faint-hearted, but definitely for the bold laugh seekers.
I was enjoying the most delicious burger at the food court.
A vegetarian looked at my burger and said, “You know, a cow died so you could have that burger.”
Mid-bite, I looked at his salad and responded, “Maybe he died because you keep eating all its fucking food!”
What do pussies and Burger King have in common?
It’s generally frowned upon to eat them in the middle of a McDonald’s.
I take my anal the same way I take my burgers
Smashed and involving Five Guys.
Why was the Hulk charged with sexual harassment at Burger King?
He asked them to hold the pickle.
If there’s one thing I love in this world, its fucking Whoppers from Burger King,
And eating them too.
I thought it would be nice to share a burger with this homeless guy I keep seeing on my way to work.
But that stingy jerk told me to go get my own.
What’s the similarity between a dick and a McDonald’s burger?
They’re both smaller and less-filling than advertised.
During my visit to Bruxelles over the weekend, I was offered a burger made from insects and everyone assured me it tasted 100% like the real thing.
I thought “Fuck, how do those guys in Belgium know how crickets taste?”
What do female pornstars and burgers have in common?
Both have seed on their buns
What happen at after you go to Jack in the box, Dairy Queen and Burger King?
You take a royal flush.
There was a food fight at the burger joint, but I didn’t participate.
I had no beef in that fight.
Burger Jokes for Adults
Indulge in a more mature flavor of humor with our selection of burger jokes tailored for adults. A perfect blend of sophistication and belly laughs awaits you.
Why did the burger go to therapy?
It had a beef with its bun.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What’s the difference between a pizza and a calzone?
One’s a pie, the other’s a pantyhose.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why don’t lobsters share?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.
What do you call a bear with no socks on?
Barefoot.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?
A moo-sical band.
Why did the baker go to the bank?
He needed dough.
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun-gi.
Why did the cow go to the gym?
To get some udder muscles.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the chicken go to the doctor?
He had fowl breath.
Burger Jokes for Kids
Introduce the young ones to the joy of laughter with our kid-friendly burger jokes. These wholesome jokes are a delightful way to share moments of mirth with the little ones.
Why did the burger go to school?
To get better at “grill”-gebra!
What did the lettuce say to the burger?
“Lettuce be friends!”
How do you fix a broken tomato?
Tomato paste!
What did the burger say to the ketchup?
“Stop playing catch-up!”
Why did the burger bring a ladder to the picnic?
It wanted to reach the high buns.
What do you call a burger with a lot of cheddar?
“Grrrr-ated”!
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Take away its smile.
What’s a burger’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy “beef” metal!
Why did the burger join a band?
It had the perfect “patty”-o.
What’s a burger’s favorite game?
Hide and “meat”!
Why did the hamburger go to space?
It wanted to see if there was life on Mars.
What’s a burger’s favorite dance?
The “meat”-ball!
What did one burger say to the other at the party?
“You’re well done!”
What do you call a burger that you make at work?
A “work of heart” burger.
Why did the burger bring a broom to the barbecue?
To sweep the grill off its feet.
What did the burger say to the french fries?
“You’re the salt of the earth!”
Why did the burger go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling “grilliant.”
What do you get when you drop a burger?
A “ground”-breaking discovery!
What’s a burger’s favorite planet?
Jupiter! Because it’s made of gas, just like a good burger!
What do you call a burger made of money?
A “billion” dollar burger.
What’s a burger’s favorite TV show?
The Big Bun Theory!
Burger Jokes and Puns
Savor the wordplay as we serve up a delectable assortment of burger jokes and puns. A feast for language enthusiasts and humor connoisseurs alike! So, here we go!
They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. But have they tried a bacon cheeseburger smothered in BBQ sauce?
What do you call a burger with no cheese? A moo-stake!
My definition of love: sharing a burger without taking the last bite.
Life is too short to eat boring food. Get yourself a burger! And maybe a side of fries for good measure.
My therapist asked me to find my inner child. I think I saw it hiding inside a burger bun, screaming for ketchup.
Warning: May cause uncontrollable burger cravings. Proceed with caution, or better yet, grab some napkins.
Forget diamonds, burgers are a carnivore’s best friend. (But vegetarians get a pass with veggie patties!)
Don’t worry, be happy. And eat a burger. Especially on those days when nothing else seems to help.
This burger is so good, it made me forget how to use a fork.
I went to a restaurant called “Disappointment.” The food was horrible, but the portions were huge. Just like my burgers!
My bank account may be crying, but my taste buds are singing after this burger.
Forget therapy, I just need a good burger.
My social life may be on a bun, but my burger will never crumble.
They say the best things in life are free.
But have you tried a double cheeseburger?
This burger is so good, it’s bun-believable!
I’m feeling a little ‘lettuce’ down.
Pass the burger sauce!
Can’t decide what to get?
Don’t be patty-ful, just pick the one that speaks to your soul.
Final Thoughts
In the grand banquet of life, laughter and good company are the main courses.
As we conclude this laughter-filled exploration of burger jokes, we extend an invitation to you, our cherished readers, to join the feast.
Share your favorite jokes, spread the joy, and let the comments section echo with the sound of collective laughter.
So, waste no more days; let the spirit of humor linger in your thoughts.
Here’s to endless chuckles, hearty smiles, and the enduring magic of burgers and jokes about burgers.
May your days be seasoned with joy, and your hearts forever filled with the delightful taste of shared laughter. Cheers!
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