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154 Hilarious Candy Jokes That Blend Sweetness with Humor

Laughter is the best medicine, and when it comes to candy jokes, they are a sweet treat for both your taste buds and funny bone.

Whether you have a big sweet tooth or just love a good laugh, our list of hilarious jokes about candy will have you LOL-ing while indulging in some sugary goodness.

As Mark Twain once said, ‘Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.’

And who doesn’t want to enjoy some witty sweetness?

So get ready for a sugar rush of laughter as we blend sweetness with humor in these amazing candy jokes.

Best Candy Jokes

Who doesn’t love a good chuckle, especially when it’s combined with the sweetness of candy? If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to satisfy your craving for both humor and sugary treats, then we have a treat for you! We’ve compiled a list of best candy jokes that are sure to have you rolling with laughter. Check it out!

What do candy bars look for on online dating sites?
A deeper confection!


Why did the candy bar get hired?
He was very a-dipped at his job!


Why did the chocolate ice cream go to jail?
He was confected of causing cavities!


How should you describe eating a mint-chocolate candy bar?
As an enjoy-mint!


Why did the dark chocolate truffle give everyone the cold shoulder?
He thought he was bitter than everyone!


What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?
A candy baaaaa-r!


A chocolate bar got kicked out of a bar. Why?
He was starting truffle!


Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
Because he drank a tall hot chocolate mocha frappuccino with low-fat soy milk and cinnamon dolce sprinkles before it was cool!


Why didn’t the cow produce any chocolate milk?
Because he was moo-dy!


Why is chocolate the best gift to give a loved one?
Because chocolate makes the heart grown fondue!


Which chocolate candy bar is a cat’s favorite?
A Kit Kat!


What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?
A rocky road!


What do candy bars need to write to get a degree?
A dessert-ation!


What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?
Cao-cao! Cao-cao!


What do chocolate clouds make?
Chocolate sprinkles!


What is brown and not made of chocolate?
A cocoa-not!


Why did the boy cry?
Because he wanted s’more chocolate!


Why did the chocolate bar get kicked out of the sports team?
He was always playing Twix on the others!


What’s the opposite of choco-late?
Choco-early.


On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?
In the Gateaux (ghetto)!


Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?
He was nutty!


What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?
Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!


What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?
A Ferrari Rocher!


Why was the chocolate Easter egg sad?
He was hollow inside!


Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?
A Bounty-ful!

Funny Candy Jokes

From puns that will make you groan (in a good way) to silly one-liners that will leave you in stitches, these funny candy jokes prove that candy truly is the way to our hearts – and our funny bones! So sit back, grab the bag of your favorite treats, and get ready to giggle your way through the ultimate list of candy jokes.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a chocolate bar?
A cow-cow!


Why did the chocolate bar blush?
Because he was bar-e!


What do you say when a candy bar fails his exams?
He fudged it!


Why was the chocolate bar always grumpy?
He was ill temper-ed!


Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.


What happens when candy bars pass on?
They get cream-ated!


Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams!


What’s the difference between a man dressed in robes and a king enrobed in chocolate?
Cocoa nib-ility!


Why didn’t the candy bar get locked up for eating chocolate?
It was not a cream!


What’s the most popular sweet at the North Pole?
Ice crispy treats.


Which chocolates are less likely to help you out when you’re in trouble?
Semi-sweet ones!


What did the candy bar say to his date?
Orange-you going to invite me in?


Why wouldn’t the chocolate truffle answer anyone’s calls?
He was desfondant!


What’s a snowman’s favorite candy?
Sno-Caps.


What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.


What do you call a train that eats toffee?
A chew, chew train.


What’s an alien’s favorite candy?
Martian-mellows


What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A chocolate baa.


What do you call the Swiss president’s airplane?
Tobler One.


What’s a dentist’s worst nightmare?
A lion that loves candy.


What is Roo’s favorite candy?
Lolli-hops.


What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?
Trick-or-feet.


What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
He farted rainbows.


What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?
Jelly beans!

Short Candy Jokes

Do you have a sweet tooth and a love for puns? Then these short candy jokes are just the thing to satisfy your craving for a good laugh. So grab a sugar rush and enjoy these sugary treats of humor.

What kind of candy is never on time?
ChocoLATE.


What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
A candy baaa.


What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookiee.


What do you call stolen cocoa?
Hot chocolate.


What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.


What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?
A PayDay.


Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
Babe Ruth.


If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?
Diabetes.


What do you get when you don’t give your dog chocolate?
Chocolate bark and maybe even a choco-bite!


Why did the donut visit the dentist?
He needed a chocolate filling.


What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mousse.


How do candy bars pay for things?
With choco-bitcoins!


What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?
Decad-ant


What do you do with a rotten candy bar?
You chuck-o-late it out!


Why was the dairy milk chocolate bar confused?
He couldn’t milk up his mind!


What did the candy bar write on his Valentine’s day card?
I love you dairy-ly!


Why do candy bars make excellent lawyers?
Because they always pass the bar exams!


What do you call a candy bar that attends peaceful protests?
Mahatma Candy!


Why couldn’t the lady give up chocolate?
Because she wasn’t a quitter!


What did the truffle and the chocolate bar do when the latest Chocolat movie came out?
They went to choc it out!


Why do milk chocolate truffles like sky diving?
Because they’re dairy-ing!


Why did the woman eat the box of chocolates?
Because it was After Eight!


Why did the man give up eating ice cream?
Because he couldn’t top it!


Which nursery rhyme do candy bars sing to their children?
Bar bar chocolate sheep.


What do you call a man who hunts chocolate bars?
A Bounty hunter!


Why did the candy bar get cold?
Because he wasn’t wearing a sweeter!

Candy Jokes One Liners

Looking to add a little sweetness to your day? Look no further than these one liner candy jokes. From punny plays on words to tongue-in-cheek quips, these jokes will have you giggling and craving something sugary all at once. Give them a try!

What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar.


What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?
Cacao.


Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?
A Skor!


What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
Chocolate chimp.


What does it do before it rains candy?
It sprinkles!


What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?
3 Musketeers!


What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.


What did the M&M go to college?
Because he wanted to be a Smarty.


Which is the clumsiest candy bar?
A Butterfinger!


What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa-nut.


Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?
They had a Babe Ruth.


Why was the candy bar confused?
Because she was a Her-She-y bar!


What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?
Almond Joy To The World.


Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because it lost its filling!


What occasion do chocolate bars look forward to all month?
PayDay!


What do you call a dancing candy bar that got sent back in time to the 1920s?
A Charleston Chew!


What do chocolate bars book when they go away for a weekend?
A hotel sweet!


Why couldn’t the candy bar screw in the lightbulb?
She was an Aero-head!


What did the dark chocolate bar say when the milk chocolate bar canceled their date?
How dairy!


What happened when the chocolate bar stuck his finger in the plug?
He became a shock-o-late bar!


Where do candy bars hang out on a plane?
At the Sky Bar!


Which candy bar is a favorite of chocolate thieves?
A Take 5!


What happens when you mistake a candy bar for a potato?
You find an Idaho Spud!


Why did the thief steal the candy bar?
It was called a 100 Grand bar!


Which candy bars are out of this world?
Milky Ways and Mars Bars!

Clean Candy Jokes

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? And what better way to indulge your sweet tooth than with a collection of candy jokes? We’ve scoured the internet for the funniest, cleanest jokes about all your favorite sugary treats. These jokes will have you giggling like a kid in a candy store. Have a look!

Why did the blonde put a candy bar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams.


What is a leopard’s favorite candy?
Dots.


Where did the zombie apocalypse start?
On 5th avenue.


What is a Happy Farmer’s favorite candy?
A Jolly Rancher.


Why did the balloon burst?
Because is saw a lolly pop.


What is a scientist’s favorite food?
Smarties.


What do you call an Altoid that loves word play?
A punnish-mint.


What two candies are the smartest?
Smarties and Nerds.


What is the funniest type of taffy?
The Laffy Taffy


What do you call a really good popsicle?
Fantast-lick!


What does Babe ruth like to do?
Scores runs!


What is a monster favorite snack?
Sugar babies!


What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes.


Why was the vampire called “sweet”?
He gave everybody kisses instead!

Candy Jokes for Adults

Looking for a sweet way to lighten the mood and get a few laughs? Well look no further than these candy jokes that will have you rolling in your seat. From chocolate bars to lollipops, there’s a joke for every candy lover out there. So grab a bag of your favorite treat and get ready to indulge in some flavorful humor.

What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!


What do chocolate bars and jokes have in common?
They can both be cracked!


What is red, white, and blue over winter break?
A sad candy cane.


What country did candy come from?
Sweeten.


What kind of jokes do chocolate bars not crack?
Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!


What dessert did the mommy cat get after her Mother’s Day dinner?
Chocolate Mouse


What contry did candy come from?
Sweetland or Candyland.


Which is a chocoholics’ favorite kind of party?
One that’s choco-lit!


What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?
A Choco-Light!


What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!


What candies do you find at school?
Smarties, Nerds, and Dum-Dums!


What candy do you eat on the playground?
Recess pieces.


Why did the candy bar cross the road?
Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!


What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?
Snickers – he only snickers!


What do you call an extra sweet cookie?
A chocolate chip cutie!

Candy Jokes and Puns

Get ready for some sweet giggles with these candy jokes and puns! From clever quips about chocolate to hilarious one-liners about gummy bears, these candy-themed jokes are sure to satisfy your sweet tooth for humor. So indulge in some candy and some laughs with this delightful collection of candy jokes. Get ready to laugh until you’re sugared out!

What did the baby corn say to its mom?
Where is pop corn?


What do cows give after an earth quake?
Milk shakes!


What candy is only for girls?
HER-SHEy’s Kisses!


What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.


Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?
Because prisoners break out!


How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?
First, invade ze kitchen.


Why did the Smartie go to school?
Because he wanted to be smarter.


What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?
A life saver!


What do you call a cow that can’t moo?
A Milk Dud.


What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe.


What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat?
Cotton candy.


Why was Mrs. Cookie so sad?
She was feeling crummy.


What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?
The world’s best Sundae!


What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?
Going my Milky Way?


Why did the jellybean go to school?
To become a smartie!

Candy Jokes and Riddles

Everyone loves a good chuckle, especially when it involves one of our favorite treats! Look no further than this collection of candy jokes and riddles to satisfy your sweet tooth and sense of humor. These jokes are a delightful way to indulge in some playful fun. So grab the bag of your favorite candy and get ready to laugh out loud!

I’m a food that is sweet.
I’m red and white.
I can be curled big or little.
I’m a holiday treat.
What am I?
Candy cane.


I purchased two different pieces of candy.
Together they cost $1.10.
One candy cost one dollar more than the other candy.
What was the price of each piece of candy?
One was $0.05, and the other was $1.05.


I’m usually seen at Christmas, but I’m not a stocking or a bell.
I am red and white in color.
And shaped a bit like the letter J.
What am I? 
Candy cane.


A group of men walk into a candy store.
There are two fathers and two sons.
They each buy a candy bar for 50 cents.
The total for all of the candy bars was $1.50.
How is that possible?
There was a grandfather, a father, and a son.


I sometimes come as a slab.
And sometimes come as a chip.
I sometimes come as a bar.
Or fondue in which to dip. What could I be?
Chocolate.


I’m a candy that looks like a cloud.
I come on a stick and I dissolve in your mouth.
What am I?
Cotton candy.


How can the word candy be spelled with 2 letters?
C and y.


I’m a candy that is very sticky.
It can blow bubbles.
You chew it, but don’t swallow.
What am I?
Bubble gum.


I am a stick that’s stuck in a ball of sweetness.
What am I?
Lollipop.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, these hilarious candy jokes have shown us that laughter and sweetness can go hand in hand.

From silly puns to witty one-liners, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.

So the next time you’re craving a laugh or a sugary treat, remember these jokes about candy and indulge in some humor along with your candy.

And don’t forget to share your favorite joke or even come up with some of your own in the comments section below!

Let’s continue spreading joy and laughter through our love for sweets.

Thank you for reading!

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