In the grand tapestry of humor, few threads are as endearing as feline wit.
As Mark Twain once quipped, “The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.”
Such wisdom encapsulates the charm of our hilarious cat jokes collection.
Backed by scientific studies on the therapeutic impact of laughter, we’ve meticulously curated a spectrum of humor.
Join us on a journey where laughter, like a cat’s purr, transcends boundaries, resonating with both kids and adults.
Let the symphony of feline-inspired jokes about cats commence!
Best Cat Jokes
Embark on a laughter-filled journey as we present the Best Cat Jokes collection. Curated for humor enthusiasts, this compilation guarantees a feline-inspired giggle fest that transcends the ordinary. Get ready to unleash the charm of cat jokes that stand out in the crowd.
What animals can you not trust?
Big cats! Because some are cheetahs, and some are always lion!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!
What is smarter than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!
What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote?
Paws.
Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow.
Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
Because it littered.
What did the cat say when it got scratched?
Meowch!
What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
What did the cat say when it was confused?
I’m purr-plexed!
How is cat food sold?
Usually, purr the can!
What’s another name for a cat’s house?
A scratch pad!
Why did the cats ask for a drum set?
They wanted to make some mewsic!
Funny Cat Jokes
Enter the realm of amusement with our side-splitting Funny Cat Jokes. Backed by research on humor psychology, these jokes are expertly crafted to tickle your funny bone. Join us as we explore the lighter side of feline companionship through laughter and wit.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
Frostbite!
What types of cats purr the best?
Purrr-sians!
What did the cat say after hearing a funny joke?
Lmao.
What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
Hisss-tory!
What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?
Claw and Order.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies!
What’s a cat’s favorite cereal?
Mice crispies.
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
When it’s raining cats and dogs!
When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call?
A tabby.
Why don’t you want to play Monopoly with a cat?
They tend to be cheetahs.
Why are cats bad at making decisions?
They become so purrplexed.
What made the cat upgrade his phone?
He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.
Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment?
They properly used an independent claws.
What’s a kitten’s fave way to shop?
By cat-alogue.
Why was the animal lover so untrustworthy?
She kept letting the cat out of the bag!
What do cats call a nice dinner?
A fancy feast.
Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behaviour.
Hilarious Cat Jokes
Prepare for a rib-tickling experience with our Hilarious Cat Jokes collection. These jokes are curated to uplift your spirits. Unleash the power of humor with feline-inspired hilarity that’s guaranteed to brighten your day.
What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink?
Evaporated milk.
Why is it hard to trust cats?
They have many tall tails.
How do cats stop crimes?
They call claw enforcement!
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!
What song do kittens always request at dances?
Mice Mice Baby.
Why did the teenage cat call her parents when she found an apartment she liked?
She needed them to (cali)co-sign her lease.
What did the mom cat say about her intuition?
I just had a strong feline.
What’s a cat’s favorite sport?
Hair ball.
Why do cats make horrible DJs?
They always paws the tunes.
A fun part of having a black cat is occasionally accidentally talking to a crumpled up black T-shirt on the floor.
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!
What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
A mice-cream cone!
Why do cats always get their way?
They are very purr-suasive!
How do two cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up!
I make a lot of jokes about my cat, but I always think wouldn’t it be fun if my cat was making jokes about me to his cat friends?
That would be awesome if my cat was at home going ‘What’s the deal with all the crying?
Somewhere there is a house cat that did more than I did today.
Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
Just kitten.
I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare…
Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
What do Christmas and desert cats have in common?
Sandy claws.
What should you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb!
Knock Knock Cat Jokes
Knock, knock! Who’s there? It’s a parade of feline laughter in our Knock Knock Cat Jokes section. Crafted with precision and wit, these jokes promise an interactive and entertaining experience. Brace yourself for a unique blend of humor that knocks at the door of your amusement.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten who?
Quit kitten around and let me in!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cat!
Cat who?
Cat me outside, how bout dat?!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cat.
Cat who?
Cat you understand!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catskills.
Catskills who?
Catskills mice!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claws.
Claws who?
Claws the door, it’s cold!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my cat!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten, who?
Quit kitten around and open the door.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lion.
Lion who?
Lion on your doorstep, open up!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Neil.
Neil who?
Neil down and pet this cat!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claw
Claw who?
Claw Enforcement, you have the right to remain silent.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catsup.
Catsup who?
Catsup a tree and won’t come down!
Cat Jokes One Liners
Savor the simplicity of humor with our Cat Jokes One Liners. Designed to deliver instant laughs, these jokes embody the essence of wit in concise form. Join us in the world of quick and clever feline-inspired punchlines that resonate with humor aficionados.
Why did the cat have to go to an accountant?
They got caught up in a purramid scheme.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Their paws.
What did the kitten have at their birthday party?
A pounce house.
Why did some cat friends go to the mall?
There was a buy-one-get-one-furry deal.
My cat loves me so much that sometimes he stares at me with that look of love that’s almost creepy.
Before a cat fight, what is usually said?
Hold my purrse.
How did the cat comic know he was funny?
The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
Which day of the week do cats love the most?
Caturday.
What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day?
It was unfurrgetable!
Why was the cat so agitated?
He was in a bad mewd.
Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
What do cats use to make coffee?
A purr-colator!
Why did the cat wear a fancy dress?
She was feline fine!
What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo?
An eskimew!
Clean Cat Jokes
Embrace the joy of wholesome humor with our Clean Cat Jokes. Upholding the highest standards, these jokes are suitable for all audiences. Join the laughter brigade as we navigate through jokes that are not just amusing but also family-friendly.
Cats are more like ‘Hey, what are you up to? Never mind — I just remembered I don’t care.
What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse?
Catch!
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The re-tail store!
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple!
Why do cats make terrible storytellers?
They only have one tail.
I saw a poster today that asked, “Have you seen my cat?”
So, I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.
What’s it called when all the treats are gone?
A cat-astrophe.
I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her. I went home and told my dog.
Why are cats, great singers?
Because they’re very mewsical!
How do French cats say “Thank You”?
Meow-ci Beaucoup.
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse!
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark!
After a few days living with my dad’s shiba inu dogs in the house, my two cats have learned to bark. And after my dad trained them, Donut now fetches slippers. *shrugs and look mystified* am I raising two fake doggo-cats
What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker?
Scratch and sniff.
What should you say to your cat when you leave the house?
Have a mice day!
Why do cats always win video games?
Because they have nine lives!
Dirty Cat Jokes
For those who appreciate humor with an edge, delve into our Dirty Cat Jokes. Crafted for a mature audience, these jokes promise a dash of spice in the feline humor domain. Indulge in the witty and risqué side of cat-inspired comedy.
I want to show you pictures of my pussy.
She likes to play with herself.
What types of cats go bowling?
Alley cats!
What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
An alley cat!
My cat has a purr-on.
What did the cat say when it was confusing?
I’m purr-plexed!
I love stroking my pussy.
What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
Puss in boots!
She loves to be on top.
How do you get a wet pussy?
Put it in the shower.
Where did cats live in Ancient Greece?
The Panther-non.
Why was the hippy cat happy?
She was Fe-line groovy.
Cat Jokes for Adults
Discover a world of grown-up amusement with our Cat Jokes for Adults. Grounded in mature humor, these jokes offer a playful escape into the adult side of feline-inspired comedy. Unleash your inner laughter with a touch of sophistication.
What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
Good Mousekeeping!
Why did the cat eat the lemons?
He was a sourpuss!
What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
Petsylvania!
How does a cat sing scales?
Do-re-mew!
What normally happens when kitties go on a first date?
They hiss.
Where do cats always fly out of when they travel?
Kitty Hawk!
Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family?
Let us prey.
Why do cats hate laptops?
They don’t have a mouse.
Where do cats enjoy spending a family day?
The mew-seum.
What was the kitten bowling league called?
Alley Cats.
Why did the cat avoid eating lemons?
They made him a sour-puss.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purr-petrator.
What do you call a cat who became a doctor?
A first aid kitten.
I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… You probably saw our posters.
What do you call a feline with a short haircut?
A bob cat, of course.
Cat Jokes for Kids
Cultivate a love for laughter in the young minds with our Cat Jokes for Kids. Designed for the little jokesters, these jokes strike the perfect balance between humor and age-appropriate content. Join us in fostering a joyous atmosphere with feline-inspired merriment.
What did one cat say while her friend was complaining?
Tail me about it.
What is a cat’s favorite movie?
The Sound of Mewsic!
What do cats love to do in the morning?
Read the mewspaper!
Why don’t cats ever say “YOLO?”
They have nine lives.
What did the sick cat say?
I feel clawful!
Why do cats have minty breath?
The use mousewash.
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain!
What sports do cats play?
Hairball!
What do polite cats say when they’re in the way?
Paw-don me! I’m furry sorry.
How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?
Her test was pawsitive.
What does the cat say after making a joke?
Just kitten!
What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish?
Haute-cat-ture.
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?”
He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses.
The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!”
The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”
What do cats look for in a significant other?
A great purrsonality.
When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead?
See ya litter!
Cat Jokes and Puns
Dive into the clever wordplay of our Cat Jokes and Puns. Backed by linguistic expertise and a penchant for wit, these jokes offer a delightful play on words. Join us in exploring the pun-tastic side of feline humor that’s sure to leave you grinning.
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I’m paw!
What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?
They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
What do cats quote from the movie Bridesmaids?
Help me, I’m paw!
Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
She let the cat out of the bag.
What title does a cat go by in the kitchen?
The Whisker.
Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?
They have great littership.
What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order?
Claw Enforcement.
A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”
The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.”
The bartender pours the cat his drink. Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar… immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!”
What do baby cats always wear?
Diapurrs!
Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas?
She was a sher-paw.
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed?
A Himalayan.
How do you know a cat is agitated?
He’s having a hissy fit!
My cat told a joke today but I didn’t laugh.
He took it purr-sondal.
Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat.
Major faux paw.
Final Thoughts
As we bid adieu to this laughter-filled rendezvous with our feline friends, we invite you to share your favorite moments and cat jokes in the comments below.
Remember, laughter is the universal language that connects us all.
Whether you found solace in the clean and family-friendly jokes or indulged in the risqué allure of our dirty jokes about cats, let the spirit of amusement linger.
As Albert Einstein wisely noted, ‘Creativity is intelligence having fun,’ and what better way to express our collective creativity than through the delightful lens of cat humor.
Keep the laughter alive, and may your days be forever filled with the joyous echoes of cat jokes and jokes about cats!
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