As the saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine.” When you’re feeling under the weather with a cough or cold, sometimes all you need is a good laugh.
While focusing on rest and hydration is important for recovery, a bit of comic relief can go a long way in lifting any one’s spirits.
Renowned American former comedian and actor Bill Cosby once said “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive.”
With that in mind, we’ve compiled some of the most hilarious cough jokes guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and brighten your day.
We’ve included jokes about cough that are groan-worthy in their cleverness, as even the worst jokes can elicit a chuckle when you need a good cough drop.
So read on for a dose of comedic medicine to lighten your mood and accelerate your recovery.
Laughter truly may be the best cough syrup.
Best Cough Jokes
There’s nothing funny about coughing…unless you have a great cough joke up your sleeve! In fact, we’ve rounded up these best cough jokes that are sure to leave you laughing (and maybe even coughing a little). Take a glance!
Why did the cough lose the race?
It couldn’t stop hacking.
Why are coughs bad liars?
Because they’re too transparent and you can see right through them.
I was going to tell you a cough pun but I’m a little phlegm-oxed for words.
Why did the cough go to the art show?
To see the modern hack-st.
What did one cough say to another?
You crack me up!
Don’t worry, if you’ve heard one cough pun, you’ve heard a phlegm all.
Why did the cough get into trouble with the law?
It was a known con-gestion artist.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cough?
Dino-sore throat.
I’m not just a natural at respiratory jokes, I’m an air-apparent.
What do you call it when a cough promises to turn over a new leaf?
A coughstract improvement.
What does a polite cough say before entering a room?
Ahem-trance granted?
I had a joke about whooping cough, but it’s a little bit too “whoop-propriate.”
What’s a romantic cough’s favorite kind of music?
Slow lung songs.
Why was the cough so wealthy?
It had a lot of liquid assets.
That choir must have a cold, they’re really good at a-cough-pella.
Funny Cough Jokes
These hilarious cough jokes are perfect for sharing with friends, family, or even just to make yourself chuckle. So sit back, grab a soft tissue, and get ready to laugh your way through these top-notch cough jokes. Who knew coughing could be so hilarious?
Cough up the dough, or sneeze and you might blow your budget.
A stitch in time saves nine, but a cough syrup coats thrice.
All’s fair in love and war, but in flu season, share your coughs no more.
Great minds think alike, but coughing minds should think isolated.
A cough in time saves nine… more coughs.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, or out of the cough and into the sneeze.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again—just not with the cough remedy.
Don’t count your chickens before they cough.
Every cloud has a silver lining, unless it’s coughing up a storm cloud.
It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a cough.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it cough.
Better late than never, but better never to cough.
Laughter is the best medicine, except for treating a cough.
When it rains, it coughs up a storm.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away, cough or no cough.
Short Cough Jokes
There’s nothing like a good laugh to cure the coughs and colds that come with the winter season. And what better way to bring a smile to your face than with some short, sweet cough jokes? Check them out and see the magic!
My cough was so bad; I started writing poems – it’s a real cough-ee table book.
I grabbed the wrong drink to soothe my cough; it was a mug of “tea-ssue.”
A silent cough is truly an unheard-of sneeze.
I went to a coughing competition; you could say I expector-ated to win.
I joined the choir with my cough; they said I had a unique “phlegm-bra-timbre.”
The invisible cough is like clear smoke.
When I cough, I see it as an opportunity to pause and re-flect on my health.
I mixed up my cough medicine and my document glue, now I have a sticky situation in my throat.
A weak cough is powerfully underwhelming.
I have a joke about my persistent cough, but it’s a bit too wheezy to tell.
The comedian with a cold wasn’t that funny, but his cough got a lot of hack-laughs.
A dry cough is surprisingly fluid in spreading germs.
I coughed during a game of hide and seek, and now they call me “found-a-chough.”
During my cough, I joined a band and played the trumpet; I really blew it away.
The loud whisper of a cough is a quiet uproar.
Cough Jokes One Liners
Looking for a good laugh? Look no further than these cough jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone! From silly one-liners to witty puns, these jokes will have coughing up laughter in no time. Try them!
A single cough in a series is a solitary crowd.
The soft thunder of a muffled cough shakes the silence.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest after a bad cough.
A cough’s brief eternity is over in a moment.
A stationary cough travels fast by word of mouth.
A cough is something you can catch on the fly.
If you don’t cover your mouth, your cough will be mist.
The cold warmth of a feverish cough chills to the bone.
When you have a cold, you can bank on a cough to follow suit.
If your cough doesn’t clear up, it might be time to call the coffer.
With a cough, you really expectorate a lot out of yourself.
Can a cough open locks?
No, but it can help you hack a safe.
Does a cough fee sound better than medicine?
A cough is the only thing you don’t want to go viral.
A cough is like a bad joke; it’s all about the delivery.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is attractive, forget the fruit.
I had a lingering cough, but I’m not one to harp on it.
If you take cough medicine, you might experience some side cough-ects.
I got a cold and now I’m under house a-cough-ment.
If you have a bad cough, you should try to heave it alone.
A knight with a cough is Sir Rhosis of the lung.
Coughs have a spot in musical history – right between Bach and Offenbach.
The cough syrup had a bad taste, but I swallowed my pride.
Don’t let that cough linger too long; it might turn into something accute.
A thief stole my cough syrup; I hope he doesn’t OD on codeine.
Clean Cough Jokes
Need a quick pick-me-up? These clean cough jokes pack a punch in just a few words. With cough jokes like these, you’ll be feeling better in no time. So, give them a try.
Why was the cough feeling down?
It was tired of being under the weather.
I told my cough to leave, but it just got throaty and ignored me.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk and a lot of coughing from laughter.
Coughs have rhythm: they love a good lung-rest.
A cough’s favorite exercise is a lung-e.
Why was the cough so bad at being a comedian?
It always choked on the punchline!
Don’t trust a cough; they’re notorious for spreading lies and germs.
What do you call a coughing knight?
Sir Coughs A Lot.
What do you call a wizard who coughs a lot?
A cough-uring magician.
How does a cough keep up with current events?
It reads the daily hack-spaper.
What’s a cough’s favorite musical instrument?
The trumpet, because they’re both great at blowing.
Why don’t coughs go to school?
They’re afraid of all the tests, especially the cough test.
Why did the computer start coughing?
It caught a virus.
Why was the cough a bad employee?
It always took too many sick days.
Why do coughs make terrible spies?
They always give themselves away.
Cough Drop Jokes
Cough jokes are a hilarious way to lighten the mood and bring some laughter to those around you. Whether you’re at a family gathering or in a crowded elevator, a well-timed cough joke is sure to get a chuckle (or groan) out of your audience. So why not give it a try and make someone’s day a little brighter with a clever cough joke? Who knows, it might even become your signature joke!
What kind of cough drops do pigs take?
Recola.
The man who invented the cough drop passed away last week.
He decided not to have a coffin at his funeral.
The inventor of Halls Cough Drops died last night.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
Why does Loki buy cough drops?
He doesn’t want to get a Thor throat.
A doctor made a mistake and unknowingly prescribed his patient a powerful laxative instead of cough drops.
At the end of the week the patient comes back for a check-up. The doctor asks him: “So how’s it going, Mr. Kowalski? Do you still cough a lot ?”
The patient, who’s been sitting there very rigidly, looks at him with wide eyes, “No. I’m afraid to.”
Cough Jokes for Adults
Coughing can be quite annoying, but sometimes a good joke can make it a little bit more tolerable. These cough jokes are a great way to lighten the mood when someone can’t stop coughing. There’s a good chance you’ll find a cough joke that will compel you laugh out loud. So the next time someone around you is coughing up a storm, try out one of these snappy jokes to help them ease the tension.
I’m not sick, I’m just a bit under the “wheather.”
I quit telling cough puns because they always expectorate a laugh.
I’d give my cough puns a rest, but there’s no time for a breather.
The ghost caught a cold; now it’s a coughin’.
My cough isn’t contagious, but my puns are viral.
Is my sense of humor a cough?
Because it seems quite dry.
I have a joke about a persistent cough, but I can’t quite get it out.
I got a standing ovulation for my cough pun routine.
I wanted to hide my illness, but my cough spilled the beans; it’s a real blabberhack.
I never tell cough puns on stage; I don’t want to hack it up.
My cough isn’t serious, it’s just a bit of a choke-up.
That cough syrup is good, but it’s hard to swallow these puns.
Whoever stole my cough medicine, you owe me, it was a Robit-hustle.
You think this cough is bad?
You should see the lung-repercussions.
I tried to suppress my cough but it just wasn’t mute-able.
Cough Jokes for Kids
Coughs can be quite annoying when you’re trying to watch your favorite TV show or trying to get a good night’s sleep. However, coughs can also be hilarious, especially when you add a little humor to them. These cough jokes for kids are the perfect way to make light of an annoying situation. So next time your child has a cough, turn it into a moment of laughter with a funny cough joke.
Look before you leap, and cough before you speak.
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a cold by its cough.
I’m an excellent cough drop because I always catch people’s attention.
I couldn’t stop coughing, so I went to a concert to clear my throat.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I caught this cough overnight.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the coughing get tea.
When the ghost got bronchitis, all he could say was “coughin’!” instead of “booin’!”
The early bird catches the worm, but the early cough catches the germ.
I wrote a song about my persistent cough; it’s quite a catchy tune.
I’m reading a book on anti-coughing techniques; it’s quite breathtaking.
Trying to hide my cough in public, I said it was just a little “chough,” but nobody believed me.
During my cold, I took up photography; I guess you could say I’ve developed a good cough focus.
I told my doctor my cough sounded musical; he diagnosed me with a case of “tuba-culosis.”
I started a cough syrup business because I wanted to make a liquid asset.
When I cough, I go to the theater; it’s the perfect place for a little “hack-ting.”
Cough Jokes and Puns
Cough jokes may not be the most common form of comedy, but they’re certainly worth a good laugh. Whether it’s a clever pun or a silly joke, a good cough joke has the power to lift your mood and put a smile on your face. So sit back, take these cough jokes and enjoy some chuckles with your friends.
An expected surprise is a cough in allergy season.
A known mystery is the exact source of a cough in a crowd.
I had a cough that was so bad it left me breathless – literally.
The open secret of a contagious cough spreads silently.
An active rest is a cough that interrupts sleep.
Cough medicine should come with a cap; it’s often a tough act to swallow.
A peaceful eruption is a well-timed cough during a concert.
I tried to write a song about a cough, but I couldn’t get past the first hack.
A cough is the body’s way of putting your mouth on vibrate mode.
My cough is so musical, I’m thinking of starting a phlegm band.
If you have a cough, don’t worry; it’s just your lungs trying to tell you a secret.
Why was the cough so bad at phone games?
It kept pressing the wrong buttons.
When I cough in public, I become an involuntary stand-up comedian.
Why did the cough break up with the sneeze?
It needed more space.
Coughs are like freeloaders; they come uninvited and don’t leave.
I don’t always cough, but when I do, it’s in the quietest moment of a movie.
My cough was so persistent, I finally gave in and named it.
Every time I cough, I seem to press the paws button on my cat.
Coughs are sneaky. They turn “Pleased to meet you” into “Please don’t leave me.”
I went to a fight and a cough broke out.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, laughter is truly a best medicine and these cough jokes are the perfect prescription for a good time.
We hope that this post brought a smile to your face and made your cough a little more bearable.
Whether you are dealing with a mild tickle or an intense hacking fit, these jokes about coughs are sure to bring some much-needed humor into your life.
But don’t just take our word for it, try them out on your friends and family next time you are all gathered around the fireplace.
Spread the joy and share these jokes with anyone who could use a good laugh.
And if you have any other hilarious cough jokes to add to our list, please comment in the section below!
Let’s keep the laughter going and brighten someone else’s day.
Remember, a little bit of laughter can go a long-long way in improving our physical and emotional well-being.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and we hope it provided some much-needed entertainment during this cold and flu season.
Stay healthy and keep laughing!
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