Enter the realm of hilarity with fly jokes, where laughter takes flight!
From ancient Greek philosophers recognizing humor’s therapeutic benefits to modern psychologists studying the mechanics of laughter, humor transcends time and culture.
This collection amalgamates the finest jokes about flies, drawing inspiration from humorists like Mark Twain, whose wit continues to influence comedy.
These fly jokes cater to every taste – from clean and kid-friendly to ribald and adult-themed humor.
Explore various categories like Funny, Short, One Liners, and more, promising an uproarious adventure through the world of fly jokes!
Best Fly Jokes
Embark on a laughter spree with the Best Fly Jokes. In this curated selection, enjoy timeless humor influenced by renowned comedians and expertly crafted fly-related jests, offering a flight into uncontrollable giggles.
What advice does a Mother fly give her son for the circus?
My child, be careful when they applaud!
What did the priest say to get rid of the insects in his church?
He said, “let us spray.”
Why do birds fly upside down over Alabama?
There is nothing there worth shitting on.
What has two wheels and flies?
A stinky bin!
What would a blood-sucking insect be called if it learned Latin?
It would be called a Roman-tic.
What would you call an insect that went undercover?
A spyder.
What did the rat order for lunch?
A cheese fly!
Are insect sprays good for wasps?
It’s not. It kills them.
What would you call a bug if it had four wheels and one trunk?
It’d be called A Volkswagen Beetle.
How do fireflies start a race?
Ready, set, glow!
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the Football player?
He’s the one in the Sugar Bowl!
What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird!
Why were the flies playing soccer in saucer?
They were playing for the cup!
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied ‘er!
Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. Don’t say that, sir.
Everyone will want one.
Waiter! There’s some soup on my fly!
Waiter! There is a fly in my soup!
What did you expect for this kind of price, an eagle?
Waiter, why is there a fly in my ice-cream?
Perhaps he likes winter sports.
What do you call a fly with a sore throat?
A hoarse fly!
What’s this spider doing in my soup?
I think he’s trying to catch the fly, sir.
Funny Fly Jokes
Prepare for a bellyaching experience with Funny Fly Jokes. Delight in an assortment of amusing anecdotes and whimsical observations, showcasing the lighter side of these buzzing creatures through humorous lenses.
Entomologists don’t like fly jokes.
These jokes don’t fly with them.
What do you call a fly riding in the Grand National?
A horse fly!
The fly landed and started telling jokes.
I wanted to stop him, but he was on a roll!
Why did the fly sit on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
How do flies calculate their travel time?
They use fly-clocks!
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk!
Why did the fly bring a suitcase to the airport?
It wanted to go on a bugcation!
How do flies communicate with each other?
Through buzzing social networks!
What’s a fly’s favorite game?
Buzzketball!
Why did the fly attend computer class?
It wanted to learn about web development!
What’s a fly’s favorite sport?
Fly fishing!
Why did the fly go to school?
It wanted to brush up on its spelling skills!
How do flies get around the house?
They wing it!
What’s a fly’s favorite movie genre?
Buzz-terpieces!
Why did the fly apply for a job at the zoo?
It wanted to be in the “buzziness” of wild animals!
What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?
A raisin!
How do flies stay up to date with the news?
They read the “buzz” papers!
Why did the fly go to the computer repair shop?
It had a bug in its system!
What do you call a fly with no manners?
A fly without “etiquette”!
Why did the fly bring a pencil to the party?
It wanted to draw some “fly” art!
How do flies make decisions?
They take a “buzz” vote!
What did the fly say to the mosquito?
“Quit bugging me!”
Why did the fly start a band?
It had a great set of wings!
Hilarious Fly Jokes
Enter a world of rib-tickling hilarity with Hilarious Fly Jokes. Explore the absurdity and levity of fly-related humor, promising an uproarious ride through imaginative and side-splitting jests.
Waiter, isn’t it strange I should find several flies in my soup?
It is strange at this season of the year.
Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
It’s OK, Sir, there’s no extra charge!
Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my teacup?
I wouldn’t know, sir. I’m a waiter, not a fortuneteller
Why was the fly so nervous at the fruit market?
Because he was on a date.
Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?
It’s fly soup, sir!
Waiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for $1?
A live one?
How can you tell when a moth farts?
They suddenly fly in a straight line.
Yo mama so stinky, even flies stay away from her.
Customer: Waiter, What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Swimming, sir!
Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup!
So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!
Couldn’t be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.
A fly with a bug on its back said, “Hey is that a mite?”
The mite replied, “I mite be.” The fly replied, “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard!”
The mite said, “Well I came up with it on the fly!”
Waiter, waiter, there’s a dead fly in my wine!
Oh no! I warned him not to drink and swim.
A fly is a species that gets in through the smallest hole in the room but can’t get out through an open window!
What did the bug say to its friends when it looked at its watch?
Time Flies.
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but I don’t know how they got in there.
How does the fly keep a track of its money?
It uses an account-ant!
What do you call a housefly and spider pals?
Pest friends!
What do you call an insect that can lay bricks?
A housefly!
What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
French flies and a diet groak!
What do you call a fly that has died?
A flew.
Short Fly Jokes
Experience instant amusement with Short Fly Jokes. These bite-sized quips deliver maximum laughter in minimum words, offering quick doses of fly-related mirth and amusement.
Why was the fly looking for the rubbish bin?
It was a litter bug!
How do you if a fly is an actor?
They’re always on the screen!
Which insect has the safest flight?
A stable fly.
How did the police get rid of the flies?
They called in the SWAT team!
What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
“You glow, girlfriend!”
What did the mother firefly ask the father firefly?
“Don’t you think our son is too bright for his peers?!”
Which fly directs films?
Stephen peilbug!
Yo mama so stupid, if a fly was in her head they would call it a space invader.
Which fly smells the most?
Dung fly!
What does the house fly say when a robber fly enters their locality?
We gotta ban-d-it!
How do flies keep in touch with long-distance relatives?
Through “fly” calls!
What’s a fly’s favorite genre of music?
Hip-hop!
Why are flies so good at soccer?
They have a great “buzz” for the goal!
What do you call a fly that likes to play guitar?
A rock and roll fly!
Why did the fly become a detective?
It had a knack for solving “buzz”-terious cases!
How do flies stay in shape?
They do plenty of “wing” exercises!
What’s a fly’s favorite dance move?
The wing fling!
Why did the fly go to the store?
It wanted to grab a “bite” to eat!
What do you call a fly that’s always happy?
Contentmenta-fly!
How do flies relax after a long day of buzzing around?
They kick back and enjoy the “buzz” of the evening!
Why did the fly enroll in a cooking class?
It wanted to learn how to make “fly” gourmet meals!
What’s a fly’s favorite type of music festival?
The “Buzz”-apalooza!
Why did the fly refuse to go to the beach?
It didn’t want to get caught in the “sand”-storm!
How do flies answer the phone?
“Buzz”-iness calls!
What did the fly say to its friend who was feeling down?
“Cheer up, it’s time to fly high again!”
Why did the fly bring a suitcase to the party?
It wanted to make a “buzzing” entrance!
How do flies communicate on the internet?
They use the World Wide Web!
What’s a fly’s favorite mode of transportation?
The “buzz”-cycle!
Why did the fly start a fashion blog?
It had a great sense of style at high “buzz-titudes”!
How do flies express their emotions?
Through “buzz”-ical notes!
Fly Jokes One Liners
Explore the charm of brevity with Fly Jokes One Liners. These succinct yet impactful jokes deliver humor with precision, encapsulating the essence of fly-related amusement in a single line.
What happened to the fly that was sitting on the toilet seat?
He got pissed off.
What did the spider say to the fly?
“Welcome to web.”
The gnat goes, “What do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!”
This fly is flying about a barn until he comes across a massive pile of cow poo.
“Yum!” exclaims the fly, who buzzes down to it and gorges himself until his wings can no longer carry him.
“That’s fine,” the fly thinks, “if I get some air first, I’ll be able to fly no issue.” So he finds a pitchfork resting against the barn wall and climbs all the way to the top at the handle. He launches himself off the pitchfork with a heave, flaps his wings as hard as he can, but lacks power and splats over the ground dead.
Moral: Never fly off the handle when you’re full of sh*t.
So there’s a fly and a gnat lands on its back.
The fly says, “Is there a gnat on my back?”
The gnat says, “Gnat at all.”
What do you call a fly who loves to dance in the rain?
A “mudskipper”!
Why did the fly get a job at the bakery?
It heard they had amazing “fly”-stuffed pastries!
How do flies settle arguments?
They have a “buzz” meeting to hash things out!
What’s a fly’s favorite board game?
“Flies and Ladders”!
Why did the fly become a comedian?
It had a talent for delivering “buzz”-worthy punchlines!
Clean Fly Jokes
Indulge in wholesome fun with Clean Fly Jokes. Embrace humor that’s family-friendly, ensuring laughter without worry, featuring delightful and innocent fly-related jests suitable for all ages.
What did the other fly say to his friend after it farts sitting on a poop?
Do you mind? I’m eating my lunch!
Why did the firefly keep taking things?
It was light-fingered!
What did one firefly say to its friends?
Sorry I’ve got to glow now!
What’s small than a teeny weeny fly?
A fly’s teeny weeny!
What’s a fly’s favorite pickup line?
Is this stool taken?
Why did the blind fly die of starvation?
Because he couldn’t see shit.
Why did the fly fall off the wall?
Because someone tied a piano to its leg.
What has six wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of poo in the garden!
Fly Jokes for Adults
Engage in grown-up giggles with Fly Jokes for Adults. Unveil humor tailored for mature minds, featuring fly-related jokes that bring forth amusement tinged with adult perspectives.
A police officer pulls over a farmer for speeding and issues him a penalty.
The farmer spots several flies hovering around, which irritates the officer. The officer is shooing flies rather than writing.
“I see you’re bothered by those circle flies,” the farmer observes.
“If that’s what you call them, yes, they are quite annoying,” the cop responds.
“Yeah, we call them that because we see them circling around the rear ends of horses,” the farmer explains.
The officer says, “Hmmm. Did you just refer to me as a horse’s ass?”
The farmer says, “No, sir, officer. I have much too much respect for law enforcement officers to ever utter such a thing.”
He further adds,” But… it’s difficult to fool those circle flies.”
Do you know that you catch more flies with honey?
But you catch more honeys by being fly.
A woman enters a store on a hot summer morning, takes up a can of fly spray, and inquires, ‘Is this any good for flies?’
“Not really,” says the assistant. “It kills them.”
What could be worse than discovering a fly in your soup?
Getting hit by a bus.
When a woman entered the kitchen, she discovered her husband lurking about with a fly swatter.
“What are you up to?” she inquired.
“Fly Hunting.” He replied.
“Oh, you’re killing any?” she inquired.
“Yep, three males and two females,” he said.
“How can you tell them apart?” she inquired, intrigued.
“3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the phone,” he replied.
Mahatma Gandhi would never hurt a fly.
Honestly, he should have chosen a different exterminator.
How do you get a pound of meat out of a fly?
Unzip it.
What happens when there is a fly in your home?
You call the SWAT team.
A wolf hound is being buzzed by a fly.
Fly: What breed of dog are you?
Dog: My breed is a wolf hound.
Fly: What? A wolfhound? Unusual name. Why are they calling you that?
Dog: Well, it’s pretty clear, I suppose. My father was a wolf, and my mother was a hound.
Fly: Oh, I see…
Dog: So, what type of fly are you?
Fly: My name is a horse-fly.
What did the procrastinating spider say to the fly?
“Catch ya later!”
Two flies walk into a bar.
The first fly says, “Waiter, I’ll have the poop with onions.”
The second fly says, “I’ll also have the poop but with no onions. Onions make my breath smell bad.”
Ben was walking down the street when he noticed a lady shouting at him.
“Hello!” Ben exclaimed.
“Wait a minute, your fly is down!” She yelled.
Ben returned his attention to his pet fly. “What’s the deal, dude? You can always reach out to me.”
Fly says, “Oh, it’s been a difficult week. My wife abandoned me. I lost my job, and having your junk out doesn’t make this talk any easier.”
How do flies and mosquitoes differ from one another?
A mosquito can fly, but fly can’t mosquito.
Fly Jokes for Kids
Delight in innocent giggles with Fly Jokes for Kids. Experience fly-related jokes designed to tickle the funny bones of younger audiences, ensuring wholesome entertainment for the little ones.
You catch more flies with honey…
But you catch more honey by being fly.
What do you call a fly that loses its wings and four legs?
A draggin fly.
There was a fly in my home.
So I called the SWAT team.
What did the fly’s mum say to its grumpy child?
What’s bugging you?
What did the fly reply to the man when enquired about sitting on his popcorn during movie night?
I liked the book, bro!
What’s the most slippery insect?
A butter-fly!
The life expectancy of houseflies is generally 15 to 30 days.
It spends most of it trolling you!
Fly Jokes and Puns
Embrace the wordplay and wit with Fly Jokes and Puns. Discover a trove of clever and pun-filled humor centered around flies, offering a delightful blend of linguistic jests and laughter-inducing scenarios.
Did you hear about the experiment where they taught insects how to use Microsoft office?
The entire thing was Excel Ant.
What do you call a hybrid insect that doesn’t talk to anyone?
A mute-ant.
Recently, I made a few jokes about insects on the fly.
There’s a similarity between a baseball player and a spider.
They can both catch a fly.
A’s are actually like flowers.
It’s because the bee’s usually come after them.
What’s an insect’s favorite letter?
B.
What do you call an insect that is always dissatisfied with its life?
A grumble bee.
What insect always wears tiny sneakers?
The Shoo flies.
Today I saw a rabbit that had beetles all over it.
It was a Bugs Bunny.
There is a variety of bugs even smarter than talking parrots.
They are the spelling bees.
A dog was talking to a flea that was on his back.
It said, “stop bugging me.”
What does an insect with a stinger say after a meal?
It says, “that was beelicious.”
What insect is bad at football?
The fumblebee.
Why does every military base have very few insects?
Military bases are no-fly zones.
What do we call that one insect that bites during worship?
We call them Mosque-itos.
Final Thoughts
Hilarious fly jokes offer a kaleidoscope of laughter, encapsulating the whimsical world of fly-related humor.
As you giggle your way through these jokes about flies, consider sharing your favorites in the comments below.
Laughter unites us, transcending barriers and fostering a sense of camaraderie.
So, whether you’re seeking a chuckle-inducing break or looking to brighten someone’s day, these jokes about flies serve as the perfect comedic escape.
Keep the laughter buzzing and the comments flowing, creating a space filled with joy and shared amusement.
Dive in, laugh heartily, and spread the infectious joy these fly jokes bring!
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