Amidst the harmonious strums of guitars lies a realm of humor waiting to be plucked.
As renowned experts have suggested, laughter is akin to music for the soul.
From esteemed universities to extensive research, the resonance of guitar jokes has been a subject of fascination.
As Albert Einstein once quipped, ‘The only thing that beats a good theory is a good joke.’
In this compilation, spanning the spectrum from classic to dirty, we dive into the world of guitar-centric humor.
From revered musicians’ jests to the finest stand-up comedians, jokes about guitars have resonated throughout history.
Now, let’s explore various categories of jokes about guitar.
Best Guitar Jokes
In the world of guitar jokes, the ‘best’ is strummed by the finest blend of wit and humor. Delve into this collection where the funniest guitar-themed jokes await to strike a chord of amusement and leave you tuning into laughter.
What’s the difference between a guitar player and a bag of guitar strings?
The bag of strings will cover more gigs.
What do you call a guitarist who breaks a string during a performance?
A professional string breaker.
Why does an electric guitar player leave his case on the dashboard?
So he can park in the handicapped zone.
How many electric guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change it and four to discuss how Eric Clapton would have done it.
How do you make a chain saw sound like an electric guitar?
Add vibrato.
If you took all the electric guitar players in the world and laid them end-to-end, it would be a heck of a good idea.
What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
One eventually matures and earns money.
Why did the guitarist get in trouble at school?
He kept pulling strings.
What’s the difference between a guitar player and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been a Porsche.
How do you get two electric guitar players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one of them.
What’s the difference between an electric guitar and an acoustic guitar?
The electric guitar burns longer.
What do vacuum cleaners and electric guitars have in common?
When you plug them in, they suck.
What’s the difference between a lawnmower and an electric guitar?
You can tune a lawnmower.
How many bluegrass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They won’t touch anything electric.
Why is an electric guitar like a SCUD missile?
Each is offensive and inaccurate.
How do you get an electric guitarist to turn down his amp?
Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
What’s the difference between an electric guitar and a trampoline?
You remove your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.
What do you call an “in-tune electric guitar”?
An oxymoron.
Why did the guitar teacher go to jail?
For fingering A minor!
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
Five – one to change it, and four to say they could have done it better.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A guitarist.
Why did the guitar break up with the piano?
It couldn’t handle the keys!
What’s a guitarist’s favorite kind of car?
A Fender-bender!
Why did the guitar go to therapy?
It had too many strings attached!
Funny Guitar Jokes
Laughter becomes music to the ears with these funny guitar jokes. From clever quips to witty anecdotes, this selection is guaranteed to pluck your funny bone and leave you strumming with joy.
How do you know someone’s a really good guitarist?
He’ll tell you!
What’s the difference between a guitar and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
What did the guitarist do when he wanted to turn his amp on?
He caressed it slowly and told it that he loved it.
What’s the difference between a deadbeat and a guitarist?
Nothing.
How do you make a guitarist turn his amp down?
Put the sheet music in front of him.
What’s the difference between a guitarist and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a guitarist.
What’s black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A guitarist who’s told too many drummer jokes.
How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1000. 1 to do it and 999 to say I could have done that.
What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
Pick on someone your own size!
How do you reduce wind drag on a guitarist’s car?
Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof.
Why did they call the new guy the prison guitarist?
He was always behind a few bars and can never find the right keys.
How do you make a guitarist’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in his ear.
What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
How do you make a guitarist’s car more aerodynamic?
Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof!
What did the guitarist say after playing a complicated piece?
That was note-worthy!
How does a guitarist answer the phone?
Hello, this is string-speaking.
Why did the guitar bring a ladder to the gig?
It wanted to reach the high notes!
What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of humor?
Anything with a good riff!
Hilarious Guitar Jokes
Prepare for a symphony of laughter! These hilarious guitar jokes promise to hit all the right notes. With rib-tickling humor and clever twists, get ready to rock and roll with uncontrollable laughter.
What’s the difference between a guitarist and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Did you hear about the European country ruled by small guitars?
I think it’s called Uke-reign.
How do you get a guitarist to stop practicing?
Put sheet music in front of them.
What do you call a guitarist who can play more than three chords?
Overqualified.
What do you call a guitar moving?
Walk and roll.
How do you tell if a guitar shop is shady?
The employees tell you “There are no strings attached.”
Why was the guitar player arrested?
Because they got in treble!
What is the definition of an optimist?
A guitar player with a business card.
Free air guitar to the first person who will contact me.
No strings attached.
I messed up during a guitar recital.
I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it turned out to A Major mistake.
I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m listening to music in 4/4.
Hi, I’m here to tune your guitar. I didn’t call a guitar tuner.
Yeah, I know, but the neighbors called.
What do you call a female police officer who plays the guitar?
SHE RIFF.
Why was the guitarist late for work?
He got caught in a jam.
How can you tell when your guitarist is out of tune?
His hand starts moving.
Every time I see a white guy with a guitar at a party I ask myself…
I Wonderwall he’s going to play?
What do you call a guitarist that never finishes a job?
A guitar.
Short Guitar Jokes
Sometimes, brevity is the soul of wit. Dive into this collection of succinct yet side-splitting guitar jokes that pack a punch, delivering quick doses of mirth in just a few strums of humor.
Why was the amplifier invented?
So the guitarist would have a place to put his beer.
What’s the first thing a guitarist says when he knocks on your door?
“Pizza!”
You know I really want a new guitar.
But for now, I’m too baroque.
A young child told his mother “When I grow up I’m going to be a guitarist.”
His mother responded, “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”
How does a guitarist greet another guitarist?
“I’m better than you”
What’s the definition of an optimist?
A guitarist with a mortgage.
A man asks the devil: “How much does it cost to be the greatest guitar player in the world?”
The devil says: “Give me your soul.”
How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to tell you how much better they would have done it.
I’m learning guitar and I asked my dad if he had any song requests.
He replied, “Can you play far far away?”
What do you call a successful guitarist?
A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.
How do you make a guitar player’s car more aerodynamic?
Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof.
What do a guitar and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
How did the guitarist break his neck?
He ran his pickup into the bridge and broke his neck.
What do you call a bunch of guitarists in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
Guitar Jokes One Liners
Discover the art of concise hilarity in this compilation of guitar jokes one-liners. Each joke, a gem in its brevity, ensures maximum amusement in minimum words, perfect for a quick laugh.
What’s the difference between an electric guitar and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up an electric guitar.
If you drop an electric guitar player and a guitar off a tall building, which would hit the ground first?
Who cares?
What is the first sign you’re hallucinating?
Two electric guitar players are playing in tune.
How do you make an electric guitar sound like an acoustic guitar?
Sit in the back and don’t play.
Why do lead guitarists walk around the stage when they play?
To get away from the sound.
What do you call a “clean shot”?
When you can throw an electric guitar into the toilet without hitting the seat.
What’s the range for an electric guitar?
About 20 yards if you have a good arm.
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else’s light.
How do you tell if an electric guitar is out of tune?
If the strings are vibrating.
What do you call two electric guitarists trying to play in unison?
Counterpoint.
How does a lead guitarist change a light bulb?
He holds it and the world revolves around him.
What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What’s the definition of a minor second?
Two lead guitarists playing in unison.
Classic Guitar Jokes
Enter a world where timeless humor meets the chords of classic tunes. These enduring guitar jokes have stood the test of time, offering a nostalgic yet evergreen source of laughter.
Why don’t classical guitarists ever get sunburned?
Because they’re always in the shade of their guitar.
Why did the classical guitarist get kicked out of the library?
He was too busy fretting over the music books.
What’s the difference between a classical guitarist and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
Why do classical guitarists make terrible detectives?
They can never find the right key.
Why did the classical guitarist refuse to play electric guitar?
He didn’t want to get caught up in a power chord.
Why is a classical guitarist like a squirrel?
They both spend their lives foraging for nuts.
Why did the classical guitarist get a job at a bakery?
Because he needed to practice his rolls and trills.
Why do classical guitarists always keep their nails long?
So they can pick up the tab.
How many classical guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’re too busy arguing about the proper fingerings.
What did the classical guitarist say after a terrible performance?
I guess I just didn’t pluck up the courage.
How does a classical guitarist keep their guitar warm in the winter?
With handel warmers.
What do you call a classical guitarist who only knows one song?
A one-string wonder.
Why is playing classical guitar like fishing?
You have to learn how to do it right, or you’ll just end up stringing yourself along.
Why did the classical guitarist go to therapy?
To resolve their unresolved dissonances.
What do you call a classical guitarist who’s always tuning their instrument?
A perfectionist.
Why did the classical guitarist get in trouble with the police?
He was caught fingering a minor.
How can you tell if a classical guitarist is about to play?
They spend 30 minutes tuning their guitar and adjusting their footstool.
What do you call a classical guitarist who’s never in tune?
A guitarist.
What do you get when you cross a classical guitarist with a computer?
An error in plucking.
Guitar Jokes for Adults
Find humor with a touch of sophistication in this collection tailored for adults. These guitar jokes for adults strike the right balance between wit and charm, offering a delightful laugh for grown-ups.
It’s your birthday?
Guit outta here.
What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?
A quitar.
I used to hate my guitar lessons I always fretted going to them.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering A minor.
Just had a guy threaten to attack me with the neck of a guitar.
I asked him, “Is that a fret?”
Dracula with a guitar: “Anyvays here’s vondervall.”
Why can’t Woody play his guitar?
He doesn’t know where his Pixar.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
How can you tell a guitarist is worried?
He frets a lot.
Why couldn’t the fisherman play his guitar?
Because he lost his tuna.
I bought a guitar the other day but it doesn’t work.
Guess I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached.
Nice guitar, is it a strat?
Did you just assume my Fender?
I insulted my wife’s new telecaster. I knew that would off-Fender.
U2’s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them.
It certainly takes the Edge off them.
I always write sad music with my guitar I guess that’s why they call it a fretboard.
Guitar Jokes for Kids
Kid-friendly and fun-packed, these guitar jokes cater to the young audience. Featuring clean humor and playful quips, these jokes are sure to bring smiles to the faces of budding musicians.
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
Why do guitarists tour the most in the summer?
So they can visit all their kids.
What’s the difference between a guitar & a ukulele?
It only takes you half as long to burn a ukulele.
What do you call a guitar player with half a brain?
Gifted.
How does a guitar player show up for practice?
Drunk and late as usual.
How do you know it’s a guitarist at the door?
He starts arguing with the door.
How do you get a million dollars?
Start with 2 million and try to make a living playing the guitar.
What’s the difference between an extra-large pizza and a guitar player?
The pizza will feed a family of four.
Did you hear about the guitar player that was stressed?
He was strung out!
What does a guitar player say when he gets to his gig?
Would you like fries with that?
Do you know what’s the difference between a guitarist and a sofa?
The sofa can support a family.
How many “deadheads” does it take to change a light bulb?
They don’t change it. They just wait for it to burn out, and then they follow it around for 30 years.
What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a guitarist?
A tattoo.
How does a guitar player change a light bulb?
He lies on the bed so that the room is spinning around it.
Why are so many guitar players jokes one-liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.
What does the radio host say to their guitar every night?
Stay tuned!
Guitar Jokes and Puns
Prepare for a symphony of wordplay and clever jests in this collection of guitar jokes and puns. From riff-tastic puns to strum-thing special, this compilation promises a tuneful laugh.
Something a guitarist would never say: “Man, I really would rather be a bass player.”
What do you call a bass player with a job?
The pizza delivery boy.
A bass guitar and an oboe had an affair.
It was very low-key.
What kind of fish plays the guitar?
Bassist.
Why did Darth Vader search the guitar shop?
To find the hidden rebel bass.
Why don’t bass players tell blonde jokes?
They don’t understand them.
Why can’t bass players get through a door?
He either can’t find the key, or he doesn’t know when to come in!
What’s the difference between a bass and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a bass.
How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The lead player can do it with his teeth.
Why don’t bass players like dating guitar players?
Too much treble.
How do you know when there’s a bass guitarist at the door?
He doesn’t know when to come in.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t matter, bass players are never in the light anyway.
What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
Imma slap the F out of you… said the bass player to his bass guitar.
What do you do with a bad guitar player?
You give them a bass.
Final Thoughts
In concluding this comedic symphony of guitar jokes, it’s evident that humor, like music, unites us in joyous resonance.
As you strum through these witty anecdotes and rib-tickling punchlines, consider sharing your favorite joke—let laughter be the bridge that connects us all.
So, make every day melodious with laughter, weaving the chords of humor into the fabric of life.
Remember, whether it’s the simplicity of a one-liner or the complexity of a pun, the universal language of laughter echoes through all ages and stages.
Join the conversation below, and together, let’s keep this harmonious melody of jokes about guitar playing in our hearts and conversations.
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