Laughter is the best medicine, they say.
Delving into the world of humor, even the slightly inappropriate, can be a therapeutic experience.
Backed by renowned experts and scientific studies that attest to the positive effects of humor on mental well-being, our inappropriate jokes promise a tasteful blend of wit and wisdom.
This journey into dirty jokes is not just entertainment; it is a scientifically supported laughter prescription.
So let’s get right into them.
Slightly Inappropriate Jokes
Looking for a touch of risqué humor? Delve into a realm of slightly inappropriate jokes that toe the line between edgy and hilarious. From cheeky punchlines to eyebrow-raising humor, brace yourself for a chuckle-inducing ride!
What does a perverted frog say?
Rubbit.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name?
Papa Boner.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What are the three shortest words in the English language?
Is it in?
Why is diarrhea hereditary?
It runs in your genes.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
What does Pinocchio’s lover say to him?
Lie to me! Lie to me!
Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough.
From, Pluto.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
A naked man broke into a church.
The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off.
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells.
What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
A glad-he-ate-her.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
It’s not what it looks like.
Why did Jesus die a virgin?
Every single wound he touched closed up.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Knock Knock Inappropriate Jokes
Open the door to a world of cheeky humor with our inappropriate knock knock jokes. Crafted for the bold jesters seeking a touch of naughtiness, these quips guarantee a side-splitting entrance into the realm of laughter.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Master,
Master who,
Master baiter.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Mike,
Mike who?
Mike Weiner.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Mike,
Mike who?
Mike Oxlong.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Lover,
Lover who?
It’s me,
How many lovers do you have?
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
The mechanic,
The mechanic who?
I heard you wanted a rim job.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Fire!,
Fire who?
It’s not that bad,
I just need someone to blow me.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Harry,
Harry who?
Harry Anus.
Knock Knock,
Who’s there?
Black Beard,
Black Beard who?
Black Beard the Pirate because I got that booty.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Pat, Pat who?
Pat Myas.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Please pray for,
Please pray for who?
Me, I can only do the missionary position.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
The dentist,
The dentist who?
I heard you had some cavities that needed filling.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
The seamstress,
The seamstress who?
I’m just trying to get the carpet to match the drapes.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Heywood,
Heywood who?
Heywood Jablowme.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Tag, tag who?
I thought you said you wanted to be chaste.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Ivana,
Ivana who?
Ivana lay you.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
The waitress,
The waitress who,
I just needed the tip.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Justin,
Justin who?
Justin time for something naughty.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
I’m poor knee,
I’m poor knee who?
I guess we have to do something about that.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Ivana,
Ivana who?
Ivana have a good time.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Toot toot,
Toot toot who?
No one,
I was actually just motorboating.
Inappropriate Jokes One Liners
Embark on a quick-witted journey with our Inappropriate Jokes One Liners. Expertly curated for those who appreciate humor that packs a punch in just a single line, this collection promises to tickle your funny bone with wit and brevity.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Someone asked the other day how you spell scrotum, I replied you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A master baiter.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?
A man.
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
He could see the snowblower coming.
What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?
A dictator.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
How is virginity like a soap bubble?
One prick and it’s gone.
Why do walruses love a Tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it.
While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time.
The penguin isn’t the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream.
When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, Looks like you blew a seal. No, the penguin insists, it’s just ice cream.
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
Why can’t you hear rabbits making love?
Because they have cotton balls.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Short Inappropriate Jokes
Get ready for a punchy dose of laughter with our Short Inappropriate Jokes. In this concise compilation, we’ve condensed humor to its pure essence, ensuring you experience a burst of amusement in a matter of seconds.
What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You have sex with her.
What did one of the sex worker’s knees say to the other?
How come we spend so little time together?
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won’t stop to ask for directions.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!
I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.
What’s the best part about sex with a hundred twenty year olds?
There are a hundred of them.
Inappropriate Jokes for Adults
Indulge in mature humor with our Inappropriate Jokes for Adults. Carefully selected to cater to a discerning audience, this collection offers a blend of wit and sophistication, providing a delightful escape into the world of grown-up amusement.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you eat that stuff, you’ll eat anything.
A family’s driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield.
Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, Don’t worry, dear.
That was just an insect. Wow, the boy replies. I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, I think you have the wrong room. You put in my husband’s teeth last week, she replied. Now you have to remove them.
What’s long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the Frog’s fingers.
Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office.
The doctor walks in and says, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating. I don’t understand, doc, the patient says. Why? Because, the doctor says. I’m trying to examine you.
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?
A beaver dam.
Give it to me! Give it to me! she yelled. I’m so wet, give it to me now!
She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time, a husband says to his wife.
She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, Your penis is bigger than your brother’s.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband, and says, I shaved down there; you know what that means.
The husband responds, Yeah, the drain is clogged.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth, the woman told her dentist.
He replied, Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
What do you do when your cat’s dead?
Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.
What’s the difference between your penis and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopus.
What do tofu and dildos have in common?
They are both meat substitutes.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What’s the difference between a sex worker and a drug dealer?
A sex worker could wash her crack and resell it.
How is playing bridge similar to sex?
If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
What do you call someone with a small penis?
Justin!
What’s the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?
Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Want to hear a joke about my penis?
Nevermind. It’s too long.
What do you do if your partner starts smoking?
Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.
Doctor: Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.
Patient: I don’t understand, doc. Why?
Doctor: Because I’m trying to examine you.
Inappropriate Jokes for Him
Tailored for the discerning tastes of the male audience, our Inappropriate Jokes for Him deliver a dose of humor that resonates with masculine sensibilities. Brace yourself for laughter that understands him like no other.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
They are used to eating just.
How do you make a pool table laugh?
Tickle its balls.
What’s the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it we’re closed.
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Why does Santa have a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking?
She’s gonna eat me!
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum!
What’s long, hard, and full of semen?
A submarine!
Inappropriate Jokes for Her
Celebrate the spirit of womanhood with our Inappropriate Jokes for Her. Designed to resonate with the feminine perspective, this collection ensures a laughter-filled escape tailored for the discerning sensibilities of women.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What does a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
Both have a wet nose.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
The man.
Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?
She just couldn’t take it any longer.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What do you get when you jingle a man’s balls?
A white Christmas.
What is a long, wide thing that men carry hanging in front of it?
Tie.
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married?
The wedding ring.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What do women and noodles have in common?
Both wiggle when you eat them.
What is furry and peeking out of your pajamas at night?
Your head.
What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.
It goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet. What is it?
A bubblegum.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Hair on the top and hair on the bottom, in the middle a wet slit, what is it?
The eye.
What did the clitoris say to the vulva?
It’s all good in the hood!
What did the leper say to the sex worker?
Keep the tip.
Inappropriate Jokes and Puns
Delight in the marriage of wit and wordplay with our Inappropriate Jokes and Puns. This collection promises a harmonious blend of clever humor, ensuring every punchline leaves you amused and appreciative of the artistry behind a well-crafted pun.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?
Together, we can stop this crap.
How is life like toilet paper?
You’re either on a roll or taking s*** from someone.
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.
How do you make coffee in a toilet?
With a plunger.
What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
Why was the old toilet always flushed?
Everyone kept yanking his chain.
How are men like diapers?
They’re usually full of s***, but thankfully disposable.
What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
How is a boyfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the s*** out of you.
Final Thoughts
In the grand tapestry of life, laughter weaves the threads of joy, and in exploring the realms of inappropriate jokes, we’ve embraced humor in its daring forms.
We encourage you to join this laughter-filled conversation by sharing your thoughts, favorite dirty jokes.
In the spirit of camaraderie, let the laughter resonate, breaking down barriers and fostering connections through the shared language of mirth.
After all, in the realm of humor, no topic is off-limits, and with every inappropriate joke, we celebrate the timeless tradition of finding joy in unexpected places.
Keep the laughter alive, and may your days be adorned with unabashed hilarity!
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