Our Shrek jokes are the perfect addition to a casual get-together with friends – light, entertaining, and sure to spark some chuckles.
These jokes about Shrek are the perfect escape from the daily grind – casual, relatable, and ready to sprinkle a little humor into your day.
You won’t be disappointed – these jokes are the real ogre deal!
Scroll down to read the jokes, and let the good times begin!
Best Shrek Jokes
Dive into the swamp of humor with the best Shrek jokes! These ogre-tastic quips will have you laughing like a donkey in no time.
What do you call Shrek’s smartphone?
Ogre-tel.
Why did Shrek go to art school?
To brush up on his “Farqua-draw.”
What’s Shrek’s favorite dessert?
Layered swamp cake.
How does Shrek keep his garden tidy?
He uses ogre-ganic weed ogre-killer.
Why did Shrek start a band?
He wanted to rock the ogre-world.
What’s Shrek’s favorite mode of transportation?
The “Ogre-land Express.”
Why did Shrek refuse to play cards with the other fairytale characters?
He didn’t want to “deal” with their tricks.
What do you call Shrek’s funky dance moves?
The ogre-groove.
What’s Shrek’s favorite Shakespeare play?
“Much Ado About Onions.”
What’s Shrek’s go-to exercise routine?
Ogre-cise.
Why did Shrek open a bakery?
He kneaded dough like an ogre-pro.
What did Shrek say when he discovered a treasure chest?
“Ogre the moon!”
Why did Shrek win the spelling bee?
He had an ogre-sized vocabulary.
Why did Shrek start a recycling program in his swamp?
He wanted to be an eco-ogre.
What’s Shrek’s favorite genre of music?
Ogrechestra.
Why did Shrek always carry a map?
He didn’t want to get ogre-lost.
What did Shrek say when he found a four-leaf clover?
“Ogre-lucky!”
Why did Shrek become a hairstylist?
He had a knack for giving ogre-dorable makeovers.
What’s Shrek’s favorite superhero?
The “Incredible Hulkgre.”
Why did Shrek refuse to play hide-and-seek with Donkey?
He knew he’d be “ogre-spotted” immediately.
What’s Shrek’s favorite sport?
Ogre-ball.
Why did Shrek start a comedy club?
He loved to crack ogre-jokes.
What did Shrek say to his onion when it made him cry?
“You’re really ogre-the-top!”
Why did Shrek open a pet store?
He wanted to help others find their perfect ogre-pet.
What’s Shrek’s favorite dance move?
The “Ogre twirl.”
Why did Shrek take up gardening?
He wanted to grow his own ogre-ganic vegetables.
What did Shrek say to the dragon when it sneezed?
“Bless you, you fiery ogre-breather!”
What’s Shrek’s favorite game?
“Ogre-opoly.”
Why did Shrek join a gym?
He wanted to get ogre-strong.
What did Shrek say when he discovered a treasure chest full of cheese?
“Ogrejoy!”
What’s Shrek’s favorite holiday?
“Ogre-ween.”
Why did Shrek become a teacher?
He loved sharing ogre-knowledge with others.
What’s Shrek’s favorite game show?
“Who wants to be an Ogre-llionaire?”
Why did Shrek start a rock band with his friends?
They wanted to be the “Ogre Rolling Stones.”
What’s Shrek’s favorite outdoor activity?
Ogre-fishing.
Why did Shrek open a coffee shop?
He loved brewing ogre-cappuccinos.
What did Shrek say to Donkey when he made a bad joke?
“That was ogre-rible.”
Why did Shrek become a tour guide?
He knew all the ogre-est places to visit.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of cheese?
Ogre-gouda.
Why did Shrek start a painting class?
He wanted to teach others how to create ogre-tistic masterpieces.
What did Shrek say when he found a rare gemstone?
“This is ogre-the-top amazing!”
Why did Shrek start a spa?
He wanted everyone to experience ogre-laxation.
Why did Shrek start a cooking show?
He had a flair for ogre-culinary delights.
What did Shrek say to Fiona on their wedding day?
“You’ve made me ogre-whelmed with happiness.”
What’s Shrek’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Ogre-nilla.
Why did Shrek become a lifeguard?
He wanted to keep the ogre-swimmers safe.
What did Shrek say when he saw a rainbow?
“That’s ogre-the-top beautiful.”
Why did Shrek become a therapist?
He had a talent for ogre-coming emotional challenges.
Why did Shrek start a gardening club?
He loved ogre-ganizing outdoor activities.
What did Shrek say when he met a friendly ogre from a different kingdom?
“Ogrejoy meeting you, friend!”
Why did Shrek start a woodworking business?
He had a knack for carving ogre-namental sculptures.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of music to dance to?
Ogre-iental beats.
Why did Shrek become a weather forecaster?
He could predict ogre-casts with accuracy.
What did Shrek say to Donkey when he wanted to ride on his back?
“Hop on, my little ogre-rider.”
Why did Shrek become a beekeeper?
He loved the sound of buzzing ogre-hives.
What’s Shrek’s favorite kind of cookie?
Ogre-oatmeal.
Why did Shrek start a stand-up comedy club?
He had a talent for delivering ogre-the-top punchlines.
What did Shrek say when he entered a haunted house?
“This place is ogre-fully spooky!”
Why did Shrek open a bakery for pastries?
He wanted to make ogre-clairs and ogre-donuts.
What’s Shrek’s favorite form of exercise?
Ogre-robics.
Why did Shrek become a therapist for fairy tale creatures?
He wanted to help them ogre-come their fears.
What did Shrek say when he found a hidden treasure?
“This is an ogre-tastic discovery!”
Why did Shrek start a furniture store?
He loved ogre-ganizing home decor.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of shoe?
Ogre-thopedic footwear.
Why did Shrek open a bookstore?
He had an ogre-sized collection of ogre-lit novels.
What did Shrek say to Fiona on their anniversary?
“You still make my ogre-heart flutter.”
Why did Shrek become a lifecoach?
He wanted to help others find their ogre-purpose.
What’s Shrek’s favorite game to play at parties?
Ogre-charades.
Why did Shrek become a sculptor?
He loved shaping ogre-ganic masterpieces out of clay.
What did Shrek say to Donkey when he was being stubborn?
“Stop being such an ogre-donkey!”
Why did Shrek become a magician?
He had a talent for pulling ogre-sized surprises out of his hat.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of pasta?
Ogre-ghetti.
Why did Shrek open a dance studio?
He wanted to teach ogre-enthusiasts how to waltz and ogre-anize.
What did Shrek say to Donkey when he couldn’t find his keys?
“Donkey, you’re driving me ogre the edge!”
Why did Shrek start a bakery specializing in pies?
He wanted to create ogre-licious “Shrek’s Pies.”
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of fish?
Ogre-ster.
Why did Shrek start a poetry club?
He loved sharing ogre-inspiring verses with fellow wordsmiths.
What did Shrek say when he saw a breathtaking sunset?
“That’s ogre-the-top beautiful, just like Fiona.”
Why did Shrek become a locksmith?
He had a knack for opening ogre-locked doors.
Why did Shrek start a car dealership?
He had a nose for ogre-tastic deals.
What did Shrek say when Donkey tried to sing a high note?
“Donkey, that’s ogre the top!”
Why did Shrek become a baker?
He loved kneading dough and creating ogre-doughnuts.
What’s Shrek’s favorite genre of movies?
Ogre-thrillers.
Why did Shrek become a motivational speaker?
He had an ogre-whelming amount of wisdom to share.
What did Shrek say to the fairy godmother when she offered him a wish?
“I’m ogre it, thanks.”
Why did Shrek start a winery?
He had a talent for producing ogre-ganic wines.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of weather?
Ogre-cast.
Why did Shrek start a perfume line?
He wanted to create ogre-iginal scents.
What did Shrek say when Donkey complimented his cooking?
“It’s ogre-dinary.”
Funny Shrek Jokes
Feeling swamped? Well, these jokes will have you laughing like Donkey!
So, get ready to relive the magic and chuckle your way through some orgastic humor!
Why did Shrek switch his movie night plans from an Ogre to a rain Shrek?
Because the weather wasn’t looking good, and he wanted to stay in.
What kind of party did Lord Farquaad, Gingy, and the three blind mice have?
It was a small gathering.
Why are animated movies with ogres Shrek-tacular?
Because they add an extra layer of fun!
Who is the well-known monster respected by Shrek?
Frankenstein, he’s well-liked in Shrek’s circle.
What happened when an ogre destroyed a train?
It became a complete train “Shrek”-wreck.
What food makes Shrek cry?
Onions, but Donkey added to the tears with a potato toss!
What kind of man is Lord Farquaad?
He’s a rare kind of man, indeed.
What’s Shrek’s opinion of his new ogre neighbors in the swamp?
He finds it a little “over the to Shrek” with all the new dwellings.
What did Shrek say to the kids at bedtime?
“Put your pajamas on; it’s time to play!”
How did Shrek feel when Fergus, Farkle, and Felicia were born?
He felt “ogre-happy” about it.
What did Shrek say when Donkey had a leg injury and was covered in swamp muck?
“Donkey stinks, winks, and wonks.”
What did Shrek say when he was preoccupied with his work?
“I’ve changed.”
What did Shrek yell when he was thrown overboard?
“Help! Ogre-board!”
What poetic words did Shrek use to express his love to Fiona?
“You have me head over heels in love.”
What did Shrek say to Lord Farquaad during the limbo competition?
“How could you be so rude?”
What was Princess Fiona’s reaction when Shrek asked his entire family to stay?
“I’m overwhelmed like an ogre.”
What does Donkey say when he wins in chess?
“Shrek, buddy.”
What did Princess Fiona say when the ogre triplets were incredibly quiet?
“I should go Shrek on them now.”
What makes Lord Farquaad constantly angry?
He has a short fuse.
What did Donkey say to Shrek during his meltdown?
“You are resembling Ogre.”
How did Princess Fiona respond to Lord Farquaad’s critique of Shrek?
“Wow, you’ve really gone too far.”
In which month did Shrek make his debut?
Oct-ogre.
What kind of outfit does Shrek prefer to wear?
The ogrecoat.
How do Shrek’s eggs taste when he wakes up?
Ogre simple.
Why couldn’t Shrek exit his swamp?
He was under martial law, so he couldn’t leave.
Where are the DVDs, dad?
Dad: “I don’t know. That Ogre.”
What’s your opinion of Shrek as a movie?
Some might say it’s “Mutton ogre.”
What makes Shrek, Fiona, and their kids unique?
They’re just a family going about their meager lives.
What’s the highest chance of killing you during a Shrek movie marathon?
Ogre dosage.
Why did your girlfriend threaten to leave you during No Nut November?
Because you watched Shrek and couldn’t resist singing along.
What source does Shrek use to get his news?
It’s a joke.
How good of a cook is Shrek?
His cooking skills are quite average.
What did Shrek say when he fell off a boat?
“Ogreboard.”
Why did nobody want to be near Shrek?
He had a monstrous body.
What does Fiona allow Shrek to do on February 14th?
“Break Mouth.”
What happened when you brought up Shrek in bed?
She threatened to leave, and you realized she wasn’t joking.
How do you feel about the passing years?
It’s incredible how the years just keep coming and going.
What makes Princess Fiona’s basketball skills subpar?
Her coach was an onion!
Why was Gingy robbed?
Due to all of his money.
What party game is Donkey’s favorite?
“Put the Ogre’s tail on.”
What do Rumpelstiltskin and Lord Farquaad have in common?
They’re both really short!
Hilarious Shrek Jokes
Prepare to side-split with laughter like you just heard Lord Farquaad sing! These hilarious Shrek jokes are about to take you on a laugh riot.
I heard that Shrek’s coming to our town
I know this because someBODY once told me!
How to get beaten up by the Shrek community
Step 1. Say ” Shrek the third wasn’t that bad.”
Step 2. Wait for every Shrek fan to chase after you.
Shrek was furious when all the fairy tale creatures were forced onto his swamp
It was Marsh Madness!
Why did no one want to be near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre
If Shrek had been an average movie, it would’ve been Mediogre.
“How would blind people watch Shrek?”
Interviewer: “I meant any question about the job.”
How does Shrek like his eggs?
Ogre easy.
When my wife threatened a divorce because of my obsession with the Shrek soundtrack, I thought she was joking.
But then I saw her face.
What do you call someone who likes both Shrek and Fiona?
BiShreksual.
What’s donkey from Shrek’s favorite Bruce Lee movie?
Enter the dragon.
What did Shrek use to propose to Fiona?
An onion ring.
Who is gordon ramsay’s favorite Shrek character?
Donkey
There are children being born whose parents weren’t alive when Shrek was released in 2001
It’s crazy how the years start coming and they simply don’t stop coming.
What does Fiona let Shrek do on Valentine’s Day?
Smash Mouth.
What do you call it when Shrek gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
A Pondering thought on Shrek
Do you think Shrek ever told fiona that he was head ogre heels for her?
What is Shrek’s favorite food?
Ogert!
What do you call it when Shrek falls off a boat?
Ogreboard.
Shrek isn’t a very good cook.
He’s pretty mediogre.
Which European country did Fiona and Shrek go to for their honeymoon?
The Shrek Republic.
My wife said she’d divorce me if I kept making Shrek puns
I told her to get ogre it
What did the lazy dog say when Shrek surprised him?
Oh, grr.
My friend tried to make me watch Shrek.
But I find it ogrerated.
What did Shrek say when he tripped over Donkey?
Sorry, didn’t see you ogre there.
I’m quite disappointed with the lack of Shrek jokes in this sub
And I don’t think I’ll ever get ogre it
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What the food critic say after eating Shrek?
“He was just meaty ogre”
My friend told me to stop singing “I’m a believer” from Shrek, I thought she was joking…..
And then I saw her face.
I loved the first Shrek movie.
The second one was mediogre.
What’s it called when too many animals move into Shrek’s swamp?
Ogre-population.
I heard Shrek opened a new church so I decided to attend.
First thing they told us to do was open our bibles to Psalm: body once told me.
I put on Shrek and fell asleep. I woke up and it was over.
I ogre slept.
Why didn’t Princess Fiona fall in love with Lord Farquaad?
He lacks Shrek’s appeal
So I Saw Shrek for The First Time.
Ehhh … I thought it was pretty mediogre.
How was the sound quality of Shrek’s musical keyboard?
Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre.
Not many people know this but there’s actually a bible verse about Shrek
It’s called Psalm-BODY ONCE TOLD ME!!!
What do you call a Shrek fan girl?
An O-girl!
The news out of Washington has me feeling like Shrek.
I miss the good old days when all we had was a swamp.
My kids love The Hulk so I painted myself green for my son’s birthday party.
Man were they excited to meet Shrek.
Short Shrek Jokes
Short on time but still want a Shrek-tacular laugh? No worries, these short Shrek jokes are like mini ogres of humor packing a punch in a small package.
Why did Shrek bring a ladder to the swamp?
He wanted to take his relationship to a higher ogre level.
When Shrek plays baseball, what position does he play?
Ogre field.
What did Shrek say when he stubbed his toe?
Ogre and out!
Why was Shrek so good at math?
Because he was great at ogre-ations.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of music?
Swamp-hop.
How does Shrek keep his computer safe?
With an ogre-password.
Why did Shrek go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little green around the gills.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of seafood?
Ogre-sters.
What did Shrek say when he saw Donkey acting foolish?
“You’re making an ass of yourself.”
Why did Shrek bring a spoon to the swamp?
In case he wanted to have a “soup-er” time.
How does Shrek like his coffee?
Ogre-iced.
What do you call it when Shrek’s ears turn red?
Blushing in green.
Why did Shrek become a gardener?
He had a knack for making things ogre-grow.
What did Shrek say when he won the lottery?
“It’s all ogre now!”
Why did Shrek get a job at the bakery?
He loved making ogre-sized muffins.
What’s Shrek’s favorite type of footwear?
Ogre-sized boots.
Why did Shrek become a chef?
He was great at whipping up ogre-sters.
What do you call Shrek’s autobiography?
“The Green Pages.”
Why did Shrek go to the party alone?
He didn’t want to bring his “ogre”-protective friend.
What results when an ogre movie and a sci-fi TV show are combined?
“Shine, Shrek.”
What happened when the Ogre applied for a new job?
They had to Shrek his background.
What did the Ogre say after suffering an upper-body injury?
“I have shoulder pain and Shrek.”
How does Shrek open doors using donkeys?
He uses “an animal” to get the job done.
Which Christmas carol do they love in Far Far Away?
“Shake the rooms.”
What did Shrek do when he saw an onion ring?
He replied to it.
How does Shrek stay warm during the cold months?
By dressing in multiple layers.
What caused Shrek’s automobile accident?
He switched to ogre mode.
How does Shrek prefer his eggs?
Ogre-easy.
What did the dentist tell Shrek?
“In a few Shrek-onds, it will turn out to be an ogre.”
How did Shrek propose to Fiona?
With a ring of onions.
What’s the status of your relationship if you keep making Shrek allusions?
It’s likely ogre.
What happened when you tried to sing every song from the Shrek soundtrack?
It was out of your league.
Shrek Jokes One Liners
Feeling like a comedic Fiona in disguise? Try telling one of these Shrek one-liners! Just one sentence, but these jokes will have you saying, “Like that’s bad!” with laughter.
When Shrek opens a bakery, it’s called “Ogre Doughnuts.”
Shrek’s favorite dance move? The Swamp Shuffle.
Why did Shrek become a gardener? He wanted to grow some “ogre-ganics.”
If Shrek were a musician, his hit song would be “All Star (in the Swamp).”
Shrek’s cooking show is a hit – it’s called “Ogres in the Kitchen.”
What’s Shrek’s favorite board game? Ogre-opoly.
Shrek’s fitness routine includes “ogre-sized” lifting.
When Shrek tells jokes, they’re all “ogre the top.”
Shrek’s preferred vacation spot? Far Far Away Beach.
Why did Shrek start a fashion line? He wanted to create “ogre-couture.”
Shrek’s preferred method of communication? Ogrerolling his messages.
If Shrek were a detective, his catchphrase would be “It’s ogre, folks.”
Shrek’s preferred currency? Ogreenbacks.
What’s Shrek’s favorite social media platform? Snapogre.
Shrek’s favorite type of party? A swamp shindig.
Why did Shrek start a tech company? He wanted to create ogre-sized byte.
Shrek’s favorite martial art? O-gi-jujitsu.
When Shrek hosts a comedy show, it’s called “Stand-Up in the Swamp.”
Shrek’s preferred method of transportation? The Ogrescooter.
Why did Shrek become a poet? He wanted to write some “ogre-anic verses.”
Are you an ogre? Because you’ve got layers, and I want to peel them back.
Are you Fiona? Because you’ve transformed my swamp into a kingdom.
Is your name Donkey? Because you’re driving me wild.
Are you Lord Farquaad? Because you’re short, but you’ve captured my heart.
Are you Gingy? Because you’re one tough cookie to resist.
Are you Puss in Boots? Because you’ve got me purring.
Are you a Fairy Godmother? Because you’ve granted my wish for love.
Are you Dragon? Because you’re breathing fire into my soul.
Are you Pinocchio? Because every time you lie, my heart grows.
Are you the Magic Mirror? Because you reflect all the beauty in the world.
Are you the Pied Piper? Because you’re leading me straight to you.
Are you the Muffin Man? Because you’ve baked up something sweet in my heart.
Are you a Duloc guard? Because you’ve captured me with your charm.
Are you a talking donkey? Because you’re making me laugh uncontrollably.
Are you a fairy tale? Because you’re the happy ending I’ve been searching for.
Are you an onion? Because you’re making me cry tears of joy.
Are you a swamp? Because you’re mysterious and full of surprises.
Are you a gingerbread house? Because I want to nibble on your sweetness.
Are you a magic potion? Because you’ve enchanted me completely.
Are you Shrek? Because you’re my happily ever after.
Shrek Jokes for Adults
If you have a slightly naughty sense of humor and appreciate some adult-themed fun, then these Shrek jokes are for you.
Why did Shrek go to the tailor?
To get some ogre-sized clothes.
What do you call an ogre who loves to bike?
A pedal-ogre.
What do you call an ogre who loves to cook?
A chef-ogre.
Why did Shrek’s watch stop working?
It didn’t have any ogre-time.
Why did Shrek and Fiona go to the beach?
To catch some ogre-rays.
What do you call an ogre who’s always late?
A slow-ogre.
What do you call an ogre who loves to read?
A book-ogre.
Why did Donkey say Shrek was a great comedian?
He had a lot of ogre-tory humor.
Why did Shrek refuse to take his shoes off?
He didn’t want to show his ogre-toes.
What do you call an ogre who loves to sing?
A croon-ogre.
What do you call an ogre who’s always thirsty?
A drink-ogre.
Why did Shrek and Fiona go to the art museum?
To see some ogre-nal paintings.
Why did Shrek’s doctor say he was in great health?
He had a lot of ogre-anic food in his diet.
What do you call an ogre who’s always lost?
A wander-ogre.
What do you call an ogre with a lot of friends?
Popular.
Why did Shrek and Fiona go to the gym?
To work on their ogre-all fitness.
Why did Shrek go to the gym?
To work on his ogre-biceps.
What do you call an ogre who loves to ski?
A slope-ogre.
Why did Shrek go to therapy?
Because he had layers of emotional trauma to unpack.
What’s Fiona’s favorite type of music?
Ogres and rock ‘n’ roll.
Why did Lord Farquaad build such a tall castle?
To compensate for something, if you know what I mean.
How does Shrek keep his relationship spicy?
With a little ogre board role-playing.
Why did Shrek break up with Donkey?
Because Donkey kept making ass jokes.
What’s the one thing Shrek’s never been accused of?
Having a fairy-tale romance.
Why did Shrek never make it as a detective?
Because he always left things half ogre.
What’s Shrek’s favorite game?
Whack-a-Farquaad.
Why did Shrek become a vegetarian?
Because he heard that eating too much meat makes you Farquaad-sized.
Why did Shrek refuse to join the Olympic team?
Because he didn’t want to deal with all the anti-doping ogre-ulations.
Shrek Jokes for Kids
Looking for some clean and silly fun to keep the little ones entertained? These Shrek jokes for kids are the perfect solution! Even little ogres will enjoy these jokes!
What do you call an ogre who loves to dance?
Shrektro!
Why did Shrek cross the road?
To get to the ogre side.
What do you call it when Shrek’s wife farts?
Ogre-acious!
Why did Princess Fiona get angry at Shrek?
He was too ogre-bearing.
What do you call two ogres who get married?
Shrek and Roll.
What does Shrek say when he’s golfing?
‘Ogre green!’
What do you call a group of ogres playing music?
The Shrektet.
What do you call an ogre who travels the world?
Globetrotter!
What do you call an ogre who’s good at math?
Algebra-ogre.
Why did Donkey wear a tuxedo to see Shrek?
Because it was a formal sorry.
Why did Shrek refuse to go on a roller coaster?
He doesn’t like being ogrewhelmed.
What happens when you cross Shrek with a bat?
You get a squeaky clean ogre!
Why did Shrek become a farmer?
He wanted to grow ogre-nic veggies.
What do you call an ogre who’s always on time?
Punctual-ogre.
What happens when you startle a sleeping Shrek?
He wakes up ogre-tly.
What do you call it when Shrek plays hide and seek?
Ogre you looking for me?
Why did Shrek visit the dentist?
To have his ogreteeth checked.
What do you call an ogre who’s always in a hurry?
Ogre-tic.
Why did Farquaad refuse to make peace with Shrek and Fiona?
He was too short-sighted.
What do you call an ogre who’s also a pirate?
Shrekkarr!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a carrot?
Frosty the Snow-Cone!
Why was Donkey in such a bad mood?
He had a little pin-on.
Why did Shrek go half way to the moon?
He wanted to be a quarter-pounder.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a donkey?
A blue-ass.
What do you call a royal group of cows?
The Dairy-aires.
Why did the sloth rob the bank?
He wanted to take things slow.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.
Why was the cookie sad?
Because his mom was a wafer so long.
What do you call a group of well-dressed pigs?
Suave Swine.
Why did the fireman wear red suspenders?
To keep his pants up!
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything…
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
What do you call a thousand rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline!
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Shrek Jokes and Puns
These Shrek jokes and puns are so funny that they’ll make you roar with laughter! We’ve combined the world of Shrek with hilarious wordplay, creating jokes that are both clever and side-splitting.
What did Shrek say when he accidentally farted in front of Fiona? “Better out than ogre.”
Why did Shrek go to art school? To draw his ogre-face!
Why did Donkey need a lawyer? He had a mule-practice suit against him.
Why couldn’t the gingerbread man play with Shrek and his friends? He was afraid he’d get crumb-led away.
How did Shrek end up in jail? He got caught in a swamp of trouble.
Why did Shrek get a job as a waiter? He was tired of working at a coal mine.
What did Shrek say when he was asked about his work ethic? “I put in ogre-time.”
Why couldn’t Lord Farquaad sleep at night? He had a short temper.
What did the Magic Mirror say when asked who the most handsome ogre in the land was? “It’s Shrek-celent!”
Why was Puss in Boots afraid of ghosts? They made him feel sh-cat-tered!
How does Shrek stay cool in the summer? With his swamp cooler.
Why did Shrek go to the bank? To get his ogre-time paycheck.
What did Fiona say when Shrek proposed? Yes, ogre my dead body!
Why did the giant gingerbread man cross the road? To get to the other icing.
What did Shrek say when he walked into the bakery? “I loave this place!”
Why did the dragon break up with Donkey? He was too much of a jackass.
How does King Harold like his coffee? Ogre-easy.
What kind of haircut does Shrek get? A bowl-cut in half.
Why did the three pigs go to Shrek for help? They were in a ham-dinger of a situation.
How does Shrek stay organized? He uses his ogre-sized planner.
What’s Shrek’s favorite vegetable? Swample pie.
What do you call a Shrek-themed amusement park? Farquaad’s Funland.
Why did Donkey cross the road? To get to the onion on the other side.
What do you call Shrek’s girlfriend? Fionah.
Why did Shrek break up with his girlfriend? She was ogre-protective.
What did Shrek say when he saw the castle? “That’s a far cry from my swamp!”
What do you call a group of Shrek fans? O-greeters.
What do you call a Shrek party with lots of food? Feast Mode-on.
What did Shrek say to his therapist? “I feel like an ogre-burden.”
Why did Shrek refuse to play basketball? He’s not a bas-ket-case!
What do you call Shrek’s Scottish cousin? Kilt-kabob.
Why did Shrek refuse to read a book? He doesn’t like fairytale endings.
What do you call a group of ogres dancing? A jiggle gang.
Why did Shrek fall asleep standing up? He was having a snooze standing.
What do you call a music festival for ogres? Gruel-apalooza.
What do you call a Shrek-themed workout class? Ogre-cise.
Why did Shrek refuse to come out of his swamp? He was feeling a bit ogre-whelmed.
What do you call a Shrek sequel with a winter theme? Shrek the Snowman.
Why did Shrek order a pizza? He wanted to top it off with extra layers of cheese.
What did Shrek say to the dragon when he finally rescued Princess Fiona? “I’m not scared of a little fire-breath!”
Why did Shrek have to give up his landscaping business? He couldn’t handle the ogre-grown workload.
What did Shrek say when he saw a donkey eating his onions? “Hey, carrot that out of here!”
Why did Shrek start a home renovation business? He wanted to make his swamp a real fixer-upper.
What did Shrek say when he heard someone complain about his terrible jokes? “O-gre it!”
Why did Shrek set up a workout gym in the swamp? He wanted to achieve ogre-nal strength.
What did Donkey say to Shrek when he saw him wearing a red cape? “Well, aren’t you ogreizing your horns today!”
Why did Shrek become a detective? He wanted to solve the case of the missing ogre-nic onions.
What did Shrek say when he met Puss in Boots? “It’s purr-fectly nice to meet you!”
Why did Shrek take up fishing? He heard it was a good way to catch some river monsters.
What did the fairy godmother say when she saw Shrek in his swamp? “Well, well, isn’t this a swamp-diggity surprise!”
Why did Shrek start a spa business? He wanted to help others achieve ogre-radiance.
What did Shrek say to Fiona when he saw her cooking with green onions? “I see you’ve got the ogreeen onions out again!”
Why did Shrek become a car mechanic? He heard it was a good way to fix up some ogre-sized vehicles.
What did Donkey say when he saw Shrek in a suit and tie? “Well, look who’s ogre-dressed now!”
Why did Shrek switch to a vegetarian diet? He wanted to be a real veg-gre.
What did Shrek say when he saw a pile of coins in the swamp? “Looks like we’ve got some ogre-time!”
Why did Shrek start a dance studio? He wanted to teach others how to ogre-cize.
What did the Gingerbread Man say when he saw Shrek eating a cookie? “Hey, that’s my ogre-nal recipe!”
Why did Shrek start a pizza business? He wanted to make sure all pies had an ogre-perfect crust.
What did Shrek say when he saw an ogre-sized roller coaster? “I think this ride will really ogre-whelm us!”
Final Thoughts
Wow, what a ride! We hope our Shrek jokes flooded your day with ogre-joy.
It’s always fun to sprinkle a bit of Shrek humor into the mix, right?
Before you venture off, tell us – did you discover a new favorite Shrek joke? We’re all ears!
Save your favorite jokes about Shrek, create your own ogre-inspired comedy playlist, and revisit it whenever you need a good laugh.
And hey, if you’re hungry for more, what other Shrek-themed delights would you like us to serve up next?
Your feedback shapes our future content, so let us know your thoughts!
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