Step into the vibrant world of golf and comedy entwined within the legacy of Tiger Woods.
This curated assortment of Tiger Woods jokes encapsulates the essence of Tiger’s journey through the lens of humor.
From the profound words of iconic comedians to the resonating chuckles in internet lore, this collection presents a lighthearted exploration of Tiger Woods’ illustrious golfing career.
Embracing the wit, triumphs, and occasional mishaps of Tiger Woods.
This compilation of jokes about Tiger Woods promises to evoke uproarious laughter and a deeper appreciation for the lighter side of this legendary golfer’s story.
Best Tiger Woods Jokes
Experience a side-splitting journey through the finest Tiger Woods jokes that encapsulate his legendary golfing career. Delve into the world of humor inspired by Tiger’s victories, setbacks, and the charm that defines this golf icon.
Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?
It’s in case he gets a hole-in-one.
Why did Tiger Woods get divorced?
Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!
I went to the store today and bought a movie called Tiger Woods’ 18 Greatest Holes.
When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf.
Could Cat Stevens beat Wolf Blitzer?
No, but Tiger Woods.
Why did Tiger Woods parents name him Tiger?
Because he’s half Thai, half African American.
Why does Tiger Woods carry 2 blow-up s**… dolls with him at all times?
Incase he gets a hole in one.
What is Tiger Woods favorite course?
The i**….
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?
With Santa it is only three h**… and he’s done.
What’**… more ball than tiger woods?
Elton John’s chin.
Why did Tiger Woods get arrested?
He shot a birdie off season.
How did Tiger Woods get the name Tiger?
His mom is Thai and his dad is…….
Tiger Woods goes through 18 holes in one day…
And he STILL has time for golf.
Why did Tiger Woods become a musician?
He wanted to master the art of the perfect swing note.
What did Tiger Woods say to his golf ball during a storm?
Brace yourself for a lightning-quick hole-in-one!
I bought a dvd of tiger woods best 18 holes…
I was pretty upset it was all golfing.
Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes…
Tiger Woods is jealous of his low s**… count.
Why did Tiger Woods start a wildlife conservation foundation?
He knows the importance of preserving the natural habitat of his birdie friends.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite type of dance?
The swing dance, of course!
Why did Tiger Woods become a coach?
He wanted to teach others the fore-mula for success on the golf course.
What did Tiger Woods say to his caddy after hitting a perfect shot?
That’s how we tee it up in the Woods!
Why did Tiger Woods become a chef at a barbecue restaurant?
He wanted to show off his impressive backswing on the grill.
Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?
He couldn’t keep it down to 18 holes.
What did Tiger Woods say when asked about his favorite movie?
Caddyshack, because it’s a real ‘hole-in-one’ comedy!
Funny Tiger Woods Jokes
Take a swing at humor with a curated selection of jokes revolving around Tiger Woods’ life and career. Explore the amusing tales, punchlines, and lighthearted moments that make this golf maestro a perpetual source of laughter.
What is Tiger Woods’ spirit animal?
Idk, but his wife said he was a Cheetah
Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife?
He’s used to playing 18 holes.
A lion would never cheat on his wife A lion would never cheat on his wife but tiger wood.
Did you hear tiger woods got arrested?
Should have used his driver.
I’m not surprised Tiger Woods to get arrested for a DUI… …he hasn’t been driving straight since 2009.
A lion would never play golf But a Tiger Wood.
Why has it taken so long for the cops to catch Tiger Woods for DUI?
He hasn’t been able to drive straight for at least five years
Why did Tiger Woods get a DUI?
Because his driver was off.
Tiger Woods was arrested for DUI… he was three shots over.
What did the zoologist and herbologist name their child?
Tiger Woods
A lion would NEVER cheat on his mate But a Tiger Wood.
Tiger Woods plays 18 holes. Both on and off the golf course.
Yo mama is so s**… that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
Hilarious Tiger Woods Jokes
Embark on a hilarious expedition into the world of Tiger Woods jokes, filled with anecdotes that cleverly intertwine golf and comedy. Witness the fusion of wit and the golfing superstar’s experiences, promising uproarious entertainment.
Why did Tiger Woods become a poet?
He loves to craft verses that swing with rhythm and rhyme.
What did Tiger Woods say to the golf ball that always listened?
You’re my ‘hole-in-one’ confidant!
Why did Tiger Woods become an architect?
He wanted to design golf courses that truly reflected his swing style.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite childhood game?
Mini-golf, where every hole is a potential hole-in-one.
Why did Tiger Woods start a gardening club?
He enjoys handling the greens even outside of the golf course.
What did Tiger Woods say to his golf ball after a tricky putt?
You’re my ‘green’ savior!
What did Tiger Woods say to his golf club after a fantastic shot?
You’re the real MVP, driver!
Why did Tiger Woods become a motivational speaker?
He knows how to inspire others to achieve their hole-in-one dreams.
What did Tiger Woods say when asked about his favorite exercise?
Swinging – it’s the ultimate full-body workout!
Since Tiger Woods is back in the news and it’s the holiday season….
Why did Tiger Woods retire?
Because 18 holes wasn’t enough.
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?
Santa Clause knows to stop on the third h**…
I know lions wouldn’t like to make selfie with me
Hopefully Tiger Wood!
Tiger Woods is the ultimate Athlete.
18 holes a day and he still has time for golf.
Lions wouldn’t pose to make selfie with me
Probably Tiger Wood!
Jesus is playing golf with St Peter…
… he hit the ball straight into a lake.
He then walks onto the water to retrieve his ball… a man watching says Who does he think he is? Jesus?
St Peter replies He IS Jesus but he thinks he is Tiger Woods
Stevie Wonder has a bet with Tiger Woods on a game of golf, Stevie says I will beat you, so they agree to have a $500,000 bet on it, Stevie says you name the venue and I will name the time, Tiger says OK St Augustus, so what time we playing?
Stevie replied.
Midnight.
Stevie Wonder calls Tiger Woods and asks, How do you fancy a round of golf?
Tiger smiles to himself and responds, I didn’t know you were able to play, Stevie.
Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can wear an earpiece which tells him the direction and distance to it.
Tiger says, You have to understand Stevie, I’m a pro golfer, the best in the world! It will be too much of a mismatch!
Stevie laughs, Ok, well, tell you what, a million dollars says I win or are you chicken!?
Angrily, Tiger mutters, Ok, done! When do you want to play!?
Stevie responds, Any night this week.
Tiger Woods went to the v**… Islands
It is now called just the Islands.
A reporter asks Tiger Woods, How many wives have you had?
He says, do you mean my own or other people’s?
Tiger Woods’ girlfriend had a baby via C-section yesterday.
He didn’t make the cut.
What does Tiger Woods call s**… on the first date?
A hole in one.
My Favourite 18 Holes.
Pretty upset that Tiger Woods’ new Netflix special is just about golf.
Short Tiger Woods Jokes
Discover succinct yet uproarious Tiger Woods jokes that pack a comedic punch in minimal words. These quick-witted quips capture the essence of Tiger’s persona and his memorable moments in the most amusing ways.
Why did Tiger Woods become a teacher?
He wanted to teach everyone how to swing for success.
What did Tiger Woods say to the golf ball after a perfect shot?
You’re a real hole-in-one-in-a-million.
Why did Tiger Woods become a gardener?
He’s an expert at working with greens.
What did Tiger Woods say when he aced the test?
That’s a perfect score, just like my golf game.
Why did Tiger Woods become a banker?
He’s good at handling fore-closures.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite movie genre?
Golf comedies.
What did Tiger Woods say to his golf ball before a tournament?
You’re in for a swinging time.
Why did Tiger Woods become a doctor?
He knows how to cure a bad swing.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite dessert?
Hole-in-one cake.
Why did Tiger Woods become a drummer?
He’s great at handling the beat.
What did Tiger Woods say when he aced the spelling bee?
I’m a pro at putting letters together.
Why did Tiger Woods start a coffee shop?
He’s skilled at handling grounds.
What did Tiger Woods say when asked about his favorite subject in school?
Swing-glish.
Why did Tiger Woods become a therapist?
He knows how to handle mental hazards.
Tiger Woods Jokes One Liners
Explore the brilliance of Tiger Woods-inspired one-liners, where humor meets brevity to deliver instant laughter. Each joke encapsulates the essence of Tiger’s personality in a single line, ensuring immediate amusement.
The worst part about Tiger Wood’s driving is that it’s probably going to add to his handicap.
Bought the book: Tiger Woods best 18 holes. I was incredibly disappointed when I found out it was about golf.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?
One of them has a good driver.
What ruined Tiger Woods’ golf career?
His driving game.
What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 100 yards without hitting a tree.
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
Santa stops after three hos.
What is the best thing about Tiger Woods’ arrest?
A black man in America finally survived a traffic stop. Progress!
I’m not a professional caddy or anything…. but I think Tiger Woods probably should’ve used a driver.
Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?
In case he got a hole in one.
Clean Tiger Woods Jokes
Delight in a collection of family-friendly Tiger Woods jokes, focusing on lighthearted humor suitable for all ages. Enjoy the witty anecdotes and playful banter centered around Tiger’s career without venturing into mature content.
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa stopped at 3 h**…’s.
What advice did Tiger Woods’ dad have for Tiger during training?
Concentrate on golf—f**… everything else.
So I guess Tiger Wood and Lindsay Vonn are having an Open relationship.
Jesus and Moses are playing golf.
After teeing off, Jesus asks Moses which club he should use to clear the water hazard and Moses says, Use your 4 iron. Jesus says, No, Tiger Woods would use a 6 iron.
His shots goes into the water.
Jesus walks out onto the water to find his ball and is seen by another golfer who says to Moses, Look at that guy.
Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?
Moses says, He is Jesus Christ, he THINKS he’s Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn had a huge argument over whether to circumcise their son.
Lindsey went downhill from there, but Tiger made the cut.
Tiger Woods…
…just had the worst 9 holes in his life, well second worst if you consider the 9 holes that lost him his marriage but still…
Why was Tiger Woods such a good golfer?
He practiced more– Tiger played an 18-hole course every day, and then played another 18 holes over the course of the night.
So I heard Tiger Woods changed his name..
To Cheetah.
Tiger Woods: Half Black / Half Asian.
Fighting with his wife: Black. Crashing his car because of it: Asian.
What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?
They both get clubbed by Norwegians…
So i went to Walmart today…
… and asked customer service for gta5.
She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club.
She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.
So an old man marries a 20 year old blonde…
and she gets pregnant.
So he goes to the doctor.
The doctor proceeds to tell him a tale:
Once a boy went to the woods alone with an umbrella.
He encounters a tiger in the woods.
The boy points the umbrella at the tiger and the tiger drops dead immediately.
The old man interrupts Somebody else must have shot her!
Exactly what I want to tell you says the doctor.
Shouldn’t Tiger Woods win the 2015 Waste Management Phoenix Open?
Since he’s playing like garbage…
Dirty Tiger Woods Jokes
Experience the risqué side of Tiger Woods humor with jokes tailored for mature audiences. These daring quips might delve into adult-themed humor, adding a spicy twist to the golf icon’s anecdotes.
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed and just about ready to consummate their marriage when the new bride says to the husband:
I have a confession to make – I’m not a virgin.
The husband replies, That’s no big thing in this day and age.
The wife continues, Yea… I’ve been with one guy. Oh yeah?
Who was the guy?
Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods the golfer?
Yeah. Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome.
I can see why you went to bed with him.
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
What are you doing? asks the wife.
The husband says, I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.
Tiger wouldn’t do that. Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?
He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
Now what are you doing? she asks.
The husband says, I’m still hungry so I was going to call room service to get something to eat.
Tiger wouldn’t do that. Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?
He’d come back to bed and do it again.
The guy slams down the phone goes back to bed and makes love one more time.
When they finish, he’s tired and beat.
He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, Are you calling room service?
No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this darn hole.
Tiger Woods Jokes for Adults
Explore Tiger Woods jokes crafted for adult audience, offering irreverent humor and a glimpse into the golf legend’s lighter side. Dive into the realm of adult-themed jokes that intertwine with Tiger’s legacy.
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver.
Out of all the 9 irons, pitching wedges, and sand wedges tiger woods has.. you’d think he has a driver that works.
Why does Tiger Woods have a bad s**… life?
He always finishes in the least amount of strokes.
Tiger Woods was found driving under the influence.
Before you know it he will be putting under the influence.
Tiger Woods hit 18 holes day.
And still had time to play golf.
Tiger Woods is only going to need one club from now on…
A driver.
Tiger Woods was pulled over and given a sobriety test.
He would have passed but withdrew 1/2 way through.
*edited for word superfluous word removal.
My son wanted me to buy him GTA.
When I got to the store, I couldn’t remember the title. So I told the guy it’s the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women
He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf.
Would anyone like some prescription drugs?
Tiger Wood.
When interviewing the police officers involved in Tiger Woods’ arrest, they told how they came to suspect he was under the influence.
Simple The officer responded. It was the straightest drive he’s had in years. We knew right away something was up.
When Tiger Woods was pulled over by the police, they asked him how many pills he had taken…
… He yelled FOUR!
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and an amateur golfer?
Only one of them gets convicted for reckless driving.
What’s the dress code at any event involving Tiger Woods?
Black Thai.
A lion wouldn’t drunk drive.
But a tiger wood.
Tiger Woods Jokes for Kids
Delight in Tiger Woods jokes curated for younger audiences, featuring playful humor suitable for children. These jokes offer light-hearted fun while capturing the essence of Tiger’s charm and iconic moments.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite card game?
Hole-in-one poker.
Why did Tiger Woods become a chef?
He’s a pro at handling greens.
Why did Tiger Woods become a firefighter?
He knows how to handle hot situations.
What did Tiger Woods say when he won the lottery?
I’m already a jackpot on the golf course.
Why did Tiger Woods become a weatherman?
He’s great at predicting fairways.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite type of sandwich?
Club sandwich.
What did Tiger Woods say when asked about his favorite holiday?
Every day is a hole-in-one day.
Why did Tiger Woods become a tailor?
He’s great at stitching up his game.
What did Tiger Woods say when asked about his favorite book?
The Swing Chronicles.
Why did Tiger Woods become a scientist?
He wanted to experiment with different swings.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite board game?
Mini-golfopoly.
Why did Tiger Woods become a hairstylist?
He knows how to handle a good cut.
What did Tiger Woods say to the golf ball after a bad shot?
You’re driving me bunkers!
Tiger Woods Jokes and Puns
Engage in clever wordplay and wit inspired by Tiger Woods’ career through a collection of jokes blending puns and golfing anecdotes. Enjoy the artistry of linguistic humor intertwined with the golf legend’s persona.
Why did Tiger Woods bring a pencil to the golf course?
He wanted to draw his way out of a rough situation.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why did Tiger Woods start a landscaping business?
He’s great at handling the rough.
Why did Tiger Woods open a bakery?
He’s skilled at handling the dough.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite video game?
Tiger Woods PGA Tour, of course!
How does Tiger Woods fix his computer?
He gives it a good chip shot.
Why did Tiger Woods start a clothing line?
Because he always looks teed-off.
What did Tiger Woods say when he won a cooking competition?
I really know how to grill!
Why did Tiger Woods take a math class?
To improve his score.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite type of tree?
A golf tree.
Why did Tiger Woods become a pilot?
He wanted to master the art of taking off and landing smoothly.
Why did Tiger Woods go to the zoo?
He heard they had a great swing exhibit.
What did Tiger Woods say to his caddy when he was having a bad round?
I need a mulligan on life.
Why did Tiger Woods become a painter?
He’s a pro at mastering strokes.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite type of car?
A hole-in-one convertible.
Why did Tiger Woods become a detective?
He’s great at finding balls in the rough.
What did Tiger Woods say to his golf clubs?
You’re all irreplaceable.
Why did Tiger Woods open a seafood restaurant?
He knows how to handle sand traps.
What’s Tiger Woods’ favorite kind of ice cream?
Hole-in-one mint chip.
Final Thoughts
Indulge in the infectious joy of laughter ignited by Tiger Woods jokes, bridging the gap between golf and humor.
Share your favorite jokes about Tiger Woods, anecdotes, and the moments that made you laugh the hardest in the comments below.
As we celebrate the comedic genius woven into Tiger Woods’ legacy, remember the enduring power of laughter in bringing people together.
Explore more, laugh often, and keep the spirit of humor alive as we continue to find joy in the wit and charm of Tiger Woods’ timeless anecdotes.
Your laughter resonates beyond these jokes, creating a lasting connection through shared amusement and appreciation for a golf legend’s lighter moments.
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