Board the laughter ark with our Noah’s Ark jokes that promise a deluge of hilarity!
We’ve gathered the finest jests, puns, and quips that humorously reimagine the iconic biblical story.
Join Noah and his animal companions in a riot of laughter as we explore the comical side of this timeless narrative.
From the challenges of managing a floating zoo to the quirky personalities of the animals on board, these Noah jokes will leave you in stitches.
To continue the laughter, read the full collection below.
Best Noah’s Ark Jokes
Grab your life jacket of joy and hop aboard the humor ark! These jokes will sail you through a storm of giggles.
Which animal on Noah’s Ark had the highest level of intelligence?
The giraffe.
Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark?
Because they were using “fowl” language.
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers.
When was the first meat mentioned in the Bible?
When Noah took Ham into the ark.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah – he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Did all the animals on the ark come in pairs?
No the worms came in apples.
Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
He only had two worms!
How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
Because Noah sat on the deck.
What animal could Noah not trust?
The Cheetah.
What money did Noah carry into the ark?
Bucks and doe.
Why were the horses aboard the ark Pessimistic?
They were always saying neigh.
Alice: Grandma, were you on Noah’s ark?
GrandmNo.
Alice: then how did you survive the flood?
Why didn’t the animals on Noah’s Ark ever get bored?
Because they had a boatload of entertainment!
What do you call two ants on Noah’s Ark?
Ant-thony and Cleo.
Why did the giraffe get left behind on the Ark?
It was a little high-maintenance.
What’s the best way to raise money for charity on Noah’s Ark?
Hold a two-by-two fundraiser!
Why did the lion eat all the passengers on Noah’s Ark?
Because he wanted a “pride” of the action.
What do you call Noah when he loses his temper?
A mad-man.
What was the last animal to get on the Ark?
The elephant – it had to pack its trunk.
What did Noah say to the animals before they boarded the Ark?
“Now, don’t rock the boat!”
Why did the dove sit on the crow’s nest of Noah’s Ark?
It wanted a bird’s-eye view.
What did Noah say to his sons when they finished building the Ark?
“Well, that’s a boatload off my mind!”
Why did Noah never go hungry on the Ark?
Because he had two “oats”-standing chefs!
What do you call a bear with no teeth on Noah’s Ark?
A gummy bear.
Why did Noah never play cards on the Ark?
Too many cheetahs.
What’s the most musical animal on Noah’s Ark?
The trumpet-elephant.
What did Noah say to the animals after the flood?
“Now, let’s not make it a habit!”
Why did Noah get a job as a zookeeper after the flood?
He had experience with animal management.
What’s the difference between Noah’s Ark and a baseball team?
On the Ark, you only need two bats!
Why did Noah take a computer on the Ark?
To keep an ark-ive.
What do you call a pair of dangerous fish on Noah’s Ark?
A piranha-ssociation.
Why did the animals on Noah’s Ark always cooperate?
They were all in the same boat.
What’s Noah’s favorite snack?
Animal crackers!
Why did Noah take pairs of animals on the Ark?
Because the ark-tecture required it.
What did Noah say when he saw the first rainbow?
“Well, that’s a colorful surprise!”
Why did Noah use a laptop on the Ark?
Because he wanted to keep an eye on the weather forecast.
What’s a pirate’s favorite Bible story?
Noah’s Ark, because it has two of every arrrrk!
Why did the ants on Noah’s Ark refuse to help with the construction?
They were told it was a job for larger animals.
What did Noah say when he saw the animals playing cards on the Ark?
“Hey, no cheetahs allowed!”
How did Noah keep track of all the animals on the Ark?
He used a logbook.
Why was Noah the best basketball player on the Ark?
He had a great “arc”!
Funny Noah’s Ark Jokes
Set sail on a sea of smiles with these Noah’s Ark jokes – guaranteed to float your boat and leave you chuckling two by two!
Why did Noah start a podcast on the Ark?
He wanted to capture the “floodcast.”
What’s Noah’s favorite social media platform?
Ark-stagram – where he shares snapshots of the animal kingdom.
How did Noah communicate with the animals during the flood?
He sent them text messages, of course – it was a “text-tinction” event.
What’s Noah’s favorite type of smartphone?
The waterproof one, just in case of another flood.
Why did Noah upgrade his Ark to Wi-Fi?
To stay connected with the animals in the cloud.
How did Noah stay entertained during the flood?
He had a streaming service on the Ark – ArkFlix.
What did Noah say when he uploaded a picture of the Ark on social media?
“Just cruisin’ through the flood, two by two.”
Why did Noah bring a GPS on the Ark?
To make sure he didn’t make any arkward turns.
What’s Noah’s favorite music streaming platform?
Spotify – for the ultimate ark-oustic experience.
Why did Noah become a vlogger during the flood?
He wanted to document the “Noah-mal” life on the Ark.
How did Noah keep the animals entertained on the Ark?
He organized a virtual animal talent show.
What did Noah say when he saw a rainbow for the first time?
“Wow, my Wi-Fi signal is amazing up here!”
Why did Noah get a smartwatch before the flood?
To keep track of the rising tide.
How did Noah organize the animal census on the Ark?
He created a spreadsheet on his tablet.
What’s Noah’s favorite mobile game?
Ark-enoid – a classic paddle and ball game.
Why did Noah start a fitness program on the Ark?
He wanted to ensure the animals stayed shipshape.
What’s Noah’s favorite weather app?
Rain Rad AR – for predicting the next flood.
Why did Noah create an email newsletter during the flood?
He wanted to keep his subscribers afloat with updates.
How did Noah organize the daily chores on the Ark?
He created a shared Google Calendar for the animals.
What did Noah say when the elephants wanted to bring their laptops?
“Sorry, no trunk space available!”
Why did Noah start a cryptocurrency on the Ark?
He wanted to call it “NoahCoin” – the ultimate flood currency.
How did Noah make sure the animals got enough exercise?
He organized virtual Zumba classes on the Ark.
What did Noah say when he saw a drone flying over the Ark?
“I guess the dove got an upgrade.”
Why did Noah bring a power bank on the Ark?
To ensure the Ark always had a full charge.
How did Noah keep track of time during the flood?
He had an app for that – Arklock.
What’s Noah’s favorite social media challenge?
The Ice Bucket Challenge – because he had plenty of water on hand.
Why did Noah become a tech support specialist on the Ark?
He was great at troubleshooting ark-ane problems.
What did Noah say when he accidentally dropped his smartphone in the floodwater?
“Well, that’s a dampening experience.”
Why did Noah create a blog during the flood?
To share his “Noah-ble” adventures with the world.
How did Noah entertain the animals during the flood?
He hosted virtual game nights with Ark-ade classics.
What did Noah say when the WiFi went down on the Ark?
“Looks like we’re in for a rough sea-son.”
Why did Noah start a YouTube channel on the Ark?
He wanted to go viral with his ark-ive footage.
How did Noah keep track of the animals’ dietary preferences?
He had a meal planning app – Ark-eats.
What did Noah say when he checked the weather forecast on his tablet?
“Looks like a 40-day free trial of precipitation.”
Why did Noah bring a drone on the Ark?
To get a bird’s-eye view of the flood!
Hilarious Noah’s Ark Jokes
Float into the world of laughter with these Noah’s Ark jokes. An ark-load of puns and jokes that will rock your boat!
Did you hear about Noah’s new business?
He’s selling ark-erades!
What do you call Noah’s favorite type of cereal?
Fruity Deluge.
Why did Noah become a farmer after the flood?
He was used to working with a pair of every animal!
Did you know Noah created the first shopping list?
He had to remember to buy two of everything!
What musical instrument did Noah bring on the ark?
A rain-bow!
Why did Noah bring a pair of sunglasses on the ark?
There was a flood of sunlight!
How did Noah know which animal was the fastest runner?
He had a race and the cheetah won by a Noah’s nose!
How did Noah keep fit during the flood?
He did ark-obics!
Did you hear about Noah’s favorite type of exercise?
Body-ark!
How did Noah navigate the ark during the rainstorm?
He used navigoat-ion!
How did Noah find his way back to the ark after patrolling the animals at night?
He used a compass-noose!
What do the animals on Noah’s ark say to cheer each other up?
“Don’t worry, be ark-y!”
Why did Noah organize a talent show on the ark?
To have a good ark-t!
How did Noah come up with the design for the ark?
He used his ark-itectural skills!
What kind of car does Noah drive?
An ark-ord!
Did you hear about the party Noah threw on the ark?
It was a real boat-anical garden!
Why did the giraffe refuse to play cards with Noah?
He heard Noah was a cheetah!
How did Noah keep track of time on the ark?
He used a Noah’s ark-allowed!
What did Noah say when he finally got to dry land?
Sea ya later alligator, it’s been a wild Noah ride!
Who was the best financier in the Bible?
Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.
Why do writers hate the bible?
It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.
Who was the greatest financer in the bible?
Noah, cause he floated his stocks while the rest of the world was in liquidation.
Knock Knock Noah’s Ark Jokes
Open sesame to a flood of fun with Noah knock knock jokes! These door-worthy puns are the perfect addition to your ark of amusement.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place to find a pair of giraffes?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the animals are on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken you open the door? It’s starting to rain!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arf.
Arf who?
Arf you ready for a boatload of animal puns?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says “moo” on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Just-in time for the flood!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Cargo round the Ark two by two!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Camel.
Camel who?
Camel the animals fit on the Ark?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Noah’s Ark, and we’re all on board!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah place like home – especially when it’s on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s getting wet out here!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hare.
Hare who?
Hare’s another animal for the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the sunscreen – it’s going to be a long voyage!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good jokes about the Ark?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shell.
Shell who?
Shell we set sail on the Ark?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow-culate how many animals can fit on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wave.
Wave who?
Wave goodbye to the dry land – we’re on the Ark now!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a new animal on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Puddle.
Puddle who?
Puddle in pairs on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kangaroo.
Kangaroo who?
Kangaroo-p on the Ark’s door!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Furry.
Furry who?
Furry animals are here for the journey!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eagle.
Eagle who?
Eagle come aboard the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Animal.
Animal who?
Animal ready to set sail!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quack.
Quack who?
Quack open the door – the ducks are here!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah’s Ark – can I come in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Watermelon.
Watermelon who?
Watermelon on the Ark, but there’s no room for seeds!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat a ticket to ride on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the animals are onboard!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Llama.
Llama who?
Llama get in before it starts raining!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pairs.
Pairs who?
Pairs of animals, two by two, on the Ark!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear witness to the grand adventure of Noah’s Ark!
Noah’s Ark Jokes One Liners
Noah’s Ark, where humor is the currency! Enjoy these one-liners, each a comedic gem that will leave you floating on waves of laughter.
Why did Noah build an ark? Because he wanted to make a splash!
How did the animals get on the ark? They just had to paws and board!
What did Noah say when the animals started getting restless? “Ark-eology!”
Why was the ark like a bar? It had a lot of spirits!
Did you hear about the animal that refused to board the ark? He was a bit of a grizzly bear-acter!
What do you call a group of cats on a boat? A meow-nificent crew!
Who was the most patient animal on the ark? The turtle, because he had shell-ebration time!
What did the elephant say to Noah when they reached dry land? “Trunk-fully yours!”
Why were the birds so happy on the ark? They had fowl language!
What did the lion say to the zebra on the ark? “I’m not a morning person, but I’ll roar for breakfast.”
How did the snakes travel on the ark? In hiss-terical order!
What did the chicken say to the egg on the ark? “Don’t worry, we’re all in this together – yolk and white!”
Why did the rabbit bring carrots on the ark? To have a hare-y good time!
What did the ducks say to each other on the ark? “Quack up, it’s almost time to migrate!”
How did the bees survive the flood? They had their honeycomb life rafts!
What did the cat say to the dog on the ark? “You’re barking mad if you think I’m sharing my food with you!”
Why was the crocodile sad on the ark? Because he missed his swamp-thing!
What did the monkey say to Noah when they arrived at Mount Ararat? “Ooh ooh ahh, I see land!”
How did the kangaroo join the ark? He hopped aboard!
What did the owl say to the other animals on the ark? “Hoot goes there?”
Why did the snake visit the doctor on the ark? To get some ssss-sistance!
What did the parrot say to Noah during the flood? “Polly want a cracker, matey?”
How did the rhino get on the ark? He just horned in!
What did the fox say to the chicken on the ark? “I’m not trying to pull your leg, but can I have some eggs for breakfast?”
Why was the ark like a restaurant? It had a diverse menu-of-animals!
What did the turkey say to the other birds on the ark? “Gobble, gobble, let’s eat!”
How did the octopus get on the ark? He squid the entrance exam!
What did the cow say to the milkmaid on the ark? “Udder nonsense, where’s my hay?”
Why was the ark like a school bus? It had a lot of class-rooms!
What did the goat say to the sheep on the ark? “Baaa-believe it or not, we’re sailing through the deluge!”
Noah’s Ark Jokes for Adults
Unlock the floodgates of adult hilarity with these Noah’s Ark jokes. Set sail on a journey of wit and cheeky humor that’s bound to make a splash.
Where did Noah keep the bees during the flood?
In the Ark Hives.
Why did the polar bears on Noah’s Ark hang out near the insects?
They were looking for the ark tick.
As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, he came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves…
So Noah asked them, “Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
What type of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
You’d think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
Why was Noah a great economist?
He kept his stock afloat while everything else was in liquidation.
Mom: “How was school today, Noah?”
Noah: “It was awesome! Today we made explosives!”
Mom: “Very interesting. What will you do in school tomorrow?”
Noah: “What school?”
An English teacher asked their students: “Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?”
A student responded, “Noah, because he has the largest story Ark.”
Need to build an Ark?
I Noah man…
After the Great Flood, Noah sends the animals to go forth and multiply.
A pair of snakes stayed behind. Noah asked, why they stayed.
The pair of snakes replies “We can’t multiply, we’re adders” …
so Noah builds them a log table
Where did Noah keep his bees?
In his ark hives.
The most successful investor was Noah.
He floated stock, while everything else around him went into liquidation.
How do you know that Noah was white?
No black guy could go 40 days on a boat without eating chicken.
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00.
Sincerely,
The Unicorns
If you need an ark built…
I Noah guy
What did Noah say after he let the dinosaurs in?
Welcome to Jurassic Ark.
Which bird did Noah regret taking on the ark?
The woodpeckers.
Where did Noah keep his bees?
The Ark Hives.
If you need an ark to move animals, just tell me.
I Noah guy.
You want an ark?
I Noah guy!
Somebody got no “A”s on their report card.
That’s why his name is NoAh
My South African friend likes telling Earthquake jokes.
He’s a regular Tremor Noah.
Did you hear the one about the ‘Noah’s Ark’ themed restaurant?
They were flooded with reservations.
Why did all the dogs survive Noah’s Flood?
They were all good buoys.
Noah’s Ark Jokes for Kids
Board the laughter ark with these kid-friendly Noah’s Ark jokes. These jokes are like animal crackers for the soul – delightful, fun, and perfect for the little ones.
What kind of car did Noah drive?
A convertible!
What did the Noah say to his family before building the ark?
It’s time to make waves!
Did Noah bring any bowling balls on the ark?
No, but he did have a pair of arctic terns!
How did Noah keep the ark smelling fresh?
With Noah-scent!
Why did Noah take two of every animal on the ark?
Because he didn’t want to be called a liar!
Why was Noah the best sailor?
Because he was a real “arc”-tist!
What did the rain say to Noah?
Drop by drop, I’m falling for you!
How did Noah pass the time on the ark?
He played cards with his deck of sharks!
Why did all the animals in the ark start singing?
Because they had their own ark-e-stra!
What kind of math did Noah do on the ark?
Ar-kithmetic.
How did Noah confuse the animals?
He mixed up all the animals’ ears. He said, “I can’t hear you, I’ve got an elephant ear!
Why did Noah bring a ladder on the ark?
In case he wanted to reach a new “tide”!
Did Noah have a favorite tree?
Yes, it was the ark-ade!
How did Noah discipline the unruly animals in the ark?
He sent them to their “room” in the lion’s den-tition.
What did Noah say when he counted all the animals on the ark?
“Here ar-come-t the animals!”
Why did Noah’s wife leave him?
She couldn’t stand the constant “ark-y” jokes!
What did the raindrop say to Noah as it fell?
“Wet’s go on an ark-venture together!”
How did Noah stay in shape on the ark?
He did ark-eobics with the animals!
What was Noah’s favorite type of candy?
Jellyfish!
Noah’s Ark Jokes and Puns
Noah’s Ark becomes a playground of puns with these jokes. Get ready for a voyage filled with clever wordplay and animal humor that pairs perfectly with laughter.
What did Noah say to his sons when they complained about the lack of Wi-Fi on the ark?
Don’t worry, we’ll just use our Noah-ditional means of communication!
Why did Noah become a meteorologist? Because he was always on board with predicting rain!
How did Noah feel when the animals started leaving the ark? His arks were breaking!
What did Noah use to navigate the ark? His Nautical-Noah-gation skills!
Why did Noah become an animal translator? He spoke the Noah-guage!
How did Noah and his family entertain the animals on the ark? They played Noah-d games!
Why did Noah’s sons complain about the food on the ark? They were tired of eating Noah’s Ark-noghty!
Why did the animals follow Noah’s instructions? He always kept it Noah-nonsense!
What did Noah say when people asked why he didn’t bring unicorns on the ark?
“Because they were uni-corny!”
How did Noah keep his clothes clean on the ark? He used Noah-bleach!
Why did Noah’s family think he was funny? He always brought a sense of Noah-r!
What did Noah say when he grew tired of the company on the ark? “I need some Noah-ff time!”
How did Noah address the animals when they misbehaved on the ark? He gave them a Noah-tion!
Why did Noah’s family support his ark-building project? They were Noah-bel!
What did Noah say when asked why he didn’t fish while on the ark? “I didn’t want to make a Noah-ssance!”
How did Noah motivate the animals on the ark to be helpful? He provided Noah-gging rights!
What did Noah say to the kangaroos when he asked them to enter the ark? Hop on aboard!
How did Noah and his family prepare for the arrival of the animals? They made Noah-therd provisions!
What was Noah’s advice to the elephants on the ark? “Never forget how to have a good time!”
Noah could have created the first cruise ship, but he’d rather stick to his ark-anship!
Noah knew how to have a whale of a time on his ark.
The animals on Noah’s ark had quite the wild ride, if you know what I mean.
Noah may have had a lot of rain on his ark, but he also had a lot of “rain.
Noah was famous for his ability to gather two of each kind of animal, but he also had a knack for attracting a different kind of pair.
Noah was definitely an animal lover, but he also had a soft spot for human companionship.
The phrase “water sports” took on a whole new meaning on Noah’s ark.
Noah had some strict rules on his ark, but he was always open to a little rule-bending.
Noah’s ark may have been crowded, but it was nothing compared to the crowd in Noah’s bedroom!
Noah’s ark was the ultimate love boat!
Noah knew how to keep his passengers entertained during those long days at sea.
Waterboarding wasn’t the only controversial practice aboard Noah’s ark.
Noah’s ark had the best fraternities and sororities, if you catch my drift.
Noah had to be careful when walking around the ark — there were animals mating everywhere!
Who needs Tinder when you have Noah’s ark? It’s a match-maker’s paradise!
Noah’s ark is where animals went for a different kind of animal attraction.
The phrase “opposites attract” was taken to a whole new level on Noah’s ark.
Noah may have been building an ark, but he was really just looking for some love.
The animals on Noah’s ark were more than just friends with benefits.
Noah knew how to keep the ark rocking all night long.
Final Thoughts
That’s the end of our Noah’s Ark jokes ride!
From clever wordplay to whimsical scenarios, our Noah jokes have added a new layer of enjoyment to the timeless tale.
Did you find it funny? Share the laughs with your friends and family by telling them your favorite joke.
Stay connected for more humor-filled collections, as we believe in the power of laughter to uplift spirits.
We’ll be back with more jokes. Keep smiling and spreading happiness!
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